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    Worst Valentine's Day Gifts Ever

    The Worst Valentine's Day Gifts Ever: These love duds squash any sexy thoughts — and guarantee a cold night

    Elizabeth Rhodes
    Feb 14, 2014 | 7:02 am

    Valentine's Day gives you the perfect opportunity to tell your special someone how you feel, but many people still mess it up. In spectacular fashion.

    Here's a list of the worst Valentine's Day gifts anyone's likely to receive. Hopefully, your beau didn't make one of these blunders.

    1. "Bittersweets" Candies

    Forget the playful Sweethearts of your youth. Bittersweets are the perfect way to tell your loved one that things aren't as great as they may seem (and things are really, in fact, over between you two). With messages like "No Mon No Fun," "Tradin U In" and (perhaps the best) "Dog Is Cuter," you can let your (not so) special someone know that they will be having a lonely Valentine's, likely spent eating these tasty, mean-spirited candies.

    2. $20 Dinner for Two at IKEA

    Don't get me wrong: IKEA food has its place. Unfortunately, it isn't for dinner on Valentine's Day.

    Spending all day in the mecca of affordable Scandinavian furniture is fine, just so long as it isn't "the most romantic day of the year" and I'm not forced to eat an unbelievably cheap and rather terrible three-course meal in a food court full of screaming children.

    3. Sugar-Free Chocolates

    Unless you're buying them for your diabetic grandmother, a box of sugar-free chocolates sends the wrong message to nearly any recipient. Let's choose not to make our loved ones think they should lose some weight on this special day.

    Remember: It's Valentine's Day and all diets take that day off.

    4. Moss of the Month Club (Six Month Membership)

    Ask yourself: Does my special someone love moss? Do they love moss enough to receive it monthly for six months? If you answered "yes," then the "Moss of the Month Club" six-month membership is just what you need!

    Not only is the gift completely useless and strange, but it's a great deal since for a one-time payment of only $50, you get $60 to $90 worth of moss and lichens.

    5. Valentine's-Themed Boxers

    Just think about it this way: Your boyfriend/husband is not going to want anything to do with heart-emblazoned boxers, no matter the holiday. Also, what use are candy hearts on boxers after Valentine's is over?

    6. Alessi Figure I Valentini Figurine by Marcello Jori and LPWK

    Show your loved one just how much you care with this (not at all scary) bald, conjoined figurine. This strange kiss caught in porcelain truly says it all — if you're trying to be a creep on Valentine's.

    7. Gym Membership

    So your girlfriend/boyfriend has repeatedly said they want to join a gym. Now is (absolutely) not the time to indulge this wish. Let's try to keep self-esteem high on this special day (which also means avoiding all fitness-related items like workout wear and weights).

    8. Chocolate Covered Fortune Cookies

    When spending $30 on 12 cookies, they probably shouldn't consist of bland (but pretty) sprinkles and cheap milk chocolate on the tasteless cookies that come with your take-out.

    Unlike the adorable messages on Sweethearts, Bittersweets negative comments — ranging from "Booty 2 Big" to "U Left Seat Up" — will have anyone mad at you.

    Bittersweets Candies
    Despair.com
    Unlike the adorable messages on Sweethearts, Bittersweets negative comments — ranging from "Booty 2 Big" to "U Left Seat Up" — will have anyone mad at you.
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    This Week's Hot Headlines

    French pastry chef picks Houston for U.S. debut and more top stories

    CultureMap Staff
    Dec 20, 2025 | 11:00 am
    Cafe Feuillette Jean-François Feuillette
    Photo by Sébastien Dray
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    Editor's note: It's time to look back at the top Houston news of the week, beginning with a French cafe's upcoming U.S. debut. Plus, inside the hottest new bar in the Heights. Catch up on our most popular stories below, then visit this guide for festive weekend fun.

    1. French pastry chef perks up Houston with first U.S. coffee shop and café. A French coffee shop and cafe is coming to Houston. Pastry chef Jean-François Feuillette will open the first U.S. location of Café Feuillette in River Oaks District next year.

    2. New Houston cocktail bar serves up a house party fueled by music and martinis. It hasn’t taken long for Houston cocktail fans to discover Donna’s. Since it opened Thanksgiving weekend, the new cocktail bar in the Heights has been packed with people eager to check out the project from Anvil owner Bobby Heugel and veteran Houston bartender Jacki Schromm.

    3. New York Times critic awards Houston restaurant 2 stars in glowing review. Let’s just call 2025 the year of ChòpnBlọk. In a review published December 16, the New York Times awarded the Houston restaurant two stars (“very good”).

    4. Family-friendly Houston restaurant picks Missouri City for 6th location. A family-friendly Houston restaurant will soon open its sixth location. Local Table is expected to open in Missouri City in January.

    Coming soon to Missouri City. houston.culturemap.com

    5. Food experts draft the best dishes at Vietnamese restaurants in Houston. On this episode of “What’s Eric Eating,” CultureMap editor Eric Sandler recruited five of his friends and colleagues to select their favorite dishes at Vietnamese restaurants in Houston via a fantasy football-style draft.

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