weekend event planner

Here are the top 8 things to do in Houston this weekend

Pop some bottles at a'Bouzy's birthday bash.

Courtesy photo

This weekend will feature people celebrating in white linen and a rap legend performing at a museum. Or, you can join the masses at a hot champagne spot or take in some Shakespeare.

Here, then, are your best weekend bets.

Thursday, August 1

Washington Night Market at Revolver Houston
When we heard there was this new business called Daisies & Pancakes, we thought, "Wow — another pancake place!" But it turns out it's an online store that sells vintage, wearable art. They're also curating this night market, which will have vendors selling vintage clothing, jewelry, arts and crafts, and much more. A happy-hour networking mixer will pop off from 5-7 pm (complete with drink specials), and Soul Control will provide the music. Let's just hope there are pancakes. 7 pm to midnight.

Friday, August 2

a'Bouzy's 2nd Birthday Party
We can't get enough of a'Bouzy, better known as the spot where it seems they have an unlimited supply of Moet & Chandon. They will definitely be serving bottles of that during their second anniversary party, where guests can enjoy special food pairings with the purchase of each bottle. We're talking Moet and snapper ceviche, Moet and tortilla española, Moet and foie gras, even Moet and a charcuterie board. So, for all you rappers who mention Moet in your songs but have never had it — here's your chance. 11 am to 11 pm.

Ronald L. Jones and Jose Villalobos at Space HL
Space HL will have two art openings on one night. Houston artist Ronald L. Jones will have "On Topic of Race," an open-space investigation that examines the roles we are placed within as individuals with regard to race. As for San Antonio’s Jose Villalobos, he will present his solo exhibit "Gay as an Accessory, Tailored" of new and old works, this show concentrates on the idea that exists that LGBTQ+ individuals are queer by choice, as he recently experienced the same criticism. 6-10 pm.

Houston Shakespeare Festival at Miller Outdoor Theatre
It appears this year’s Houston Shakespeare Festival will use theatrical blood to enhance the dramatic moments on stage during this year’s production of Julius Caesar. Don’t worry — the washable, stain-resistant concoction consists of items you might already have in your home: dish soap, sugar-free chocolate syrup, sesame tahini and non-toxic paint. In addition to that, the UH School of Theatre & Dance will feature the romantic comedy As You Like It. The festival runs through Sunday, August 11. 8:15 pm.

Saturday, August 3

Free Teacher Admission Day at Lone Star Flight Museum
The Lone Star Museum is inviting educators all over the Greater Houston area to take in its awe-inspiring features for a special appreciation day. Among the things to check out: two hangars featuring rare military, commercial and historically important aircraft, the Flight Academy and Texas Aviation Hall of Fame exhibits, and the Aviation Learning Center, complete with flight simulators. Also get information on resources, their field trip program, and much more. Just show your school badge to get in. 9 am to 5 pm.

We Do It for the Love at BauHaus
The DJ/party crew known as Crossroads has found a new venue for We Do It for the Love, their long-running, monthly shindig: BauHaus. Along with Crossroads members Noey Lopez and Sasha Braverman spinning music, the headlining special guest will be JT Donaldson, the Dallas producer/DJ who has lived and created music in some of the country's greatest EDM breeding grounds (Chicago, LA, San Francisco). Jashuwah will also be there doing a warm-up set. 10 pm to 4 am.

Sunday, August 4

Saint Arnold Root Beer Float Day
Saint Arnold is gonna have a Root Beer Float Day! We couldn't be more psyched that the brewing company will be serving root beer floats, along with some special adult variations. Every float purchase will come with a souvenir, root-beer plastic cup. They're also bringing back their "Root Beer Snob" toddler T-shirts and onesies, along with asking for school-supply donations, in partnership with Houston City Council Member Jerry Davis, District B. 11 am to 4 pm.

9 to 5 Movie Party at Alamo Drafthouse LaCenterra
Film critic Jason Shawhan recently called 9 to 5 "an exposé of the institutionalized sexism and corruption that still plague us as a society." Yeah, it's that. But this 1980 comedy is also one of the funniest, feminist revenge fantasies ever made, with the legendary triumvirate of Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, and Dolly Parton taking on their egotistical chauvinist of a boss (Dabney Coleman). BTW, your ticket includes a themed pen and a "cup of ambition" mug. 6 pm.

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Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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weekend event planner

Here are the top 8 things to do in Houston this weekend

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Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

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