winter wonders

Houston's coolest winter break activities, from real snow days to 3D dinosaurs

Houston families looking for things to do over the school break have no shortage of holiday fun this month. From movies, museums, to immersive experiences, there's plenty to delight the young and the young at heart.

Museums

Children's Museum Houston
Polar Palooza continues through January 7, 2024, bringing with it a winter wonderland kinds will love. They can frolic in real snow in the museum's courtyard, making snow angels and taking part in other activities. Admission is included with a museum entry ticket.

Houston Museum of Natural Science
The museum is open Monday through Sunday from 9am to 6pm through January 1, 2024, with free admission on Thursdays from 5 pm to 8 pm. Dinosaur Discoveries is the marquee attraction in the Wortham Giant Screen Theatre. The immersive experience takes audiences into the world of dinosaurs using 3D holographic technology. Admission to the film is $18.

Dinosaur Discoveries Houston Museum of Natural Science HMNS Have a dino-mite holiday with Dinosaur Discoveries at the Houston Museum of Natural Science.Rendering courtesy of Dinosaur Discoveries/Houston Museum of Natural Science

Museum of Fine Arts, Houston
The art museum hosts its annual Winter Break at the Museum programming from December 26 through 29, 2023 and January 2 through 5, 2024. Designed for children ages five to 12, the sessions are free with museum admission and include activities such as checking out the "Kehinde Wiley: An Archaeology of Silence" exhibit and creating original artworks inspired by it.

Immersive experiences

Houston Botanic Garden
Radiant Nature is a dazzling array of more than 50 larger-than-life Chinese lantern installations that come to life in stunning displays showcasing the beauty of nature and celebrating the promise of the Lunar New Year. Check out the 200-foot-long dragon and the 12-foot-tall peacock, and an interactive zone buzzing with illuminated swings, whimsical seesaws, and more. Tickets start at $28.50.

Radiant Nature presented by Reliant A 200-foot dragon is one of 50 jaw-dropping installations at the Houston Botanic Garden's Radiant Nature holiday lantern festival. Photo courtesy of Tianyu Arts & Culture

Houston Zoo
The zoo lights up the night with its popular Zoo Lights exhibit, where families can wander the zoo's trails, which are decked out in colored lights. It all makes for plenty of Insta-worthy moments, from posing in front of a giant Christmas tree to wandering through an enchanted forest. Tickets during winter break start at $31.50.

Ice skating

The Ice at Discovery Green
Presented by Green Mountain Energy, this popular attraction lets guests glide around the ice under the Houston skyline in Discovery Green Park. Skating sessions are 75 minutes and skate rentals are included. Admission is $17 and reservations can be made online. From December 26 to 29 and January 2 to 5, operating hours are 11 am to 11 pm.

The Ice Rink at Woodlands Town Center
North of Houston is this family-friendly spot where skating and fun go hand in hand. Each skate session is two hours, and the cost is $15 including skate rentals. Those who bring their own skates get a discount. After showing off skating skills, pick up a hot chocolate and seasonal treats at the concession stand.

Ice skating at Memorial City Mall
With its location near the food court, this ice rink is a great place to chill out and enjoy time with family and friends. The cost is $10, and those who need skates can rent them for $5 more. Check the calendar for times during winter break.

Performances, plays, and stage shows

Alley Theatre
Catch the last performances of A Christmas Carol, the enduring story of the miserly Scrooge, who learns the meaning of Christmas after visits by three ghosts. The show runs through December 30 and tickets start at $29.

Houston Ballet
The Ballet's production of The Nutcracker runs through December 27. The beloved story has some of the most-recognizable music anywhere, and will delight audiences of all ages. Tickets start at $30.

The Nutcracker Houston Ballet The Nutcracker is a holiday classic. Photo courtesy of Houston Ballet

Mannheim Steamroller
The iconic 1980s rock sensation brings its unique interpretation to Christmas and holiday classics in a concert to delight all ages. Showtime is at 8pm and tickets start at $45.

J Vince Photography

Ice skating at Discovery Green is Winter Break fun for the whole family.

Camps

Armand Bayou Nature Center
The center's Eco Explorers camp for children ages 4 to 11 runs December 27 through 29 and January 3to 5, 2024. Kids will take part in hands-on activities that help them learn more about mammals, reptiles, fantasy animals, and the world around them. $75 per day.

The Artz
Aerial camps for children ages 3 to 15 are offered at the organization's Spring Street location. They'll learn fabric, trapeze, lyra, wall running, harness and other aerial arts. Half-day and full-day options are available. $210 for three sessions January 3 to 5, 2024.

Bailey Oaks Farm
The Alvin equestrian center offers a three-day horseback riding camp from December 27 through 29. Children will learn the basics of riding, along with how to to groom, tack, and care for their animals. No riding experience is necessary. Riding camp is recommended for children 5 to 12 and the cost is $375.

Main Street Theater
In the theater's Winter Break turbo camps, offered through January 5, kids ages 6 to 12 will create an original play, help produce their own costumes and props, and play theater games to sharpen their skills in voice, body, imagination. The cost is $75 per day.

Main Street Theater winter camp Act out at Main Street Theater's winter camp.Photo via Main Street Theater

Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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