Why I don't mind x-ray vision
Loving the new sexy airport body scanners: Yes, I will (virtually) undress
Someone has to appreciate how much I've been killing myself in the trianglepose.
Sexy!
Put the perviness of peeping toms to use behind the TSA scanners.
Yeah, he was fun to flirt with when I was in high school. I've moved on to adifferent sector.
Our new CulturePoll asks readers their opinion on the Transportation Security Administration's (TSA) full-body scanners, which reveal detailed images of travelers’ bodies. Although some call the new scanning method "gross," "invasive," and even "grossly invasive," I welcome the virtual strip search.
Am I of the “I’ve got nothing to hide!” mindset?
Do I believe that any measure preventing terrorism is worth the sacrifice? No and no. My reasons have nothing to do with civil liberties or terrorism. (Those sound boring anyway.)
Here's why I'm for sexy TSA scans and why you should be too:
1. Someone has to appreciate the work I put into this body, even if it’s a stranger behind a scanner. I didn’t buy that yoga group-on for nothing.
2. Flirting with flight attendants? Over it. (Besides, ever since the Continental and United merger they've been so moody!)
I yearn to eye-sex a more exotic group of airport employees. TSA full-body scans present untapped avenues of flirtation: bizarre undies, feigning being transgender, glowing nipple rings, etc. Careful though— you gotta watch out for the pervs.
3. But these pervs need jobs too. Stationing pervs behind the sexy scanners ensures that they stay gainfully employed. You know their eager stares won’t let anything slip by.
4. Pervs in the workforce mean pervs will have less time to rappel down apartment complexes, peeping in windows and being all pervy. Although it’s thrilling the first few times you’re perved on, much like flirting with flight attendants, the experience gets real old real fast.
5. Imagine how bored the poor workers get listening to metal detectors and doing pat downs. Don’t you feel bad for them? Show some sympathy.
Say yes to (virtually) undressing for the sexy new TSA scans.
