Even argyle socks may be a violation.
Hang these out to dry...for good.
Roots showing? You're fired.Photo by © Shan Canfield
Put those tight skirts under lock and key.
Look out, lederhosen: Swiss mega bank UBS is taking a closer eye towards its employees' outfits with a 43-page tome outlining what's in and what's out: Men's hair dye, sexy socks, or anything other than flesh-tone (read: caucasian-colored) undies have got to go.
The Swiss have a rep for being a little sneaky when it comes to trafficking Nazi money, but UBS is putting all the deats on the table with this measure. Reports Weutsche Welle, banker style standbys, like exposed tramp stamps, tongue rings and ankle chains will have to stay at home.
"Flashy" jewelry is out, as are tight skirts. And men can't be caught with fingernails longer than 1.5 millimeters. Will there be hall monitors equipped with rulers? Perhaps the company will contract Swiss guards to carry out the manicure measures.
But the book delves deeper into bizarre, fascist-seeming profiling. For instance, men have to ditch ties if they don't match the "morphology" of their face. Assumedly, employees can undergo plastic surgery to better suit their neckwear. UBS is hoping that it's facelift will recover the losing of face it endured after receiving a multi-billion euro bailout in 2008.
Houston's UBS office won't be impacted (yet) by the buttoned-up brigade — for now, the requirements are only being applied to a small number of employees in five pilot offices in Switzerland.
One thing's for sure: UPS deliverymen > UBS businessmen.
The new FIGS store will offer a Color Clinic and Customization Station to let shoppers personalize their FIGS uniforms. Photo courtesy of FIGS/Instagram