In Town

Adam Carolla opens up on A-holes, "white Kardashians" and the Guinness Book ofRecords scam

Adam Carolla will join conservative radio host Dennis Prager for a liveperformance on Friday night.
Adam Carolla/Facebook
"It's really just an autobiography, starting at the beginning and going untilnow — not much more to it than that," Carolla said about his new book.
AdamCarolla.com

Timing is everything when it comes to comedy . . . And sadly, when CultureMap had the chance to interview comedian Adam Carolla, his now-infamous "dudes are funnier than chicks" comment in the New York Post had yet to blow up.

Nevertheless, there were plenty of topics to cover in light of his new book Not Taco Bell Material and current tour with Jewish conservative pundit Dennis Prager — which makes a stop at the House of Blues on Thursday night. And, no worries, the libertarian-leaning radio host lived up to his loud-mouthed reputation with candid opinions on everything from Donald Trump to the Guinness Book of World Records.

CultureMap: How did you end up performing with Dennis Prager?

Adam Carolla: I used to listen to him on the radio when I lived in the San Fernando Valley and always thought he had a lot of wisdom. We'd been on each other's shows recently and thought we'd try to do some sort of speaking thing together. Our first few nights were great and the audiences seemed to dig the whole comedian and straight-man routine.

Dennis has a great sense of humor and will always laugh at my sexual innuendo and fart jokes.

CM: Do you guys prepare material in advance?

AC: With us both having done work on radio, there's no need for a lot of prep. We can both talk for hours without so much as a Post-it. The second half of the show is a Q&A session so the audience feeds us topics, really. It's a format I've done my entire career starting with Loveline. Dr. Drew [Pinsky] and I did something similar on some of our college tours back in the day.

In the Q&A, it's always about the A people — the "A-holes" as I like to call them.

"Donald Trump is exactly like you'd think he'd be, just a totally caricature of himself. His hair's huge and he talks like he's saying the last words you'll ever hear."

CM: So, how was it earning a Guinness Record for having the world's most downloaded podcast?

AC: I honestly thought it'd feel a little better than it did. They basically just give you a plaque, whether you have a popular podcast or you're a guy with tons of facial hair. I really keep meaning to buy the book . . . Actually, you'd think they'd send it to you.

They even make you pay for the guy to fly from London to verify it. I guess they have to, though. Otherwise, every asswipe in the world would be inviting Guinness to their mom's basement to watch them do a podcast. In the end it's a couple grand to get that British tabulator guy out to watch you pogo-stick or whatever.

CM: Got a plug for your new book?

AC: Everyone who writes a book is always like "buy my book, buy my book." People can go to Amazon or iTunes and read the reviews for themselves. It's really just an autobiography, starting at the beginning and going until now — not much more to it than that. I think people will like it.

CM: As a former contestant on The Celebrity Apprentice . . . What's The Donald like?

AC: Donald Trump is exactly like you'd think he'd be, just a totally caricature of himself. His hair's huge and he talks like he's saying the last words you'll ever hear. I don't have anything against him, but I do understand why some people hate him. He kind of makes it work, though. The Trumps are like the white Kardashians, really.

Everyone hates them and nobody knows what they do. They just make a ton of money. He makes a ton and his kids make a ton and we all talk about them. What can I say, they have a solid brand.

Carolla and Prager shows are available on iTunes starting at $4.99. Thus far topics have ranged from Little League and pets to Judaism and parenting. Tickets for his Thursday show at the House of Blues are available here.

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These are the top 14 things to do in Houston this Thanksgiving weekend

Photo by Richard Carson

H-E-B hosts the annual Thanksgiving parade downtown.

Considering everything that’s happened this month, some families may experience an awkward Thanksgiving. Others may want a little time together that's separate from the holiday meal.

Either way, this weekend offers plenty of holiday-themed events. There will be two runs on Turkey Day, as well as the annual Thanksgiving Day Parade. We also have tree lightings, photo opps with Santa, Nutcracker productions, and even a holiday boat cruise.

Read on for this weekend’s best bets.

Thursday, November 28

Houston Turkey Dash
The Houston Turkey Dash will include a half marathon, 10K, 5K, Family 1K, or Kids K. New this year will be a handcycling option so everyone can participate. Awards will be given to the top 3 male/female runners for half marathon, 10K, and 5K. Age group awards will be given to the 1st place winner for half marathon, 10K, and 5K, broken down by 10-year age groups. All finishers will receive a commemorative Houston Turkey Dash Finisher's Medal. All skill levels are welcome, and proceeds support five local nonprofits. 6:45 am.

Saint Arnold Brewing Company presents The TurkeyDay5k
The TurkeyDay5k, presented by Saint Arnold Brewing Company and supporting CoolxDad, is an inclusive family-friendly event featuring a 5k Turkey Trot, 10k Turkey Trot, and 1-Mile Family Walk. Participants will enjoy giveaways and get a T-shirt and medal, along with other prizes. Make your Turkey Trot experience even more meaningful by participating in the 2024 CoolxDad Color Box Toy Drive. Spread holiday cheer by bringing a toy to drop off and help brighten the season for kids in need. 7:30 am.

75th Annual H-E-B Thanksgiving Day Parade
Located in the heart of downtown Houston, this event is one of the oldest Thanksgiving Day parades in the country. Each year, several hundred thousand Houstonians line the streets to cheer on participants. The parade will traverse over 20 city blocks and will feature elaborate floats, colorful marching bands, high-flying balloons, and other uniquely Houston entries. Nine-time gold medalist Carl Lewis will lead the parade to honor Houstonians who competed in the Paris 2024 Olympics and Paralympics. 9 am.

Friday, November 29

The Museum of Fine Arts, Houston presents Notre-Dame Cathedral: An Immersive Experience
At Notre-Dame Cathedral: An Immersive Experience, visitors can step inside a virtual depiction of Paris to experience the entry and interior of the cathedral, as well as the extraordinary effort to restore Notre-Dame after the devastating 2019 fire. In Paris, the iconic Gothic cathedral will reopen to the public on Saturday, December 7. The MFAH is celebrating this historic moment with an immersive experience in the Museum’s spacious Cullinan Hall. Through Sunday, January 5. 11 am.

Buffalo Bayou Partnership presents Holiday Boat Cruise
Buffalo Bayou Partnership will celebrate the season with a festive holiday cruise along Buffalo Bayou. Guests can experience the downtown skyline from the water aboard the holiday-themed pontoon boat, adorned with wintry decorations. As a special treat this year, historic Allen’s Landing will also shine brightly with luminous lights. On the last two weekends, boat tour guests will also experience an up-close view of the new Snow Glow on the Bayou winter installation, organized by Downtown Houston+. Through Sunday, December 29. 11:53 am.

Improv Houston presents Godfrey
While he’s more known these days for doing a killer Steve Harvey impression, Chicago comedian Godfrey has been killing it as a standup for decades now. Godfrey has been seen on stages from New York and Los Angeles to Dubai. Along with his own one-hour special on Comedy Central, Godfrey has onscreen credits which include Zoolander, 30 Rock, Soul Plane, and the TruTV series Upload, where he starred alongside Shaquille O'Neal. 7:30 & 9:45 pm (7 & 9:30 pm Saturday: 7:30 pm Sunday).

Usher in concert
It can’t be denied that Usher has been having a great run as a live performer. You never know who’s gonna show up and join him on-stage: Gary Clark, Jr., Tyrese, Kevin Hart – they’ve all popped up on his latest tour for a surprise guest shot. But the R&B great gives audiences the same interactive love that made his Vegas residency a must-see show, especially when he hits the crowd carrying a bowl full of cherries. Usher will do Friday and Saturday-night shows in support of his new album, Coming Home. 8 pm.

Saturday, November 30

CityCentre presents Holiday in the Plaza
Visit and take photos with Santa and two of his reindeer during Holiday in the Plaza, presented by Sewell Cadillac. Dance to holiday classics with performances by the Houston Show Choir at noon, 2:30, and 4 pm. When Santa is not behind his sleigh, he drives a Cadillac. Help CityCentre spread joy to others and fill Santa’s Cadillac with new, unwrapped toys to be donated in exchange for a complimentary picture with Santa. Guests are encouraged to arrive early as line times may vary for photos with Santa. 11 am.

Houston Ballet presents The Nutcracker
Although it’s not the only Nutcracker game popping off this weekend, Houston Ballet will once again present Stanton Welch’s The Nutcracker, a holiday tradition. After the annual Stahlbaum Christmas party, audiences will embark on a journey through the dazzling Land of Snow to the radiant and jubilant Kingdom of Sweets alongside Clara, Drosselmeyer, and the Prince. They will reunite with the Sugar Plum Fairy amidst the clouds, where true magic unfolds. Through Sunday, December 29. 2 & 7:30 pm (1 & 6:30 pm Sunday).

The Post Oak Hotel presents Christmas Tree Lighting and Holiday Chalet
Kick off the holiday season in the Post Oak Hotel lobby for a spectacular Christmas tree lighting, including festive beverages and an atmosphere designed for the perfect holiday photos with family and friends. Enjoy musical performances and a special guest appearance from the North Pole. You can also discover the perfect snowy chalet at Stella's Wine Bar. Enjoy a cozy s’mores station while sipping on one of many holiday-themed cocktails or glass of wine. Reserve a table here. Through Thursday, December 31. 5 pm.

Houston Symphony presents "Beethoven’s Emperor Concerto"
Massive in scale and visionary in scope, Beethoven’s Emperor Concerto redefined what a piano concerto could be, reaching dazzling new heights unsurpassed to this day. Piano powerhouse Yefim Bronfman performs the masterpiece in a program also featuring Schubert’s ever-popular Unfinished Symphony. Escape the Black Friday-weekend stress and share beautiful music with family and friends. 7:30 pm (2 pm Sunday).

Sunday, December 1

Rice Village presents Farmers Market’s Holiday Bash + 4th Anniversary Celebration
At Rice Village Farmers Market's Holiday Bash + 4th Anniversary Celebration, attendees can meet Santa and snap a picture in one of four holiday-themed, Instagrammable spots. They can also enjoy music from Grandma’s Boyfriends Carolers and a DJ, a craft table, face painter, and holiday vendors. You can also donate a toy or make a monetary donation to Toys for Tots. There will be two Marines onsite collecting these donations. And yes, there will be snow. 9 am.

The Pit Room Memorial presents Houston Texas Gameday Watch Party
The Pit Room is getting into the gameday spirit with a Texans vs. Jaguars watch party at its Memorial location. Open to all ages with free entry, this party will feature appearances from Toro, Texans Cheerleaders, Texans Legends, plus festive decor and more. The Pit Room menu includes a variety of gameday classics in addition to their signature barbecue including chicken wings, brisket egg rolls, pulled pork nachos, BBQ burgers, and wood-grilled hot dogs — perfect for enjoying while watching the game on one of the spot’s 27 flat screen televisions. 11 am.

Ensemble Theatre presents Twelve Ways of Christmas
The Twelve Ways of Christmas reminds viewers that, while the season may mean something different from one person to the next, the true message remains the same. With an eclectic blend of colorful jazz, R&B, and gospel, Twelve Ways guides us to the heart of the most memorable holiday experiences. Love prevails throughout this fusion of fun, joy, loneliness, jealousy and grief with twelve “ways,” including Romantic Christmas, Military Christmas, Family Christmas, and True Christmas. Through Sunday, December 22. 3 pm.

Photo by Richard Carson

H-E-B hosts the annual Thanksgiving parade downtown.

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