one bite in Houston
Barstool Sports founder-internet celeb Dave Portnoy tears into 2 Houston pies for famed One Bite Reviews
America’s most prolific pizza reviewer offered his opinion on two popular Houston pies this week. Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy sampled pizzas from The Gypsy Poet in Midtown and downtown staple Frank’s Pizza.
Portnoy, in town to promote the High Noon brand of boozy seltzers, is well known for his One Bite Pizza Reviews. To date, he’s reviewed hundreds of restaurants all over the country on a one to 10 scale. Restaurants that score an eight or better can count on an influx of business from his 4.4 million Instagram followers, 2.7 million Twitter followers, and almost 770,000 Youtube subscribers.
Unable to make it to Gypsy Poet in person, Portnoy has it delivered approximately one mile to the Spec’s in Midtown. Typically, Portnoy reviews pizzas fresh out of the oven, but Gypsy Poet’s pizza takes about 10 minutes to reach him.
Initially, he regards the pizza skeptically, but the local favorite wins him over. “Wow,” he says. “Pizza’s really good.”
He awards it a 7.8 “with a legit chance to be in the eights” if he had eaten it hot. Owners Vanessa Fernandez and Cesar Monticelli told Fox 26 they’ve received an influx of orders since the review debuted Monday night.
Frank’s, unfortunately, doesn’t fare as well. “This is drunk pizza. What are people doing at 2:30 pm on a Thursday acting like this is the best delicacy in the history of the world? Come on, Houston,” Portnoy declares.
“Frank’s is a 5.4,” he concludes. “I cannot lie.”
With the Astros in the World Series, perhaps Portnoy will return and sample a few more pies. Given his affinity for New York-style slices, perhaps he’d enjoy Pizaro’s, Romano’s, or, if he doesn’t mind a bit of a drive, Energy Corridor favorite Brother’s.