Name: Lucky, as in underrated gangster Lucky Luciano, and your grandfather's favorite cigarette, Lucky Strike — you know, gramps who had emphysema.
Birthdate: January 12, 2015. I'm right smack dab in the prime of my life. Because I'm a li'l one, I'll still probably outlive you.
Ethnicity: I'm a Maltipoo, a fine combo of Maltese and toy poodle. I weigh a smidge over nine pounds, but I'm feisty. I'm incredibly sweet and playful, and I love to go on walks and play with all ages of children and grownups.
I'm good with other dogs, too. I'm housebroken and because of my genetic makeup, I'm hypoallergenic, so you sneezers have no excuse not to adopt me. I'm "fixed," groomed, and given an A-plus for health by a real veterinarian. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to hop on my soap box for a moment.
Because this is Dog Month (just another phony fake holiday), I received a list of statistics about dogs in America. Seems like 85 million homes now have a dog as a pet. Yippee, that's great news. Then came a stat that drove me up a wall. The average cost of a new dog is $253.
Here's the deal, a new dog at Citizens for Animal Protection, or another homeless dog shelter, is less than $100. Don't go wasting your money on an expensive pedigree dog that costs $2,000 and is going to break down physically because its DNA has been purified to the point where the poor thing's hips will bust one day.
Mutts are a thousand times better pets than pedigrees. We're healthier and live longer and will bring absolute love into your life. California has the right idea: shops can only sell homeless dogs. Mutts are great. I'm a mutt. America is made up of mutts. Mutts make us stronger. Adopt a mutt. I swear your life will be made better.
Come and get me: I'm available for adoption at 11 am Friday, August 30, at Citizens for Animal Protection (17555 Katy Freeway; 281-497-0591). Tell them, "Ken sent me."
Dog lover? Ken Hoffman introduces you to an adorable pup available for adoption in Houston every Thursday.