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    HOU-K salute

    Ken Hoffman crashes VIP Platinum Jubilee party and discovers surprising Queen Elizabeth II fact

    Ken Hoffman
    Jun 6, 2022 | 1:55 pm
    British Cosul General Richard Hyde and The Queen.
    British Cosul General Richard Hyde and The Queen.
    Photo by Joffre Camacho Square Foot Photography

    We’ve heard the fun facts about Queen Elizabeth who just celebrated her Platinum Jubilee — 70 years on the throne. Now 96, she is the longest-reigning monarch ever in Great Britain.

    She’s outlasted 14 British prime ministers, 13 U.S. presidents, six popes and one Dave Ward on ABC13.

    She has two birthdays: She was born on April 21, 1926, but her “official” birthday is celebrated in June when the snow finally melts in Great Britain.

    She is the only person who’s allowed to drive in Great Britain without a license. She’s also travels the world without a passport. She’s hosted more than 1.5 million guests at receptions, banquets, dinners and garden parties at Buckingham Palace.

    But last week, Her Majesty’s Consul General Richard Hyde shared with me what has to be the most amazing fact of all about (deep breath, ready?): Elizabeth II, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.

    Yes, that’s her official title.

    A silent monarch
    During her unprecedented seven decades on the throne, Queen Elizabeth has not given a single interview — not for Britain’s notorious tabloid press, online media, a book, documentary, university study, or whatever else. The answer has always been no.

    Not even David Frost could get the queen to sit for an interview on the telly. Maybe that’s why Paul McCartney sang, “Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl but she doesn’t have a lot to say.”

    Actually the queen does have a lot to say. She doesn’t consider the public on a need-to-know basis, that’s all.

    “The only way to know what she’s thinking is from her speeches. She doesn’t give her opinions publicly. She’s not political. The political direction of Great Britain is set by the party that’s in power. The queen is above that,” Hyde noted to me.

    The queen’s speech
    And when she gives a speech, reporters aren’t allowed to scream questions as she leaves, like the White House press does.

    “She does have conversations with the prime minister but they are not reported. But the prime ministers say she is very knowledgeable and has a depth of understanding that is quite surprising,” Hyde added.

    Houston’s regal garden party for the queen
    Last week, the British Consulate General Houston threw an invitation-only party for 400 guests at Lott Hall in Hermann Park to celebrate the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee.

    Guests played croquet on the lawn, watched a television feed of the celebration in London, posed with cardboard cutouts of the Queen and Winston Churchill, had fun with a Punch and Judy puppet show, enjoyed adult beverages and dined on chips and dip, a cheese table, and prime rib carving stations.

    Entertainment was provided by bagpipe players and the Fab 5 Beatles tribute band (not at the same time). There were Corgis to pet and a baking contest to nosh on. Women wore hats that made Kentucky Derby headwear look like beanies.

    Hyde, born in Liverpool, in Ringo Starr’s old neighborhood, is a 30-year veteran of Great Britain’s foreign service. He manages the British Consulate on Fannin Street near downtown Houston. The consulate represents Britain in five states: Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Arkansas, and New Mexico.

    There are seven other British Consulates in the U.S. This is Hyde’s ninth assignment on behalf of Great Britain. Previously, he’s served in France, Saudi Arabia, India (twice), Armenia, Venezuela, Costa Rica, and Bermuda. Typically a Consul General’s assignment lasts four years, but Hyde will stay an extra year in Houston to cover for the COVID pandemic.

    Hyde met the Queen in 1993 when he served as the British Consul in Bermuda and the Queen and Prince Philip made an official royal visit.

    “I was involved in the organization of the visit. It was incredible to see the huge amount of preparation that goes into a visit by the Queen. She takes it all in stride. She handles all the pomp effortlessly. It was quite a demonstration of her excellent work ethic,” Hyde said.

    The party at Lott Hall was full-on traditional. Guests were encouraged to “wear garden party attire, elegant yet seasonal. It includes styles such as Royal Ascot and Derby attire.”

    Ken suits up
    I don’t have garden party attire. I ran to K&G Fashion Superstore on 610 and bought a $79 suit from the Steve Harvey Celebrity Fashion Collection.

    I got in. I didn’t ask the security guards to play Royal Family Feud. (Editor’s note: A crowning achievement indeed, Ken.)

    I asked Hyde: “Queen Elizabeth is beloved and respected in Great Britain. In America, we have little respect for our leaders and can’t wait to throw them out of office. Half the country thinks the former president should be tossed in jail, and the other half thinks our current president shouldn’t even be the president because the election was fixed. Meanwhile the Queen has a 90-percent approval rating in Great Britain and 75-percent approval rating in the U.S. How does she do it?”

    Hyde summed it up. “She has a sense of duty, purpose and dignity,” he said. “She doesn’t complain, she just gets on with the job. She gives people a sense of direction. She sets the moral code. She is about honor and duty. She is all the things we expect from our leaders. We criticize politicians when they fail in those areas. The Queen has never failed.”

    Guests at the garden party played croquet on the lawn.

      
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    game, set, zina.

    Best of Ken Hoffman: Interviewing Houston's greatest tennis icon

    Ken Hoffman
    Aug 29, 2024 | 12:30 pm
    Zina Garrison, tennis player
    ITATennis
    Garrison, a tennis legend, is now the tennis director of Houston Parks and Recreation.

    Editor's note: After the sudden death of beloved columnist Ken Hoffman on July 14, CultureMap is republishing some of our favorite "Hoffman's Houston" columns. In honor of the U.S. Open, here's Ken's interview with Houston tennis legend Zina Garrison; it was originally published on June 27, 2022.

    As a child, Zina Garrison learned how to hit a tennis ball on the public courts at MacGregor Park during the 1970s and became, simply, the most accomplished player ever from Houston.

    She developed into a Grand Slam champion, a Top 5 ranking in the world, Wimbledon finalist in 1990 with 20 tournament titles, Federation Cup captain, and Olympic gold medal winner and later Olympic coach.

    Now Garrison is back where she started, only this time she’s devoted to making Houston a great place to learn and play tennis … again. Like she did.

    “I am now the tennis director of Houston Parks and Recreation,” Garrison tells me. “I’m over all the public tennis programs and facilities. The job came open recently and I applied for it.”

    Wait... she’s the greatest champion this city has ever produced — and she had to apply for that job?

    “To be honest, I was more interested in the benefits than the money. As you get older, you start thinking differently,” she shares.

    Unlike the major sports leagues in America, tennis doesn’t provide any healthcare insurance or assistance once a player, even a legend, retires.

    “They’re working on it,” Garrison, 58, notes. “But as of now, nothing.”

    Garrison said her first priority as Houston’s tennis director is to repair the public courts.

    “I want to bring the public tennis facilities up to where I’d be proud, where everybody would be proud, to bring people to use our courts. There are cracks in the courts. Nothing’s really been done in the last 20 or maybe 30 years,” she says.

    “I’ve traveled to Florida and some other places and they have really nice public courts. Tennis in Houston was really thriving for a while and we had nice courts and people could play in the parks. We had junior programs. We flourished. That’s my main goal.”

    While I had Garrison on the phone, I served up some questions:

    CultureMap: Wimbledon is on. You’re familiar with that tournament, right? Who are your picks to win the men’s side and women’s side?

    Zina Garrison: Yes, I’m familiar with Wimbledon. I have my alarm set for the early morning so I can watch. I have a weird pick, a more personal pick, for the men.

    I would love to see Rafael Nadal keep going on, but it’s going to be tough for him. The guy from Italy, Matteo Berrettini, I watched him play a couple of weeks ago and I think he’s going to surprise a lot of people. And I am absolutely in love with that little guy, Carlos Alcaraz, from Spain. He’s made me watch tennis again.

    On the women’s side, I don’t think it will be Iga Swiatek. I think it’s just too hard to keep a streak like hers (35 matches in a row including the French Open title) going in today’s game. It’s really wide open. I don’t really have a pick, it’s just who comes in and plays well at the right time.

    CM: What do you think about Natela Dzalamidze, the doubles player from Russian who switched her nationality to Georgia so she could play Wimbledon, which has banned players from Russian and Belarus this year?

    ZG: I don’t like that she was able to do that. I was just on the phone with (former pro turned broadcaster) Chanda Rubin talking about what’s going on in tennis these days.

    First of all, there is the human rights stuff that’s going on in Russia and Ukraine. We have to start forcing accountability for actions. A lot of people didn’t agree with what Wimbledon did, but I think they had to take a stand.

    CM: The women’s GOAT is easy — it’s Serena. But who do you think is the men’s GOAT?

    ZG: Wow, that’s a hard one. If you had asked me earlier this year, I would have said Roger Federer because of everything he’s accomplished. But right now I’m going to have to go with Nadal. Nadal has taken tennis to a whole ‘nother level, of getting people to watch, coming out of the pandemic, where he has matches and you think he can’t come back and he’s still grinding no matter what.

    For me, he is the epitome of what we need in this world right now: Never give up but not be selfish about helping others. I know it sounds clichéd, but that’s what I’m going through right now.

    CM: When I first met you, you were painfully shy. It was hard to get an answer out of you. Now you’re a TV commentator and a regular chatterbox. What happened?

    ZG: I was an introvert but I had always been intrigued by people of wisdom. A lot of it came as I developed confidence in myself. I had always been told at a very young age, if you really knew me, I spoke a lot. If you didn’t know me, I would be quiet. I would only speak about things that I was extremely passionate about.

    As I’ve gotten older, because of my experiences. I feel like I can help people so I’m not afraid to say what I want to say.

    CM: Starting the week after Wimbledon, coaches will be allowed to communicate with men players during matches. Up to now, that’s only been allowed in the women’s game. Every other sport allows coaching. Do you think tennis should allow coaching, too?

    ZG: I don’t think coaching should be allowed. That’s one of the great things about tennis. That’s a part of the sport, that you grow and figure things out. You learn to think for yourself.

    There’s always been little signals from coaches, but now you have these full blown conversations. Another bad thing about allowing coaching is it gives the players the opportunity to blame a loss their coach. That’s not good for the sport.

    CM: You were known for wiggling your butt when receiving serve. Did you know you were doing it? Did you do that on purpose?

    ZG: It started off as kind of a joke with my coaches. They said, we need you to move your feet. I said, you mean like this?

    So, it started as a joke but I realized that it helped get my feet moving: Okay, I’m going to keep doing this.

    I’ll never forget that year after I got to the Wimbledon finals, 1990, I went over to Japan and there were 1,200 people there … and all of them started wiggling!

    CM: What was the first extravagant thing you bought for yourself when the tennis prize money started rolling in?

    ZG: It was 1982, and I bought a candy apple red Volkswagen convertible with a white top.

    CM: You were on the Biggest Loser, the show where contestants compete against each other to lose weight. Let’s just say you didn’t win. Are you happy you went on that show, or do you regret it?

    ZG: I was one of the first who had to leave the competition. (No, you were THE first.) It was an experience, but I probably shouldn’t have done it. I think I regret going on there. It wasn’t what I thought it was.

    It was reality TV and at the time I didn’t know what reality TV was .I was more ready to get out of there than anything else.

    CM: Now here’s the big question, Zina. For years, I’ve had a running disagreement with ESPN 97.5 FM morning host John Granato about which is a more demanding, tougher sport – golf or tennis?

    Granato says it’s golf, because the tournament winner has to beat every other player that week, while in tennis the winner just has to beat seven players at most. And, each week, golfers have to contend with a different course.

    But, I say it’s tennis because players have to be in top physical condition, while nearly anyone in any shape can win a golf major.

    Plus, in golf, players have a caddy helping them make decisions. In tennis, players are on their own.

    In golf, you can have a bad day on Thursday and still win the tournament. In tennis, if you have a bad day in the opening round, you’re on a plane out of there.

    In golf, it’s the player against the course. There’s no defense in golf. In tennis, there’s a human opponent trying to beat you.

    In golf, the ball is lying still. In tennis the ball is coming at you at 140 mph.

    So which is the tougher sport, golf or tennis? I’m right ... right?

    ZG: Are you serious? Who is this guy who says golf is harder? The answer is tennis and it’s not even close.

    You’re playing against someone. You’re only controlling the ball when it’s on your side of the net. You can’t control what the other player is doing. It’s almost like a boxer coming at you.

    You have to have both the physical and mental capacity to win. In golf, if you have a bad day, it’s because you’re having that bad day. There’s no opponent competing with you. So, I’m saying it’s tennis.

    CM (note to John Granato): I win. Granted, it might have been the way I asked the question. Also, Garrison is a former tennis pro.

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