Name: Sweetie, as in Sweetie the Clown. I once hired Sweetie for my son’s 4th birthday party. She was the life of the party, played games, did a magic trick, treated the kids with respect, and never lost her patience (which I did five minutes in).

The thing that shocked me the most about this party? I was supposed to give gifts to the kids who attended. This is how things are done in the Bizarro World, where the motto is “Us do opposite of all Earthly things.” Back to this week’s pooch.

Birthdate: July 28, 2018. I’m a tad older than one year, so I’m out of my puppy year. But I swear, when I wag my tail, I can pass for 10 months. I still get carded at the shelter’s biscuit bar.

Ethnicity: I'm a total girly girl. I'm listed as a Terrier mix, pending the results of my DNA genealogy test. I was picked up as a stray, so not a whole lot is known about me. I must’ve dropped my wallet and ID somewhere trying to stay alive.

But, now that I’m at the shelter with the incredible Citizens for Animal Protection staff, I’m back on my feet. (By the way, do you know why dogs make terrible dancers? It’s because they have two left feet. I crack me up. C'mon, that's a pretty good joke, considering I'm a dog.)

Anyway, here’s my deal. I’m pretty much housebroken, but I may need a gentle reminder to go outside. As for my disposition, hey, they didn’t name me Sweetie here at the shelter because I’m a mean junkyard dog. I’m a cuddler, gentle and loving. I'm 38 pounds of snuggly joy. Not to be immodest, but ain’t I the cutie?

One important factor: I’ve got to be the only dog in the house. Best news of all, I’m running a special on me, this week I’m 50 percent off the regular adoption fee. But I’ll still be spayed, groomed, and checked out by a top local veterinarian. I could be the best deal at CAP all year.

Come and get me: I'm available for adoption at 11 am Friday, September 13, at Citizens for Animal Protection (17555 Katy Freeway; 281-497-0591). Tell them, "Ken sent me."

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Dog lover? Ken Hoffman introduces you to an adorable pup available for adoption in Houston every Thursday.