This week, I reached out for a basket of Chicken and Biscuits, new from America's favorite soft serve palace, Dairy Queen, with 6,800 restaurants nationwide, and 593 spots in the Lone Star State.
Here's the Chicken and Biscuits breakdown: four of DQ's traditional breaded and deep-fried chicken strips, seven mini-biscuits, fries, and your choice of dipping sauce. This is DQ, you're going to pick either country gravy or ranch. Total calories: 1,100. Fat grams: 55. Sodium: 3,130 mg. Carbs: 114 g. Dietary fiber: 1 g. Protein: 38 g. Manufacturer's suggested retail price: $6.99.
While Chicken and Biscuits, a Southern classic, is promoted nationally as a limited-time-only special, it may not be available at your local DQ, so you might want to call first. All Dairy Queens in Texas have closed their dining rooms, but are serving day and night in their drive-throughs.
Dairy Queen's Chicken and Biscuits are an affront to every diet ever devised, definitely not for the faint of heart, or most other organs. This is a ton of calories, fat, sodium, carbs, and whatever. On the other hand, like most everything on the DQ menu, man, does this taste amazing, especially if you're bored of eating good home-cooked meals during the coronavirus lockdown. Chicken and biscuits are Top 10 on the comfort food chart.
Also, congratulations are in order for the Brownie Dough Blizzard for being named DQ's coveted "Blizzard of the Month." Try this on for size, the Brownie Dough Blizzard is packed with brownie dough bits, chocolate chunks and cocoa fudge. I need a place to lie down.
Dairy Queen is such an institution in the Lone Star State that the roadside dessert carts are called "Texas stop signs." They're, like, everywhere in Texas.
Except near my spring/summer home in West U. The nearest Dairy Queen is a haul, up 59 to 610 to I-10 to 6707 Westview Dr. This is not helping my property value.
Here's my history with that Dairy Queen location. When I got my first job in Houston — I had never been to Houston before — I called a real estate agent to show me some rent houses. Sunday morning, he showed me a house on Westview, near Gessner.
I looked around the neighborhood, whoa, there's a Dairy Queen on this street. I love Blizzards and Dilly Bars, and DQ's burgers are very underrated. But wait, I've heard that Houston traffic is a nightmare. How long will it take me to drive to the (now) Houston Chronicle building? The real estate person said, "Let's get in the car and see."
It took us less than 10 minutes. I said, "I'll take the house." The next morning, Monday, a work day, it took me more than an hour to get to work. The day my lease expired on Westview, I moved closer to civilization, at least closer to my job.
Love Dairy Queen, hate traffic more.
Ken Hoffman reviews a new fast food restaurant item every Wednesday. Have a suggestion or a drive-thru favorite? Let Ken know on Twitter.