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    the royal treatment

    Ken Hoffman completely changes course on cruises after a trip on Royal Caribbean's new Galveston mega ship

    Ken Hoffman
    Jan 9, 2023 | 4:00 pm

    I’m taking a vacation from my usual vacation plans this year.

    Instead of battling for breathing room at TSA security, waiting for my plane to depart while enjoying a cold, double-priced chicken sandwich and fries, taking forever to reach my seat because someone brought Celine Dion’s wardrobe trunk onboard and it won’t fit in the overhead compartment, sitting for nine hours next to someone who snores like a circus elephant and hogs the armrest, then landing 15 minutes ahead of schedule but there’s a plane at our gate so we’ll have to sit on the runway for30 minutes, then calling for an Uber into town …I’m going cruising next time.

    I never thought of myself as a cruise guy. I used to think of cruises as the last hour of a wedding reception when only the drunks are still there, the band has left, someone finds a karaoke machine, and there will be icy conversations on the way home and apologies the next morning.

    A Royal affair

    Recently, Royal Caribbean International invited a couple thousand journalists, travel agents, and tourism professionals to the opening of its $125 million, 161,334-square foot cruise terminal in Galveston.

    As we reported last year, it’s the largest everything: the largest cruise terminal in Texas capable of handling the largest ships in Royal Caribbean’s fleet, including the Allure of the Seas, which is 1,187-feet long, and sails with up to 6,780 guests and 2,200 crew members aboard.

    By the numbers, that’s four times the population of Southside Place inside the Loop.

    Also by the numbers: The Allure of the Seas is a football field longer and more buoyant than some little ship called The Titanic. It’s the largest cruise ship ever to sail from Galveston and have its home base in Texas.

    Royal Caribbean’s new Terminal 3 is powered by 30,000 feet of on-site solar panels. The terminal is next to Pier 10 in Galveston Port and will process more than 630,000 passengers each year climbing aboard the Allure of the Seas and Royal Caribbean’s other large ships.

    The gleaming terminal took roughly 18 months to build. If that's the case, then how come the 4-bedroom stucco house on a 50-by-100 lot at end of my block has taken two years — and it’s not close to done? (On the bright side, there’s a dumpster in the driveway that now holds half the junk previously cluttering my attic.)

    No ordinary terminal

    Royal Caribbean’s new terminal isn’t like anything at Bush-Intercontinental Airport. There aren’t T-shirt shops, newsstands, and restaurants. There’s no need for restaurants. The ship is right there down the gang plank and the buffet is open.

    Royal Caribbean’s terminal has one purpose, to unload the passengers on disembarkation morning and load passengers a few hours later for embarkation. Cruise ships’ turnaround time is fast. Here’s a twist from airports – all the lanes for inspection and boarding are open.

    Royal Caribbean Allure of the Seas Galveston Terminal

    Photo courtesy of Royal Caribbean

    Royal Caribbean's Allure of the Seas cruise ship and brand new Galveston terminal are showstoppers.

    There’s a novel idea for IAH: I got through security and boarding in 10 minutes.

    Guests at the ribbon cutting were invited to test-drive a short dress rehearsal cruise aboard the Allure of the Seas. As we covered last March, the Allure of the Seas is enormous with 18 stories — I mean decks — and 24 guest elevators. The ship weighs 225,282 gross tons, which given the way a cruise ship feeds passengers, gets grosser each day at sea. Normal cruising speed is 22 knots. I have no idea how fast that is.

    Ken on deck

    I settled into a stateroom on Deck 12. It had a queen bed, a couch, desk, bathroom, and a balcony big enough for two chairs and a table. My room was visited by staff twice a day who cleaned it faster than I could messy it. I was by myself so the state room was plenty big. Two people could stay there comfortably. Three, you’re pushing it. Four, fistfights.

    More than anything else, I was struck by the value of taking a cruise. You can take a four-night cruise that visits Cozumel, Mexico for $242, which includes your inside cabin, entertainment, activities and all you can eat three meals a day plus late-night burgers and pizza. A five-night cruise stopping at two ports can be as low as $270. Royal Caribbean cruises out of Galveston grow up to 15-nights, one-way to Spain, or through the Panama Canal to the west coast, starting at $755 per person.

    Of course, prices are higher for more desirable staterooms (exterior balcony rooms and suites up to two bedrooms), and there are add-on costs for drink packages, Internet, salon damage control, and certain specialty restaurants.

    There is a main dining room with full service that is included in your basic cruise price. The dining room holds 3,000 guests and has two seatings — early and late — for dinner.

    A spectacular feast

    I could be happy eating at the Windjammer buffet every meal for the rest of my life. Imagine a Hollywood producer throws a wedding for his last — and least attractive — daughter and goes all out for thousands of guests who must attend or they’ll never work in this town again. That’s the buffet on the Allure of the Seas. It’s huge, wildly popular yet illogically never crowded. I don’t wait to eat. (Editor's note: This is true.)

    Each morning, I ate my weight in lox and bagels. Do you know how expensive lox is? The free breakfast alone covers the price of your cruise. Lunch and dinner had a spectacular array of food with multiple international cuisines. One night there was an Italian station that included chicken parm, my favorite.

    I considered pulling up a chair to the buffet — but that would be bad cruise etiquette. Three times a day, I would walk briskly to the buffet and waddle back to my room. A daily malt at Johnny Rocket’s didn’t help. Two guys named Ben & Jerry were accomplices.

    There are sinks designed for washing hands at the buffet entrance. A staffer points you to the sinks. And by points, I mean, hey you, wash up. There are hand sanitizer dispensers throughout public areas and staffers were constantly wiping down banisters, elevator buttons and everything that comes in human contact. I liked that.

    One big onboard party

    Everywhere there are bars, the ship is one floating bacchanalian (awesome word) festival. The large casino with table games and slots opened about a few hours after we left port. That’s when something amazing happened. I put $10 into a slot machine, pulled the handle one time and it came up double bars across the middle row. I won $100! Here’s the amazing part: I cashed out and never went back. I left a casino a winner for the first time. Oh, I’ve hit jackpots before but always gave it back and then some. This time, I walked.

    I almost won a second time — at the daily trivia contest. I was teamed up with a travel agent and her plus-one husband. We missed on “What southern U.S. city named fora city in Egypt did Andrew Jackson help create?” We answered Alexandria. The correct answer was Memphis. I never knew there was a city in Egypt called Memphis.

    The Allure of the Seas has seven themed “neighborhoods,” like Central Park and Boardwalk, complete with a merry-go-round. There are Broadway production shows like Mamma Mia! at night. I went to the comedy club where one of the comics advised — and I don’t know if this is true — don’t get frisky on your balcony, because there are cameras everywhere, you know, just in case. I thought, if he’s trying to discourage people from canoodling on the balcony, that’s not an effective deterrent. I mean, some people…

    There was a sports deck, rock climbing, mini golf, and a full-sized basketball court. I played HORSE with children. There was a zip line nine stories high, waterslides and two surf simulators. There’s an ice show and aerial performers. Most people sipped adult beverages and lounged around the various pools. There’s stuff to do all day and through the night. I never got bored. I had the best time. I brought a book with me, never touched it.

    We stopped for a day in Cozumel where passengers visited pharmacies for certain medications that CVS at home keeps behind the counter. (Put it this way, onboard canoodling lasted longer than usual that night. But after four hours, you might want to call somebody.) There’s a Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville restaurant onshore and a non-stop row of bars. The beach was clean, the sand super white and the water shimmering blue. Maybe some U.S. tourists should think about keeping their T-shirts on.

    Changing course on cruising

    Here’s how much my view of cruising turned 180. My next vacation will be a full 7-day cruise to somewhere from Galveston. Even the end of a cruise is terrific.

    Consider the last day of your Disney vacation: You leave your hotel at 10 am for your noon flight. Security at Orlando airport isn’t fun times. Then you’re trapped in a too-skinny seat for two hours on a packed plane, followed by waiting for everybody to get their carry-on down from the overheads, then take forever to squeeze down the aisle to the exit door, then downstairs to baggage claim, then the shuttle to the Parking Spot. By the time you get in your car, it’s been a five or six-hour stress test.

    On the final day of your cruise, you get up, have breakfast, and get off the ship at your leisure — let’s say 8 am. Your car is waiting right there at a parking lot. You’re on I-45 in five minutes and home before 9 am — in time for your second breakfast.

    Right now, I’m checking schedules for my summertime cruise. On the advice of my trivia contest partner, I’ll be using a travel agent. Why? They know the best deals and if something goes wrong, a travel agent is your friend. Plus, she takes a lot of cruises and I want to win the trivia contest next time.

    What's your best — or worst — cruise experience? Let Ken know at ken@culturemap.com or on Twitter.

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    Get your kicks

    Texas is just the start of the ultimate Route 66 road trip

    Associated Press
    Apr 9, 2026 | 9:30 am
    Cadillac Ranch
    Cadillac Ranch/ Facebook
    Cadillac Ranch in Amarillo is an essential stop on a Route 66 road trip.

    ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) — There are faster ways to get from Chicago to Los Angeles, but none have the allure or cultural cachet of Route 66.

    To John Steinbeck, it was the Mother Road that led poor farmers from Dust Bowl desperation to sunny California. To Native Americans along the route, it was an economic boon that also left scars. To Black travelers, it offered sanctuary during segregation. And to music fans, it was the place to get their kicks.

    Route 66 marks its 100th anniversary this year. Despite losing its status decades ago as one of the nation’s main arteries, people from around the world still flock to it to take perhaps the quintessential American road trip and soak in its neon lights, kitschy motels and attractions, and culinary offerings.

    The dream
    Route 66, which runs for roughly 2,400 miles (3,860 kilometers) from Chicago through Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona before ending in Santa Monica, California, was stitched together a century ago from a collection of Native American trading routes and old dirt roads with the goal of linking the industrial Midwest to the Pacific coast.

    Oklahoma businessman Cyrus Avery, known as the Father of Route 66, saw it as more than just a way to cross the country efficiently. It was a chance to connect rural America and create new pockets of commerce.

    Avery knew the number 66 would be ripe for marketing and could be seared into drivers' minds, and he was right: Route 66 has been immortalized in movies, books, including Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath and Jack Kerouac’s On the Road, and songs such as Bobby Troup's “(Get Your Kicks on) Route 66,” which served as an anthem for post-World War II optimism and mobility.

    If you’ve ever planned to motor west and take the highway that’s the best, the year of Route 66's 100th anniversary just might be the time.

    Many stretches of Route 66 may be littered with abandoned buildings and faded signs, but there's still much history and magic to be discovered. With each stop the wheels of imagination turn, leaving travelers to contemplate what life was like for the people and communities that made the road hum.

    Here are essential stops and sights to see on a road trip along historic Route 66.

    Route 66 Somewhere along Route 66. Photo by Morten Andreassen on Unsplash

    Illinois
    Chicago has long been one of the country’s economic engines, with access to international waters and railroads that linked all corners of the country.

    For some travelers, the journey is fueled more by the food than the scenery, and there’s plenty to choose from — slices of homemade pie, thick shakes, cheeseburgers and an assortment of fried delights.

    The Cozy Dog Drive In in Springfield, the Illinois capital, is one of the many diners that sprang up along Route 66, and its breaded hot dogs on a stick have stood the test of time. Third-generation owner Josh Waldmire says the recipe is a secret.

    Waldmire’s grandfather, Ed, saw the concoction’s potential as fast and convenient road food and developed a system for frying the dogs vertically.

    Missouri
    Route 66 has its share of twists and turns, and it’s no surprise that a highway famous for its quirky roadside attractions would cross the nation’s most famous river on one of the more peculiar bridges known to modern engineering.

    As the road nears St. Louis, the mile-long (1.6-kilometer-long) Chain of Rocks Bridge hovers more than 60 feet (18 meters) above the Mississippi River.

    Engineers eventually built a straighter, higher-speed option, and a poor resale market spared the original bridge from the scrap heap. Today it’s reserved for pedestrians and cyclists.

    A median in Missouri is home to St. Robert Route 66 Neon Park, which features orphaned neon signs that once beckoned travelers to stop at certain sites and businesses along the highway. Often handcrafted, they weren’t only markers for motels, cafes and gas stations, but were also folk art and symbols of local culture.

    Kansas
    The Sunflower State hosts only a short stretch of Route 66, but it packs a punch with the Kan-O-Tex Service Station in Galena. A classic example of roadside fare, the station served as inspiration for the animated 2006 Pixar film Cars.

    Director John Lasseter and his crew took road trips along the route, digging into history and looking for elements that could bring the project to life. It was in Galena where they spotted the old boom truck that served as the basis for the character Tow Mater. The plot wasn’t far off, as so many once bustling towns — like the fictional Radiator Springs — nearly faded away after being bypassed by an interstate.

    Kansas also is home to the Brush Creek Bridge, otherwise known as the Rainbow Bridge. It’s on the National Register of Historic Places and is one of few remaining examples of the concrete arched bridges designed by James Barney Marsh.

    Route 66 Neon signs along Route 66. Photo by Mick Haupt on Unsplash

    Oklahoma
    There was a real danger for some who traveled the road, particularly Black motorists passing through inhospitable and segregated areas during the Jim Crow era. The Green Book — a guide first published in 1936 by Victor Hugo Green — listed hotels, restaurants and gas stations that would serve Black customers.

    The Threatt Filling Station near Luther wasn’t listed in The Green Book, but it was a safe haven — not only for getting fuel, but for barbecue and baseball. Listed on the National Register of Historic Places, it was the only known Black-owned and operated gas station along Route 66.

    Route 66 is littered with abandoned buildings and faded signs, but one example of the highway’s resilient spirit stands tall in Sapulpa, near Tulsa. The restored Tee Pee Drive-In Theater offers a step back into the 1950s, when the booming car culture helped spawn thousands of drive-in theaters nationwide.

    Built in 1949, the drive-in officially opened in the spring of 1950 with a screening of John Wayne’s “Tycoon.” It was one of the few drive-ins at the time to have paved pathways. Over the years, it survived a tornado, a fire that destroyed the concession stand and break-ins before being shuttered for more than 20 years. It reopened in 2023.

    route 66 historic district Get your kicks on Route 66 in Amarillo. Photo courtesy of Visit Amarillo

    Texas
    Blink and you might miss it, but a stop at the Cadillac Ranch in Amarillo is a must for any Route 66 journey. For decades, visitors have been spray-painting the 10 vintage Cadillacs at the site and mulling the transitory nature of time as Bruce Springsteen did in his 1980 song of the same name.

    It’s not a ranch, but rather a public art installation created in 1974 by the art and architecture collective Ant Farm. At first, the cars — which were half-buried front-down at a 60-degree angle — were used for target practice. Others would scratch their initials into the metal. The spray painting started later.

    Arrive in Adrian and you’re halfway through your trip. Steps from a white line marking the midpoint of Route 66 is the Midway Cafe, where the “ugly pies” are anything but.

    If you’re still hungry, head back to Amarillo for a 72-ounce (2 kilogram) steak and all the sides at The Big Texan. If you can finish the meal in an hour or less, it's free.

    New Mexico
    More than half of Route 66 cuts through sovereign Native American lands, often tracing routes used by tribes long before settlers arrived. Much like the railroad in the 1800s, the highway opened the door to a new era of commerce, but it also fueled stereotypes about cultures along the way.

    There are still faded and crumbling references to tipis and feathered headdresses at some stops along the historic highway. The symbols were easily appropriated for marketing by roadside vendors but weren't indicative of the separate and distinct Native American cultures in the area.

    Today, tribes are telling their own stories and showcasing their creations, whether it be pottery, fruit pies or poems.

    Albuquerque boasts the longest intact urban stretch of Route 66. Those 18 miles (29 kilometers) pass through several neighborhoods and business districts, from historic Old Town to Nob Hill.

    Some of the old motor lodges and neon signs along what is now Central Avenue have been restored. Other signs are being reimagined using hubcaps, elaborate lowrider-inspired paint jobs and New Mexico’s classic yellow and red license plates in a nod to the car culture that is very much still alive in the city.

    Arizona
    Musician Jackson Browne was taking his own road trip in the early 1970s when his car left him stranded in Winslow. The experience inspired the lyrics to the Eagles’ hit “Take it Easy.” But it’s certainly not the only song that is a must-have for a Route 66 playlist.

    Bobby Troup created a classic American road anthem in the 1940s with “(Get Your Kicks on) Route 66.” Nat King Cole, Chuck Berry, The Rolling Stones and Depeche Mode carried it through the decades, each covering the song with their own flair.

    While standing on a corner in Winslow, don’t be surprised if someone saunters up with a guitar and starts strumming favorites from their own road trip playlist.

    Before leaving the state, the one-time gold mining town of Oatman features a Wild West atmosphere, daily staged shootouts and beloved burros. Oatman was a destination along one of the original alignments of Route 66 via a treacherous path through the Black Mountains, but it was later bypassed as part of improvements made in the 1950s.

    California
    Once a desert oasis, Roy’s Motel & Café in Amboy is a quintessential Route 66 landmark. The towering neon sign is one of the most photographed spots along the road. Inside, foreign currency left by international visitors lines one wall. Across the street, a clothing post decorated with shoes, shirts and other items juts up from the desert floor.

    This stretch of the highway through the Mojave Desert offers a special kind of solitude. The pavement gets rough in spots and the landscape takes charge, showing off Joshua trees, wide-open spaces and the remnants of ancient volcanic activity.

    Much of the area is undeveloped, meaning it looks a lot like it would have when Route 66 was commissioned in 1926.

    After making it through oft-congested Los Angeles, the iconic Santa Monica Pier marks the end of the line, and it’s nothing short of a perpetual party with a steady stream of spectators and performers. Although many stretches of Route 66 have lapsed into decay, the breathtaking views of the Pacific Ocean are a reminder of the pursuits made possible by the road over the last century.

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