That collective groan you hear today is probably the sound of Houstonians learning that our city has once again been named the fattest city in America by Men's Fitness magazine. (Or maybe it was just Houstonians straining to reach for that last breakfast taco. Whatever.)

The March 2012 issue of the magazine is not online yet, but Texas Monthly's Daily Post is reporting that Houston has once again gained the illustrious top spot based on a variety of factors including "CDC data, information from health clubs and sporting goods manufacturers, air quality, and commute times."

Houston was also ranked the fattest city in America for three consecutive years from 2001 to 2003, but it improved to the fifth or sixth spot from 2004-2009, the last year the magazine issued fat rankings.

I'm not sure whether it was the air quality, commute times or number of fast food restaurants (we have the most in the country, natch) that put us in the top spot, but the good news is that while we are the fattest city, we aren't actually the city with the most obese people.

According to Texas Monthly, 34 percent of Houstonians are overweight. That's not great, but it puts us below No. 7 El Paso, for example, which has 41.1 percent of residents listed as overweight, to say nothing of Arlington, which snuck in at the No. 15 spot despite having the second-highest percentage of obese (not just overweight) residents at 35.3 percent. Dallas came in at the very bottom of the fat list in the No. 25 spot, but it has 33.8 percent obese residents, the third-most in the country.

So congrats, Houston, for being the fattest city despite not actually having the fattest residents. Living a fat lifestyle (no walking, yummy food) without actually getting fat is pretty much the American dream.

We'll be celebrating by attempting to eat everything fried on the menu at Hay Merchant. See you there.