Mark your journals in red, Houston. March 7, 2014, that was the night we’ll always remember, the night we met our perfect rodeo luvah, Usher.
We first felt his presence, not by his whisper of our name echoing to us across Reliant Stadium, but by the growl of engines. Suddenly, 12 single headlights illuminated the darkness. Where only minutes before steers were wrestled and mutton busted, at that moment, in what is likely the most epic rodeo entrance ever, motorcycles came zooming unto the dirt floor.
Circling the stage again and again, one popped a little wheelie. Could that be Usher? We know it was.
Of course we scream. We had to scream. Our perfect rodeo boyfriend had arrived.
The lights dimmed and then exploded as he stopped with an intentional skid in front of us, ripped off his helmet and bound onto the stage. He was wrapped all in black, jeans and a leather motorcycle jacket, because he knows what we like. He nodded to us, surveying his domain. And then he said our name: “Houston.”
Of course we scream. We had to scream. Our perfect rodeo boyfriend had arrived.
He stayed with us for a little over an hour. We leaped to our feet early on for “Love in the Club,” and never sat down again. Instead, we stayed up dancing like it was the last night of our life.
He burned us up on “Burn.” He called us “Bad Girl,” and we let him know just how bad. During “U Remind Me” he crooned us into taking a little soul trip. Sometimes he sang straight to us. Other times, he fell to his knees like the song was breaking him in two. He joined his backup dancers in so many routines his jeans seemed to grow blacker with sweat. Others times he stood apart and like a maestro conducted his dancers in a kind of half-clothed simulated orgy.
He teased us mercilessly when he asked if we minded if he got a little comfortable and slinked off his jacket, even giving us a few nipple glimpses, now and then. Still he wouldn’t show us the goods.
He swore to us again and again that this was his first rodeo, but his moves and the way he worked us into a frenzy made us wonder if he could be lying. Surely there had been others before. But no, when he looked into our eyes — or the camera, whichever — during our Usher/crowd duet of “Climax,” we knew in our hearts he’d always be true.
He joined his backup dancers in so many routines his jeans seemed to grow blacker with sweat.
Yet, for one brief moment late into his serenades, he seemed almost adorably self-conscious when we gave him cause to doubt our love. Yes, in the intro to “Yeah” when he mentioned his Voice partner in bromance, Blake Shelton, we might have let out a little squeal for Blake, but we were only trying to make Usher jealous. We’re not really that fickle. So when he tested us with a “Blake” vs. “Team Usher" poll, oh boy did we yell his name.
He prepared for our bitter parting with our favorite “Without U,” and ended with the words “I will never be the same, without you, Houston.” He told us he loved us, dropped mike (literally) and jumped back on his waiting motorcycle. As he circled once around, perhaps to glimpse our 75,067 faces one last time (a new Black Heritage Day Rodeo record crowd), fireworks exploded from the earth.
Then, as the smoke cleared, he was gone, back into the night, leaving us with only a faint hope in our hearts that one night he would return to us.
Come back, Usher, come back. We promise we’ll love you forever. Or at least until Adam Levine gets here on Thursday. Yeah, we might be a bit fickle.
Set List:
OMG
Love in the Club
U Make Me Wanna
Lemme See/Lil Freak
U Remind Me
Twisted
Caught Up
Climax
Burn
U Don't Have to Call
Bad Girl
Yeah
DJ Got Us Fallin in Love
Without U
Usher, the perfect Rodeo boyfriend? You'd better believe it.
