Why I don't mind x-ray vision

Loving the new sexy airport body scanners: Yes, I will (virtually) undress

Someone has to appreciate how much I've been killing myself in the trianglepose.
Sexy!
Put the perviness of peeping toms to use behind the TSA scanners.
Yeah, he was fun to flirt with when I was in high school. I've moved on to adifferent sector.

Our new CulturePoll asks readers their opinion on the Transportation Security Administration's (TSA) full-body scanners, which reveal detailed images of travelers’ bodies. Although some call the new scanning method "gross," "invasive," and even "grossly invasive," I welcome the virtual strip search.

Am I of the “I’ve got nothing to hide!” mindset?

Do I believe that any measure preventing terrorism is worth the sacrifice? No and no. My reasons have nothing to do with civil liberties or terrorism. (Those sound boring anyway.)

Here's why I'm for sexy TSA scans and why you should be too:

1. Someone has to appreciate the work I put into this body, even if it’s a stranger behind a scanner. I didn’t buy that yoga group-on for nothing.

2. Flirting with flight attendants? Over it. (Besides, ever since the Continental and United merger they've been so moody!)

I yearn to eye-sex a more exotic group of airport employees. TSA full-body scans present untapped avenues of flirtation: bizarre undies, feigning being transgender, glowing nipple rings, etc. Careful though— you gotta watch out for the pervs.

3. But these pervs need jobs too. Stationing pervs behind the sexy scanners ensures that they stay gainfully employed. You know their eager stares won’t let anything slip by.

4. Pervs in the workforce mean pervs will have less time to rappel down apartment complexes, peeping in windows and being all pervy. Although it’s thrilling the first few times you’re perved on, much like flirting with flight attendants, the experience gets real old real fast.

5. Imagine how bored the poor workers get listening to metal detectors and doing pat downs. Don’t you feel bad for them? Show some sympathy.

Say yes to (virtually) undressing for the sexy new TSA scans.

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say hi to smitty

Jolly Texas town makes list of best Christmas road trip destinations

Smithville Area Chamber of Commerce - Facebook

Smithville's annual Festival of Lights transforms downtown into a winter wonderland.

The December holiday season brings many opportunities for creating memories, such as visiting all of the spectacular light displays in the Houston area. But one twinkly town in Central Texas outshines the rest of the state.

The small, merry town of Smithville – located about 120 miles west of Houston – and its beloved Gingerbread Lane was just named one of the jolliest holiday road trips in the nation, according to a recent report by online classifieds site RVTrader.

Downtown Smithville completely transforms during the winter season in preparation for its annual Festival of Lights, which took place on Saturday, December 7. This year's festivities included an indoor arts and crafts show featuring local artisans, an array of outdoor vendors, complimentary rides on the Ann Powell Express train, a parade, and many more activities.

No winter extravaganza is complete without snow, and 40,000 pounds of real snow was blown during the morning of the festival to allow for snow tubing, snowball fights, and more. Santa even made an appearance to snap photos with children.

At the heart of the festival is the iconic Smitty gingerbread man, which broke the Guinness World Record for the World's Biggest Gingerbread Man in 2006, which was officially recognized two years later, according to Explore Bastrop County.

"In honor of being officially named the World’s Biggest Gingerbread Man, the Smithville Area Chamber of Commerce and the City of Smithville retired the cookie sheet that was used to bake the giant gingerbread man and converted it into a monument to commemorate the record," the website says.

Smitty the gingerbread man in Smithville, Texas Smitty is a sizeable famous figure in Smithville.Smithville Area Chamber of Commerce - Facebook

If you missed the festivities this year, stay tuned for the 34th annual festival in 2025. But visitors can still check out all of the dazzling lights and meet Smitty throughout the winter season.

For visitors who want to turn a day trip into a weekend stay, RVTrader suggests camping at Buescher State Park, which is only two miles away from Smithville. The park offers a variety of RV campsites, screened shelters, and cabins. But for those who would prefer a hotel, there's always the historic Katy House Bed & Breakfast.

Smithville was the only Texas city to make it on RVTrader's list of top holiday road trip destinations. Several other holly jolly cities were chosen across every region in the country.

"The holiday season is the perfect time to hit the road and discover the magic of Christmas across the country," the report's author wrote. "Whether you’re visiting Gingerbread Lane in Texas, marveling at the lights of McAdenville, or exploring the Bavarian charm of Leavenworth, these holly, jolly holiday road trips promise unforgettable moments."

Other prominent holiday road trip destinations include:

Plant City, Florida
McAdenville, North Carolina
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Frankenmuth, Michigan
Branson, Missouri
Durango, Colorado
Fresno, California
Leavenworth, Washington
North Pole, Alaska

travel central texas holidays christmas road trip