sweet skies?

Ken Hoffman on the controversial new United Airlines snack switch

United Airlines flight attendant stewardess cabin customer

"Thanks, but I'll just have the controversial snack, please."

Photo courtesy of United Airlines

Biscoff cookies are now the Boeing 737 Max of complimentary in-flight snacks at United — officially grounded. United Airlines is replacing Biscoff cookies with Oreo Thins starting next month.

You can hear the cheers of United customers over the roar of its jet engines. Oreos — be they regular, skinny, sugar-free, double, triple, and even quadruple stuf'ed (one "f") — are America's favorite cookie and no other cookie is even close.

Oreos were invented in 1912 in New York City as an almost identical answer to Hydrox chocolate sandwich cookies, which hit store shelves four years earlier. To be honest, I would have thought it was the other way around, Oreos first, Hydrox the copycat. As comedian Gary Gulman says in his 12-minute analysis of the cookie industry, Hydrox are the cookies your mom buys at the supermarket when she isn’t paying attention.

A cookie uproar
United's ditching of Biscoff cookies has riled some frequent fliers on Twitter, the complaint window of social media. They’re actually threatening to fly other airlines over the Biscoff departure, which is listed "on time," unlike some other United flights.

Of course, the cookie whiners are just venting, keyboard bluffing, like some baseball fans are saying they won’t attend Astros games because of the cheating scandal. You know something? I may go to more games now. I like theater of the absurd ... and dollar dogs. I’m definitely flying to New York, most likely on United if I find a good fare, to watch the Astros play the Yankees in The Bronx. I will not wear my Astros hat. I don’t want to ride back to Manhattan on the No. 1 train drenched with beer and hearing that my mother had loose morals.

How they crumble
Oreo Thins are lighter on calories than regular Oreos and Biscoff cookies. Four Thins have 140 calories. Three regular Oreos have 160 calories. Two Biscoffs pack 120 calories. You crunch the numbers for the smart play. Oreo Thins have the same wafer-to-filling ratio as regular Oreos, so the flavor experiences is supposed to be the same. United is continuing to carry its other complimentary snacks: pretzels and Stroopwafels, the Dutch cookie treat recently co-opted by McDonald’s for its McFlurry lineup.

Fun fact: In 2009, Peyton and Eli Manning faced Serena and Venus Williams in an Oreo-licking contest for a TV commercial. The Mannings went on to complete football Hall of Fame careers (don't argue with me, Eli is getting in). The Williams still are playing, still re-writing the tennis history book. In 2010, Donald Trump shot a commercial for Oreo. Not sure whatever became of him.

I’m not a big Oreo guy — regular, Thins or Double Stuff. I find them too crumbly and dry. I'm told that Oreos are the ideal cookie for dunking in milk, but I don't drink milk, because I’m a grownup. My favorite vehicle for Oreos is cookies ‘n’ cream ice cream or a Dairy Queen Blizzard.

One warning for in-flight Oreo consumers. Thins are not made for twisting apart and licking the filling. The wafer is crispier than a regular Oreo, so it might crumble onto your lap, which can be a nuisance, especially on a plane.

To recline or not recline
Oh, and just for the record: The guy shouldn’t have punched the back of that woman’s seat. That’s just crazy, approaching violent behavior. Don't be stupid or dangerous. But reclining your seat on a plane is rude, unless you want the person behind you to perform dental work on you. This one is easy, don’t recline.

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Documentary News

Netflix series Waco: American Apocalypse debuts with newly unearthed footage

Waco: American Apocalypse

ATF agents at Waco compound in 1993.

Netflix has a new series on the tragedy that took place in Waco three decades ago: Called Waco: American Apocalypse, it's a three-part series documenting the standoff between cult leader David Koresh and the federal government that ended in a fiery inferno, televised live, with 76 people dead.

The series debuts on March 22, to coincide with the 30-year anniversary of the event which took place from February 28 to April 19, 1993.

It's an oft-told tale and not the only new release to try and exploit the 30-year anniversary: Jeff Guinn, former books editor at the Fort Worth Star Telegram, just came out with a book in January, also described as definitive, called Waco: David Koresh, the Branch Davidians, and a Legacy of Rage.

Waco: American Apocalypse is directed by another Texan: Dallas native Tiller Russell (Night Stalker: The Hunt for a Serial Killer), who obtained never-before-seen videotapes of FBI negotiations, as well as raw news footage and interviews with insiders.

Those insiders include one of David Koresh’s spiritual wives; the last child released from the compound alive; a sniper from the FBI Hostage Rescue Team; the FBI Crisis Negotiation Unit Chief; journalists; and members of the ATF tactical team who watched colleagues die in the shootout against the heavily armed members of the religious sect.

The FBI videotaped inside the hostage negation room, thinking they'd be there maybe 24 hours, not 51 days.

"These are video cassettes that were sitting in somebody’s closet for 30 years, that show the mechanics of hostage negotiations in an intimate setting - not the hostage negotiation scenarios you see in films, but a team of people grinding, day in and day out, for 51 days," Russell says.

He also procured footage from Waco TV station KWTX, who had a reporter embedded in the initial gunfight.

While the standoff was broadcast live on TV at the time, much of it was out of camera range. The film uses 3D graphics to recreate the details of the compound.

Russell acknowledges that the tale of the cult leader who was also a pedophile, the debate over the right to bear arms, the constitutional limits of religious freedom, dredge up painful conversations that continue today.

"It cast a long shadow, pre-saging the Timothy McVeigh bombing in Oklahoma, the shooting at Colombine, and a growing distrust of government, but I think it's important to reckon with our past so we don't repeat mistakes," he says.

"So much of what’s roiling in culture today can be traced to Waco, a story about God and guns in America with all these children at the center whose lives were determined by the adults around them," he says. "There was no playbook for what happened, everyone was out on a limb, and people made mistakes. But almost everybody was trying to do their very best."

"I think this is a story that's often recalled in politicized terms, with finger-pointing on who screwed up and how did we get here, but there's a profound humanity to it all," he says.

Watch the trailer below:

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