No time is better for reflection than the new year. I made a few mistakes in 2010 and have some resolutions to guide my romantic endeavors. Peruse my list to avoid making similar blunders. At the very least, take it from me and don't date a homeless man.

1. Start locking my phone.

Guys who snoop are the pits. Don’t even allow the possibility.

Once a dude screamed at me because I’d been texting “some guy named Brian” too much. “I know about you and Brian!” he shouted.

Um, Brian is my brother.

2. Dump any guy who doesn’t take care of his pets.

A man who fails to clean up after his own cat will make a lousy boyfriend.

3. When unable or unwilling to dump the guy who doesn’t take care of his pet at least make him pay me back for the Advantage flea treatment.

That stuff is seriously expensive.

4. Stop seeing dudes who, deep down, I really can't stand.

It doesn't matter if my friends love him and he's rich and perfect and splits his free time between volunteering in a burn ward for orphans and playing bass in the next big indie band. If I can't stand him, I can't stand him.

Best cut him loose lest risk ruining him for everyone else. Stringing someone along for months only to tell him "its not you, it's me"— this is exactly how a good man becomes an asshole.

5. Refrain from making degrading nicknames for boys I'm seeing.

e.g. Special K, Moneybags, Druggie, etc.

6. When I’ve failed at Resolution No. 5 because it’s impossible, at least have the courtesy to refrain from calling them their degrading nicknames to their faces.

7. Refuse to tolerate any negative comments about my body.

I don’t care if he’s “teasing,” it’s just not healthy for anyone to hear negative remarks about their physique from the person who’s supposed to like seeing them naked.

(Still, don’t use this as an excuse to let yourself go in a relationship. That’s just unfair to your partner.)

As soon as the word 'fat' comes out of his mouth scold him like a bad dog. "No. NO! BAD! BAD BOYFRIEND. NO!"

8. Recognize that my friends like and respect a guy according to how much he likes and respects me.

If they hate his guts, guess what...

9. Don’t date any more homeless men.

Vagabonds are romantic and everything, but homeless is homeless. Being “in between apartments” is no excuse. Besides, hooking up on his best friend’s couch is not classy at all. Those cushions smell like beer and old nachos, and you know it's never been washed.

10. Avoid dating guys who have girlfriends or who are "in the process" of breaking up with their girlfriends.

Not because it's wrong or anything. Mostly it's just a royal pain in the ass. Dating a guy clawing his way out of a failed relationship is a lot like encountering a wreck on the highway. You know, at first you’re wondering, “Why the hell are we moving so slow?!” Then you see it and morbid curiosity gets the best of you. You’re rubber-necking and looking for blood. Next you’re stricken with pity and sort of want to do something to help but ultimately decide that’s totally crazy and totally not your job.

Then you’re just pissed, rolling your eyes and muttering, “People need to learn how to drive.”

But when you’re past it all you look back with relief, “Glad I’m out of that clusterfuck!”