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    Bracket racket

    In the Games of Thrones finale, it's dragons and ice zombies for the win

    Tarra Gaines
    Jun 4, 2012 | 6:00 am

    Game of Thrones' cast may be the largest on television, but most of the second season was filled with characters wandering aimlessly or shut in rooms for intense one-on-one yammering between sworn enemies and/or close family members, who were sometimes one and the same.

    As the potential rulers clashed, oblivious to the dangers of the coming winter and the monsters of the North, the HBO epic's second season felt like a rearranging of the deck chairs on the Titanic, only to find after the frenzied deck redecorating all the chairs wound up exactly where they began.

    There were so many plots and clashes this season, maybe this is not one game of thrones but a tournament. So let’s fill out the bracket sheet and see who's ahead in the second round.

    The Lannisters still rule Westeros. Danenerys Targaryen is stuck in Essos as her dragons grow. Robb Stark is winning his side of the Westeros wars. Stannis Baratheon is still a man without a throne or a sense of humor. The Stark children are scattered to the winds, and Arya is still cooler than her older brothers.

    Tyrion Lannister is the smartest and most underappreciated guy in any room. And the Night’s Watch army is wandering the land north of the Wall searching for a clue as to what the hell is going on up there.

    Only in the final minutes of the last episode did ever-a-sidekick Samwell Tarly find that clue in the shape of a massive zombie horde and White Walker, zombie-horse-riding masters.

    Nevertheless, there were so many plots and clashes this season, maybe this is not one game of thrones but a tournament. So let’s fill out the bracket sheet and see who's ahead in the second round.

    Renly Baratheon vs. Stannis Baratheon
    Winner: Stannis
    Besides fighting each other, the brothers of dead king Robert Baratheon were both involved with fertility plots. In a quest for an heir, Renly was lying back and thinking of Westeros as he attempted to impregnate boyfriend Loras Tyrell’s sister. Meanwhile, sex on a giant map with weird Red Priestess Melisandre conceived for Stannis a magical shadow baby who grew up fast and killed Renly.

    I’ll miss you Renly. Your bedroom-comedy scenes were some of the only few minutes of fun we got early in the season.

    Robb Stark vs. Tywin Lannister
    Winner: Robb
    Tywin was fighting two fronts this season, which gave Robb the edge initially; however, since viewers only saw the back end of some skirmishes, we’ll have to take the show’s word for this win.

    Stannis Baratheon vs. Joffrey Baratheon
    Winner: Joffrey
    King Joffrey, bastard son of Queen Cersei and her twin brother Jaime, won this seasons' sole spectacular on-screen battle, the Battle of Blackwater. The psychopathic and idiotic Joffrey took the glory for himself but won this round only thanks to his uncle Tyrion’s brains, his grandfather Tywin’s army, and an angry and grieving Loras Tyrell.

    Theon Greyjoy vs. Bran and Rickon Stark
    Winner: Brothers Stark
    Theon managed to bash down the doors and take Winterfell, using only his twin weapons of massive daddy issues and low self esteem. Yet by the end Bran, Rickon and their dire wolves made it out alive while Theon got hit over the head and shoved in a sack by his own men. My theory is that one day my favorite, 6-year-old Rickon, will vanquish all these other drama queens and kings and rule Westeros with his iron nut-cracking fist.

    Danenerys Targaryen vs. Plotlessness
    Winner: Dany by a dragon’s breath
    Dany spent half the season wandering around the desert and the other half looking for a ride to Westeros and turning down marriage proposals. Somewhere in the middle she must have made time for a spa day because her hair is perfect once more. After her baby dragons were kidnapped, she wandered around a hallucinogenic tower, did battle with some magician monks, shoved her double-crossing potential fiancé to his empty treasure vault, and took all his goldware. Plotlessness lies bleeding and defeated in her wake.

    Whores vs. Cartographers
    Winner: Whores, because maps don’t exist in Westeros except as tables for conceiving shadow babies.
    I understand HBO doesn’t have the money to stage a Blackwater-sized battle every episode, but I’d trade one or all scenes of the girls from Littlefinger’s best little whorehouse in Westeros for five minutes of Robb or Tywin talking to advisors while pushing model soldiers across a map. I’m beginning to resent having to consult the HBO online guide just to know where characters are located or what battles have been waged off-screen.

    Tyrion Lannister vs. Ennui
    Winner: Tyrion, by a nose.
    Once Ned Stark died and Sean Bean exited the show, Game of Thrones became the property of Peter Dinklage and his Tyrion Lannister. The character’s intellect and the actor’s prowess were sometimes the only bit of light in each dark episode populated by some very unpleasant characters. He makes wading through the endless palace intrigue and wars worth it for those of us who want more zombie hordes, dragons, and dire wolves in our War of the Roses reenactments.

    But by the last episode even Tyrion’s sword sharp wit has dulled by the direness of this game. I know your pretty, pretty snarking face has been scarred, but don’t let the bastards drive you down, Tyrion. You're still the only one having fun in this muddy mess.

    Jon (Dead Ned’s bastard) Snow vs. A Hell of a Lot of Snow
    Winner: Snow
    While Season Two remained tightly focused on the players in the game, the real threat north of the wall was shrouded in snowy mystery until the final few minutes. A former night’s watchman has declared himself king of the Wildlings but he stayed annoyingly off-screen the whole season. Finally a blizzard brought in proof that the show’s promise that "winter is coming" is indeed a threat.

    Ggood luck to the ice zombie hordes as they move up to the third round of the Game of Thrones. I'm rooting for the defeated cartographers to draw them a map straight to Joffrey’s brain.

    unspecified
    news/entertainment

    RIP, Chuck

    Actor Chuck Norris, star of 'Walker, Texas Ranger,' dies at 86

    Associated Press
    Mar 20, 2026 | 10:30 am
    Chuck Norris
    Courtesy photo
    Chuck Norris, star of "Walker, Texas Ranger," has died at 86.

    Chuck Norris, the martial arts grandmaster and action star whose roles in “Walker, Texas Ranger” and other television shows and movies made him an iconic tough guy — sparking internet parodies and adoration from presidents — has died at 86.

    Norris died Thursday, in what his family described as a “sudden passing.”

    “While we would like to keep the circumstances private, please know that he was surrounded by his family and was at peace,” the family said in a statement posted to social media.

    Before he would become a star in movies and on TV, Norris was wildly successful in competitive martial arts. He was a six-time undefeated World Professional Middleweight Karate champion. He also founded his own Korean-based American hard style of karate, known sometimes as Chun Kuk Do, and the United Fighting Arts Federation, which has awarded more than 3,300 Chuck Norris System black belts worldwide. Black Belt magazine ultimately credited Norris in its hall of fame with holding a 10th degree black belt, the highest possible honor.

    Born Carlos Ray Norris in Ryan, Oklahoma, on March 10, 1940, he grew up poor. At age 12, he moved with his family to Torrance, California, and joined the U.S. Air Force after high school, in 1958. It was during a deployment to Korea that he started training in martial arts, including judo and Tang Soo Do.

    “I went out for gymnastics and football at North Torrance high,” he told The Associated Press in 1982. “I played some football, but I also spent a lot of time on the bench. I was never really athletic until I was in the service in Korea.”

    After he was honorably discharged in 1962, he worked as a file clerk for Northrop Aircraft and applied to be a police officer, but was put on a waitlist. Meanwhile, he opened a martial arts studio, which expanded to a chain, with students including such stars as Bob Barker, Priscilla Presley, Donnie and Marie Osmond, and Steve McQueen, whom he later credited with encouraging him to get into acting.

    From one studio to another
    Norris made his film debut as an uncredited bodyguard in the 1968 movie “The Wrecking Crew,” which included a fight with Dean Martin. He had also crossed paths with Bruce Lee in martial arts circles. Their friendship — sometimes, as sparring partners — led to an iconic faceoff in the 1972 movie “Return of the Dragon,” in which Lee fights and kills Norris' character in Rome's Colosseum.

    He went on to act in more than 20 movies, such as “Missing in Action,” “The Delta Force” and “Sidekicks.”

    “I wanted to project a certain image on the screen of a hero. I had seen a lot of anti-hero movies in which the lead was neither good nor bad. There was no one to root for,” Norris said in 1982.

    In 1993, he took on his most famed role, as a crime-fighting lawman in TV's “Walker, Texas Ranger.” The show ran for nine seasons, and in 2010, then-Gov. Rick Perry awarded him the title of honorary Texas Ranger. The Texas Senate later named him an honorary Texan.

    “It’s not violence for violence’s sake, with no moral structure,” Norris told the AP in 1996, speaking about the show. “You try to portray the proper meaning of what it’s about — fighting injustice with justice, good vs. bad. … It’s entertaining for the whole family.”

    Norris also made a surprise comedic appearance as a decisive judge in the final match of the 2004 movie “Dodgeball.” He only on occasion has taken acting roles in recent years, including 2012's “The Expendables 2” and the 2024 sci-fi action movie “Agent Recon.” He's due to appear in “Zombie Plane,” an upcoming film starring Vanilla Ice.

    Chuck Norris: the man, the meme, the legend
    It was around the time of “Dodgeball” that his toughman image became the stuff of legend, literally: “Chuck Norris Facts” went viral online with such wildly hyperbolic statements as, “Chuck Norris had a staring contest with the sun -- and won,” and, “They wanted to put Chuck Norris on Mt. Rushmore, but the granite wasn’t tough enough for his beard.”

    Norris ultimately embraced the absurdity of the meme craze, putting together “The Official Chuck Norris Fact Book,” which combined his favorites with supposedly true stories and the codes he aimed to live by. He would also write books on martial arts instruction, a memoir, political takes, Civil War-era historical fiction and more.

    “To some who know little of my martial arts or film careers but perhaps grew up with 'Walker, Texas Ranger,' it seems that I have become a somewhat mythical superhero icon,” Norris wrote in the forward to the fact book. “I am flattered and humbled.”

    That book raised money for a nonprofit he founded with President George H.W. Bush that promoted martial arts instruction for kids.

    The intentionally outlandish statements featured in the 2008 Republican presidential primary, when Norris endorsed Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and shot an ad playing on the “Chuck Norris facts.”

    President Donald Trump's supporters later promoted Trump Facts in the same vein, and political pundits tried it as well, describing the commander-in-chief's decision to seize Venezuela's sitting president, Nicolas Maduro, as a “Chuck Norris Moment,” and its initial effect on oil prices a “Chuck Norris Premium.”

    Norris was outspoken about his Christian beliefs and his support for gun rights, and backed political candidates for years — he even went skydiving with Bush for the former president's 80th birthday. As for Trump, Norris endorsed him in the 2016 general election and wrote guest columns praising him without explicitly endorsing him the in the days before the 2020 and 2024 elections.

    Norris has five surviving children: stunt performers Mike and Eric with his late ex-wife Dianne Holechek, twins Dakota and Danilee with his wife Gena Norris, and Dina, the result of an early 1960s “one-night stand” revealed in his autobiography.

    Norris celebrated his birthday just over a week before his death, posting a sparring video on Instagram.

    “I don't age. I level up,” he wrote.

    celebritieschuck norrisdeathsobituary
    news/entertainment

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