Editor's Note: Much has been said recently about the potential Real Housewives of Houston series after news of the show broke on CultureMap. Now, we hear from one high-profile Houstonian who received the call and turned down the offer.
What do you say when someone approaches you to be on a television reality show, with all kinds of reassuring promises? Ten years ago: “Hell yes!" Now: “Hell no!"
A couple of years ago, a woman approached my girlfriends and me at the original Bar Annie, our home-away-from-home. She and her television crew came up to us and said that they were filming a show about some Houston women.
I asked her what her angle was and she replied, “Well, you know, everything’s big in Texas … BIG hair, BIG money, BIG ...” Now, imagine the sound of screeching car treads here as she saw the admittedly disgusted and disapproving look on my face. She had just made one BIG, fat mistake. Undeterred and lightning quick on her feet, she immediately switched gears and continued, “AND, that’s why we are trying to convey the EXACT OPPOSITE of that.”
Ha! Way to recover! Kudos to the desperate filmmaker! Bravo! Pun intended.
I told the woman not to include me, retreated and sat with another friend, who, incidentally, had been called by the same woman that day. (If you have not been called, contact your service provider. Something is wrong.)
Later, as I waited for my ride to take me home, I saw this guy do about 30 drunk minutes on camera outside the restaurant. I would almost swear now that he was actually dancing at one point, but that could have just been my faulty recalled impression that he was doing whatever they asked. I am darn sure, however, that he was drunk enough to sign the release. God love him.
The next day, several people told me that the Bravo woman had referenced my encounter with her, remarking that she had “scared me away” and was there any way that she could talk to me? Still, no.
Fast-forward two years when I received a phone call from a woman saying that her network wanted to “spotlight” some of Houston’s “interesting and involved people” and would I mind meeting with her? You guessed it — the same chick, but now with a better, honed spiel.
I let her chat, then asked if she remembered an attorney who would not talk to her a couple of years ago at Bar Annie. She recalled the incident. “That was I,” I said. Long pause. A few coughs.
I then told her that I was infinitely boring, that my life was a complete snore and that my scenes would end up on the cutting room floor. Yet, the woman was relentless.
The following conversation represents a paradigm of what these so-called reality shows do. Check out how many writers they have in the credits after them. If they are “real,” why have writers?
The following ensued. The woman asked about my weekend plans. I was attending a gala that Friday night, had not made a hair appointment, was trying to get one and we were having a dinner party at our home on Saturday.
“I love it”!" she said. “Laura Spalding is furious that her hair dresser won’t take her!"
“NO!" I barked. I was absolutely and decidedly NOT furious. I had waited until the last minute and my lack of an updo was MY OWN DAMN FAULT. Her reply? “Can I film your dinner party and follow you around for the weekend? You know that you don’t have to sign anything.” No!
That is when we officially broke up. Like a college frat boy, she finally let it penetrate that I really meant it when I said, “No.” Pun maybe intended.
Some of my friends might have signed on to participate in this show and I genuinely hope that it goes well. If the show is interesting, my educated guess (I have watched a respectable amount of this stuff) is that some of these folks are going to tumble … and HARD. There will be fallout.
I had my own reasons for saying no and they have theirs for saying yes. OK by me. I know these women and I know that they are good people with kind, generous hearts who contribute a lot to the community and are wonderful friends. Is it possible, therefore, that American television viewers could have become a little more savvy and will judge my peeps for who they really are? ... Nah!
They won't have a chance if all they get to see is a producer's skewed view of who the Houston women are. Entertainment for entertainment's sake.
Laura and John Spalding at home. But you won't see it on TV.
