Pulling on his cowboy boots in the Houston Dynamo locker room, Brad Davis feels it's only right to offer fair warning.
"Watch out for these babies," he says.
If only opposing goalies could receive similar helpful tips heading into any game against Davis. For the Dynamo's opponents know what's coming from Davis and they still cannot stop it. This still largely unknown soccer force in Texas — show Davis' head shot to 10 Houstonians and you'll be lucky if one can identify him out of uniform — is clearly one of the best set piece players in the world.
He's essentially an American version of David Beckham on set pieces.
Minus the mega millions earned, the hot retired pop star wife and the worldwide fame.
Kinnear calls the physical affair with United "a man's game." Luckily, he has a guy tough enough to be The Man on his side.
Now, Davis isn't close to being the overall player Beckham was in his prime. But when it comes to the particular, specific wizardry of set pieces — corner kicks, free kicks and the like — he's arguably passed the fading Beckham.
Just ask D.C. United goalie Bill Hamid. If you can get him to stop cursing under his breath. Davis drives Hamid absolutely crazy on a chilly night in Houston, lifting the Dynamo to a 2-0 win in a Saturday night season opener that has little to do with the pageantry and wonder of last season's new stadium opener.
Expect the fact that Davis once again produces the difference-making goal.
This time it comes on a curving corner kick in the 80th minute that knocks into the net off the head of United's own defender James Riley. It's officially an own goal. But it's a goal created by Davis and the immense pressure he places on defenses in these situations.
"When you've got a guy who does set pieces like Brad — and he's one of the best in the game — it puts you in a difficult spot as a goalie," Dynamo goalie Tally Hall says. "No matter what spot you put yourself in — even if you're in the perfect spot to make a save — you can still be the wrong spot because of how he can move the ball.
"If he places the ball where he wants to, it doesn't matter what position you're in."
Sometimes it doesn't matter even when Davis doesn't locate the corner perfectly. The veteran Riley is so freaked out by the threat, so determined to make sure that Dynamo midfielder Ricardo Clark — Davis' intended target on the back post — doesn't get his head on the ball that he heads it in himself.
He's essentially an American version of David Beckham on set pieces. Minus the mega millions earned, the hot retired pop star wife and the worldwide fame.
"Honestly, I haven't seen (a replay) yet," Davis says later in the locker room. "I don't care if it's an own goal. As long as it's a goal."
It is one that sends the Dynamo rolling into the new season. Sweet passing in the box between Will Bruin, Brian Ching and final setup man Warren Creavalle will lead to another goal in the 89th minute, this one courtesy of Clark's foot.
But it's the Davis set piece skill that breaks the spell of a near frigid affair.
Fans are used to sweltering in the soccer at the Dynamo's hothouse. On this night they'd nearly freeze, with temperatures dipping into the forties.
"I've got my long johns on," a burly guy in orange cracked. "This is too cold for Houston."
It's hard to replicate the excitement of last season's BBVA Compass Stadium opener. The debut of this EaDo stadium marvel changed everything for the Dynamo, brought out celebrities both local and national. J.J. Watt and Andrew Luck aren't braving this chill to watch a Dynamo game on the second day of March.
Instead, the Dynamo get Texans rookie linebacker Whitney Mercilus, who participates in the pregame ceremony, watches the whole game and hangs out in the Dynamo locker room afterwards.
The diehards are there too. BBVA doesn't sell out and there are some large sections with plenty of empty orange seats, particularly in one of the upper level end zones. Actual attendance does not come close to the more than 20,000 tickets sold number announced and blindly reported elsewhere. But it's no small crowd. And it's loud.
Which is no small feat. It almost seems like the Dynamo's season just ended with that MLS Cup loss to the LA Galaxy. One of the problems with the MLS (albeit a minor one compared to other issues) is that the season seems to run forever, creating little fever or urgency to get to a game early.
The Dynamo did a great job of building some anticipation for this opener though, creating a whole week of events around it. The club held its first official full-blown media day in its eighth year, showing off some pretty plush West Club suites that many reporters hadn't seen before even though BBVA Compass is almost a year old. Dominic Kinnear even wore a suit, which as one TV reporter noted seemed like another first for the Dynamo coach.
I covered another coach years ago who hated suits too and it didn't hurt him any: Bill Parcells. Of course, it helps any coach to have a player like Davis.
Kinnear calls the physical affair with United "a man's game." Luckily, he has a guy tough enough to be The Man on his side.
Going to Beckham School
The LA Galaxy feared Davis' set piece wizardry so much they used Beckham, the most dangerous set piece player in the world for years, to mimic him in practice leading up to last December's MLS Cup.
That's respect.
Beckham himself went out of his way to praise him last year. Which is like an actor getting love from Daniel Day-Lewis.
The 31-year-old Davis will never be a household name. He didn't get U.S. National Team chances early or consistently enough in his career, never was anyone's chosen one.
But goalies know to fear him. And Beckham himself went out of his way to praise him last year. Which is like an actor getting love from Daniel Day-Lewis.
"Beckham was my favorite player to watch coming up," Davis says. "I loved what he could do with the ball."
Now, Davis does a lot of what Beckham used to do on set pieces with his own left foot. Not bad for a kid from Missouri turned proud Texan.
"I love Houston," Davis says. "I've put down my roots here. This is my family's home. This is what, my eighth year here now. I hope to be able to finish my career here. I don't want to play anywhere else."
It turns out those boots are no act. Davis and Hall went to the Rodeo a few days ago, tweeting a picture of themselves decked out in cowboy hats.
The boots are legit. And so is the goalies' fear.
Brad Davis has some ball skills in the open field, but he's most dangerous on set pieces.
