Say it ain't so Willie

Willie Nelson turns his back on real local food, sells out to McDonald's-builtChipotle

Willie Nelson, you sweet, trusting man.

I know it sounded like a good idea doing a sad(der), countrified version of Coldplay's "The Scientist" as a protest against industrial farming techniques. And in another context, it totally would have been.

And I'm sure some folks who see this clever, slightly eerie video will be moved by it. Mostly by your heartfelt vocals that we've loved for years. And filmmaker Johnny Kelly's stop-action animation is, in fact, smooth and professional and clever.

But this project was commissioned by Chipotle Mexican Grill. The same Chipotle that grew its operations exponentially while receiving the majority of its investments from the McDonald's Corporation. The same McDonald's that makes "chicken" McNuggets out of processed chicken product.

Why support a fast food chain in the first place? That doesn't seem your style, man.

And sure, since splitting from McDonald's, Chipotle founder Steve Ells has released his Food With Integrity mission statement, highlighting his company's commitment to organic, naturally-raised, hormone-free meats and cheeses and beans. Thank goodness for all that.

But this is also the same Chipotle that features mass produced sculptures of cartoonish Mayan kings and warriors to hang on the walls of all 14 billion of its restaurants. It's a "Mexican grill" so I suppose we need some indication of that in this corrugated steel and cement and wood box we're sitting in, enjoying these authentic Mexican dishes like barbacoa burrito bowls and Diet Coke.

I suppose if you wanted to support ANY fast food restaurant, Willie, it makes sense that Chipotle would be the one you would choose with your passion for natural farming practices. But why support a fast food chain in the first place? That doesn't seem your style, man.

I'll admit, I really like your gravelly, slowed-down cover of the song. Especially with the adorable pig grunts and swelling slide guitar. But then, there's that darn Chipotle logo there on that truck at the end, and I'm yanked out of this 30-second utopia y'all created and I'm left wondering what the hell this world is we're living in.

Enjoy the dividends, my man. I'm going to try to stick to something more local.

Movie Review

Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 doesn't match the first movie's enthusiasm

Five Nights at Freddy's 2

Blumhouse

Five Nights at Freddy's 2.

Blumhouse Productions first made their name with the Paranormal Activity series, establishing themselves as a leader in the horror genre thanks to their relatively cheap yet effective movies. In recent years, they’ve added on “soft” horror films like M3GAN and Five Nights at Freddy’s to draw in a younger audience, with both films becoming so successful that each was quickly given a sequel.

Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 finds Mike (Josh Hutcherson) and his sister Abby (Piper Rubio) still recovering from the events of the first film, with Abby particularly missing her “friends.” Those friends just so happen to be the souls of murdered children who inhabit animatronic characters at the long-defunct Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, children who were abducted and killed by William Afton (Matthew Lillard).

A new threat emerges at another Freddy Fazbear’s location in the form of Charlotte, another murdered child who inhabits a creepy large marionette. Mike, distracted by a possible romance with Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail), fails to keep track of Abby, who makes her way to the old pizzeria and inadvertently unleashes Charlotte and her minions on the surrounding town.

Directed by Emma Tammi and written by Scott Cawthon (who also created the video game on which the series is based), the film tries to mix together goofy elements with intense scenes. One particular sequence, in which the security guard for Freddy Fazbear’s lets a group of ghost hunters onto the property, toes the line between soft and hard horror. That and a few others show the potential that the filmmakers had if they had stuck to their guns.

Unfortunately, more often than not they either soft-pedal things that would normally be horrific, or can’t figure out how to properly stage scenes. The sight of animatronic robots wreaking havoc is one that is simultaneously frightening and laughable, and the filmmakers never seem to find the right balance in tone. Every step in the direction of making a truly scary horror film is undercut by another in which the robots fail to live up to their promise.

It doesn’t help that Cawthon gives the cast some extremely wooden dialogue, lines that none of the actors can elevate. What may work in a video game format comes off as stilted when said by actors in a live-action film. The story also loses momentum quickly after the first half hour or so, with Cawthon seemingly content to just have characters move from place to place with no sense of connection between any of the scenes.

Hutcherson (The Hunger Games series), after being the true lead of the first film, is given very little to do in this film, and his effort is equal to his character’s arc. The same goes for Lail, whose character seems to be shoehorned into the story. Rubio is called upon to carry the load for a lot of the movie, and the teenager is not quite up to the task. A brief appearance by Skeet Ulrich seems to be a blatant appeal to Scream fans, but he and Lillard only underscore how limited this film is compared to that franchise.

Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 is better than the first film, but not by much. The filmmakers do a decent job of making the new marionette character into a great villain, but they fail to capitalize on its inherent creepiness. Instead, they fall back on less effective elements, ensuring that the film will be forgettable for anyone other than hardcore Freddy fans.

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Five Nights at Freddy's 2 opens in theaters on December 5.

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