The Wipeout Run at Royal Purple Raceway in Baytown on March 28, 2015, will have participants contending with numerous big ball-themed obstacles.
Photo courtesy of Wipeout Run 5k
If you've ever wanted to take a crack at the crazy obstacle courses on ABC's Wipeout, you'll soon be able to experience the next best thing: Wipeout Run 5k, coming to Royal Purple Raceway in Baytown on March 28, 2015.
The event, which is similar to the Ridiculous Obstacle Challenge that was held recently in Austin and other cities, will have its first official stop in the Dallas-Fort Worth area on March 21. The event has eight other scheduled stops around the United States in 2015 and a number of dates at cities, including Austin, to be determined.
The big difference between the Ridiculous Obstacle Challenge and the Wipeout Run is that Endemol North America, which produces the TV series, has given its official approval for the tie-in, allowing organizers to use obstacles like the show's patented Big Balls, Sweeper Arms and Wrecking Balls.
As you could imagine, with the potential for pratfalls all over the course, the event is not really aimed at dedicated runners. Instead, it is an untimed event open to anyone 18 and over who's willing to get the snot knocked out them by the various obstacles.
Registration for the event is now open, starting at $59 through Jan. 9. If you think this might be your thing at all, it's best to sign up early, as prices increase every month or so, ending up at $89 on race day.
The beauty standards put upon women (and, occasionally, men) in the movie and TV industry have long been ridiculous, although little has changed over the years. Many actors still feel the need to cosmetically enhance themselves in order to appear younger than they are to, in theory, snag roles for which they normally wouldn’t be considered.
In The Substance, Demi Moore plays Elisabeth Sparkle, a fading star who’s about to be kicked off of her long-running exercise show because a network executive, the not-so-subtly-named Harvey (Dennis Quaid), wants someone “younger and hotter.” Soon thereafter, Elisabeth learns about a treatment called “The Substance” that would allow her to transform into an idealized version of herself.
Ah, but there’s a catch: She can only do it for seven days at a time, and if she fails to change back after a week, there are consequences. At first, her "younger" self, who goes by Sue (Margaret Qualley), is diligent about switching back and forth, but as Sue’s rising fame goes to her head, she becomes greedy, borrowing time from Elisabeth in a way that is detrimental to them both. It’s only a matter of time before things come to a head.
Written and directed by French filmmaker Coralie Fargeat, the film is one of the most stylish of the year. Fargeat uses unusual perspectives and eye-grabbing colors to enhance her storytelling, and the visuals and the plot complement each other extremely well. Particularly notable is her depiction of Harvey, an obnoxious and sexist person made even more disgusting by the way Fargeat zooms in on his face while he’s spouting nonsense, eating prawns, and more.
The wild premise of the film only increases in insanity as it goes along, and little can prepare viewers for just how off-the-wall it gets. Gradually, the stylishness gives way to grotesqueness, and Fargeat holds little back in this regard. Without divulging exactly what happens, suffice it to say that the unattainable sexiness that is shown in part of the film is counteracted by some extreme ugliness, and it’s as hilarious as it is off-putting.
Even as it exposes the shallow part of the entertainment industry, the film has a weird anachronism to it. The fall of Elisabeth and rise of Sue revolves around, of all things, a network TV exercise show, something that’s rarely been a ratings monster, and certainly not at the levels stated in the film. It could be argued that, with all of the other strange stuff going on, Fargeat wanted to divorce the film from any semblance of reality, but it still stands out.
While it’s easy to read parallels between the 61-year-old Moore and Elisabeth, the real genius in casting Moore in this particular part is that she has long been confident in her own body, appearing nude while pregnant on the cover of Vanity Fair and starring in Striptease, among other things. This role requires her to be more vulnerable than most other women her age would be willing to be, but her confidence still shines through. The combination of her physicality and her acting makes a big impact, especially as things start to devolve for her character.
On the other end of the spectrum is the objectification of Qualley in order to prove Fargeat’s larger point. Rarely is a moment missed to zoom in on her body as she takes over the dance show or to have Quaid’s character comment on her looks. Both Qualley and Quaid play their over-the-top roles very well, with each seeming to know exactly what they signed up for.
You may not find a more intensely entertaining film in 2024 than The Substance, one that effectively makes its argument about unreasonable body standards in Hollywood while delivering visuals audiences won’t soon forget. With standout performances by Moore, Qualley, and Quaid, it’s not to be missed for those who don’t have queasy stomachs.
