WLN 2025

All the White Linen Night parties happening in the Heights and beyond

White Linen Night happens this Saturday, August 2.

Photo courtesy of White Linen Night in the Heights

It appears that the annual summer tradition known as White Linen Night has turned into an event that’s gone city-wide.

While the main action still goes on at the original celebration on 19th Street this Saturday, August 2, other parts of Houston – from River Oaks to The Woodlands to Sunset Heights (which will have an alternative, denim-covered celebration at several dive bars) – will also be welcoming fancy-dressed folk to their respective shindigs.

To show how much WLN has blown up, here’s a rundown of 25 spots in the Heights and elsewhere that’ll be getting their white on this weekend:

The 19th Street Merchants Association will once again have its annual White Linen Night on 19th Street. This year, the event will introduce new features, including the option to purchase VIP tickets, and a streamlined entry process. 6 pm.

Agnes and Sherman will offer some on-the-go treats as well as a swinging alley party for those attending the celebration on 19th Street. Sherm’s Takeout Window will serve scallion waffles and drinks to-go, while Agnes’s Alley will be home to a shindig featuring a live DJ, light bites, and a full bar. 6 pm.

Ardest Gallery in the Woodlands will have a WLN happy hour, featuring a pop-up exhibition with works from local artist Annette Palmer. She’ll be showing off her new “Ascend” series of textured monochromatic paintings. 4 pm.

Aye Candy in Spring Branch will be the site for an WLN afterparty. Guests dressed in all white will get to toast the night with a complimentary glass of champagne upon arrival. 5 pm.

Casa Ramirez Folkart Gallery will be open to art lovers. They’ll have live music provided by BOSSA II (Jesus & Maria Lozano with percussionist Stephen Araujo), new art from Lizbeth Ortiz, along with light sparkling beverages (both alcoholic and non-) and chilled water. 6 pm.

Cedar Creek Cafe will be spinning the disco ball during its white-hot WLN party. The Moment Band will provide live music, and DJs MLE and Dirty DIZZ will be behind the turntables. Along with food and drink specials, a Boozy Kona Ice Truck will be outside. 6 pm.

Christian’s Tailgate Bar and Grill will take over White Oak Drive for a night of fun, fashion, food, and music. Along with the craft cocktails and beer specials, the party will also have food trucks, photo ops, a DJ spinning all night long, and – wait for it – karaoke! 4 pm.

Dirt Bag will veer from traditional plant sales and host a Build-Your-Own Succulent or Cactus Bar. And for those who don’t wanna spend all evening walking around with their new plant, Dirt Bag will tag it and hold it for shoppers to pick up at its Montrose shop after the event. 6 pm.

EZ’s Liquor Lounge will host the Western Jelly Band, followed by spinning grooves from DJ EV at 10 pm. Ninfa’s on Navigation will have food, and there will be “parking lot fun.” 7 pm.

Fielding’s River Oaks will have its WLN a day early with a “White Linen Patio Pounder” on Friday, August 2. Attendees who dress up in their best duds will have a chance to win up to $500 in Fielding’s gift cards, along with a special Patio Pounder Bar Menu. 4 pm.

First Saturday Arts Market returns with “Off The Street - A White Linen Night Art Event,” an outdoor art market. There will be an array of fine art, as well as live music by DJ EV and artisanal coffee and cider from Vivre Coffee and Houston Cider Co. 6 pm.

Heights Bier Garten will give the white-wearers an open-air spot to sip cocktails, enjoy live music, and even take part in a best-dressed contest. It will also have an on-site 360 photobooth and free sips from featured sponsors Herradura Tequila and Gin Mare. 7 pm.

The Kid will have its air-conditioned patio and main bar area available for folks to enjoy WLN festivities. Of course, drinks like White Linen Spritz, White Claws, and white tea shots will be served. 4 pm.

The Little Juice Shop will keep patrons refreshed during WLN. It will have exclusive drink specials (including a special hangover juice for the afterparties), giveaways, swag bags, cocktails/mocktails, and complimentary free rides.

M-K-T and Houston Plant Market will have a full lineup of live music, entertainment, and shopping with over 50 vendors. Dy’Lan Ashton and Ashten White will provide the grooves, and Topo Chico, Smartwater, and City Orchard Craft Cider will serve complimentary drinks. 5 pm.

Moonshine Deck will take over 20th Street with an event called “White Linen: Desert Disco.” Expect food, all-day DJs, VIP areas, signature cocktails, snowcones, photo ops, and a freakin’ mechanical bull! 11 am.

Onion Creek Cafe will host a “White Oak Inferno Party,” for all those white-wearers who love disco. There will be food and drink specials, as well as disco beats and live sets from DJ Panda, Beat Sicarios, and funk band D!GGY. 6 pm.

Permission Whiskey & Service Co. will have a nice little soiree on WLN. DJ LowKey and DJ gusgus will perform back to back, while Darian Hernandez plays live guitar in the early hours. They will also have confetti cannons, shot specials, and a few surprises. 5:30 pm.

Pippa & Pearl will host “Lemons & White Linens,” an evening of “community, compassion and cool lemonade,” on WLN. Proceeds will go to the families of the Camp Mystic campers and counselors who lost their lives during the recent Central Texas floods. 5 pm.

PIzaro’s Pizza will be serving pizza by the slice (made in an Ooni Koda pizza oven) for 19th Street event goers to enjoy. The two options will be New York-style cheese for $5 and the popular D.U.M.B.O for $6, with a variety of wine options as well. 6 pm.

Planet Curls will be hosting a WLN outdoor art market/block party. The Hates, Ganesha, Keno Sims, and 30footFALL’s Butch Klotz will provide the musical entertainment, as the event promises to offer “vibes, food, [and] baddies.” 5 pm.

The Pure Parenting Shop will have an early WLN celebration for parents and kids. Attend demo classes, story times with crafts, and meet their tenants. Attendees can also find out about upcoming classes for parents and kids. 10 am.

The Shiloh Club, the Heights’ oldest dive bar, will be starting its WLN festivities really early. Admission is free all day and night, so you can slip in anytime and enjoy all the music, food, and drink specials this spot will be serving. 10 am.

Sunset Heights Black Denim Night is an alternative to WLN, offering low-key good times and air-conditioned shuttles running bar-to-bar. Heights Drive Inn, Dan Electro’s, The Post, and Johnny’s Gold Brick are some of the spots that’ll be taking part. 6 pm.

The Whimsy Artisan Boutique will have a mini pop-up filled with local art, good vibes, and playful surprises. Explore work from over 180 Houston artists and makers, while also enjoying music and mingling with fellow art lovers. 5 pm.

Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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