Grandmas who could pancake you
Don't call it the old people Olympics: Houston gears up for the Senior Games
Next June 16-30, 15,000 individuals will descend upon 10 Houston-area venues, with George R. Brown Convention Center at the forefront. And all of these people will be over the age of 50.
Mind you, Air Supply and Creedence Clearwater Revival won't be in town, as far as we know. We're also not being invaded by retirees demanding their Social Security checks. But Houston will have the privilege of playing host to the 2011 Summer National Senior Games.
Before you get all ageist on us, just remember, these quinquagenarians (and older!) can probably kick your couch potato butt in 18 medal competitions (and two demonstration sports). And because this is the Olympics, of course, there'll even be an Olympic-style torch run and flame arrival ceremony.
So how does a seasoned sports person qualify for such an event? According to the National Senior Games Association, athletes earn the honor of competing by dominating at their respective NSGA State Games. And here you thought age was the only requirement.
"We look forward to welcoming America’s senior athletes with open arms," Mayor Annise Parker said at a press conference that began a year-long countdown toward the games. “Houston has been down this road before, and we know how to put on major sporting events."
At this point, it should be pretty clear that you're not allowed to laugh or snicker at someone who could flatten you into a pancake. But you are allowed to think the grandma soccer huddle in the video is pretty darn cute. And you do have our permission to be envious of that pole vaulter's abs.