weekend event planner

Here are the top 12 things to do in Houston this Christmas weekend

Cirque Dreams Holidaze leaps into town for a holiday spectacle.

Cirque Dreams/Facebook

Editor's note: By now, most in the Greater Houston area are ready to hunker down as the arctic freeze approaches. While we've listed events on Thursday (when the freeze hits) and Friday (another frigid day), many or all are expected to be canceled due to weather. Check social and event pages for updates.

As the weekend warms, holiday offerings abound, including movie fun and a visit from Cirque du Soleil before and on Christmas Eve and some quintessential H-Town events on Christmas Day.

Above all, we urge you to stay safe and warm. Whether you're staying in or venturing out, we wish you the happiest holiday season.

Thursday, December 22

Community Artists' Collective presents Ashé Holiday Market

It’s that time of year, when the Community Artists’ Collective helps out those who are still looking for last-minute gifts to give their loved ones on Sunday. The Midtown art temple will present its 15th annual Ashé Holiday Market, featuring artistic and unique gift items made by local artists. The market will be open to the public Thursdays-Saturdays, and by appointment through December 31. Noon.

Museum of Fine Arts, Houston presents Animation Show of Shows

Timely, beautiful, and poignant, the annual Animation Show of Shows is back. This curated selection comprises the “best of the best” animated short films by students and professionals around the world. Featuring films from 10 countries (including Germany, France, Switzerland and, of course, the USA), the 22nd edition offers an array of highly imaginative, thought-provoking, and moving works that reflect the filmmakers’ unique perspectives and their relationships to the world. Recommended for ages 12+. 6 pm.

Improv Houston presents Ali Siddiq

One of Houston’s own will be giving people some holiday laughs before Christmas Day pops off. Ali Siddiq has traveled the comedy circuit for over 15 years using wit, thought-provoking punch lines, life experiences, and perfect comedic timing to engage diverse, racial, economic, and cultural audiences through standup as a headliner and through multiple other mediums as a writer, producer, and host. 7:30 pm (7:30 and 9:45 pm Friday).

Friday, December 23

Performing Arts Houston presents Cirque Dreams Holidaze

This annual tradition wraps a Broadway-style production around an infusion of contemporary circus arts. As lights dim and the music swells, audiences will have visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads as a fantastical cast of holiday storybook characters come to life. Singers, dancers, penguins, toy soldiers, and reindeer invoke the dreams behind a child’s eye on the most magical of nights. Amidst a backdrop of new sets, scenery, and storylines, this family-friendly production is sure to put a twinkle in your eye! 4 & 8 pm (11 am and 3 pm Saturday).

The Music Box Theater presents A Beatles Holiday Cabaret

Before this dips out next weekend, you might as well check out The Music Box Theater’s holiday-concert mashup of Christmas standards and Beatles classics. Song selections include some of the group’s original Christmas/Beatles mash-ups, such as “In My Life/Christmas Canon,” “O Come All Ye Faithful/Revolution,” “Golden Slumbers/O Holy Night/In the End” and “The Long and Winding Road/I’ll Be Home for Christmas.” 7:30 pm.

Psycho Killer Vinyl Release Party/Giveaway at Numbers Nightclub

DJ Wes Wallace will be up to his ol’ Classic Numbers shenanigans on Friday, but he’ll be adding a special treat. Just in time for Christmas, Wallace will be throwing a record-release listening party for his blue-moon marble vinyl Psycho Killer EP. He’ll also be giving away some deluxe vinyl packages and other goodies. New Christmas drink specials will be served until 10 pm, and yes – heat will be blowing all through this piece! 9 pm.

Saturday, December 24

Grinchy Celebration at Houston Farmers Market

This Saturday is the last chance for people to get all Grinchy with it this holiday season. The Houston Farmers Market has gone with a Grinch Who Stole Christmas vibe this year. Bring the kiddos, take your picture with the meanest citizen of Whoville, and see if the Grinch’s heart grows a few sizes. Hopefully, the Market will also play some music from that animated 2018 The Grinch, composed by – believe it or not! – Tyler, the Creator. 11 am.

The Muppet Christmas Carol Brunch at Wild Oats

Wild Oats, the Texas-inspired, family-friendly restaurant in the Houston Farmers Market, will host their Muppet Christmas Carol-themed brunch on Christmas Eve! Catch the classic movie at one of two showings. Make your reservations so your family and friends can enjoy the Muppet-themed menu, including Al-Gonzo's Texas meat and cheese board, smoked turkey legs with Kermit’s Joplin’ John with crowder peas and Miss Figgy pudding. $50 per adult ($35 per child, free for kids 3 years old and under). 11 am & 3 pm.

The Riot Comedy Show presents Saturday Night Late Show

This promises the most unpredictable and chaotic showtime in the comedy scene. Audiences will feel immersed in an intimate late-night crowd where everyone is loose and ready to have fun. The show will include a hot lineup of standup comedians both local and visiting. So, spend Christmas Eve keeping yourself warm by getting your laugh on! (There will also be a New Year’s Eve next Saturday.) 11 pm.

Sunday, December 25

Christmas Day Slabfest

If you have a lovely little ride that you’ve been meaning to show off this holiday season, here we have this Christmas Day block party that’ll be going down over at MacGregor Park, presented by Still Grinding Entertainment. All car clubs and bikers are welcome at this afternoon shindig. You can bring tents, lawn chairs, dogs, cats, whatever. Remember, there’s nothing wrong with spending the holiest of holidays checking out all the fly slabs that’ll be showing up. 2 pm.

Drink the Tree at The Rustic Post Oak

Over at The Rustic’s Post Oak location, come deck the halls and drink the tree! They will be open on Christmas evening for their annual celebration of eating hot tamales and drinking cold beer. Guests can “drink the tree” by choosing from an assortment of beers on The Rustic’s original, beer bottle Christmas tree, and their kitchen will be serving homemade tamales from open to close. Admission is free with an RSVP. 5 pm.

The Continental Club’s Annual Christmas Show

Now in its seventh year, the Continental Club has been throwing a free Christmas show guaranteed to get people jumping after a day of gift-giving, turkey-consuming and possible relative fisticuffs. The band that’ll be kicking the yuletide jams this evening will be Houston’s own Molly & the Ringwalds. Needless to say, they are a party band that specializes in ‘80s music. So, come spread cheer, joy, and mirth all in one evening. 8 pm.

Movie Review

Onslaught's brutal mix of horror, action, comedy can't find its footing

Photo courtesy of A24

Adria Arjona in Onslaught.

The most important thing for any movie to establish early on is its tone. No matter the genre, a film needs to make its audience understand how they should feel as the story unfolds so that they’re willing to go along with whatever transpires on screen. A film that doesn't do that, such as the new Onslaught, runs the risk of failing to connect with viewers even if it has some interesting or fun elements to offer.

One of the biggest issues for the movie is that it fails to fully invest in its main character, Celeste (Adriana Arjona). She’s a military veteran who now lives in and manages a desert trailer park, which is filled with a motley crew of offbeat people. She also has a contentious relationship with her ex, who unexpectedly drops off their daughter, Daisy (Blake Kennedy), soon after the film begins.

Celeste has a stash of high-powered weapons, showing she hasn’t left her former career fully behind. Her expertise comes in handy when something goes wrong at a nearby military contractor facility run by Hans Kemmler (Dan Stevens), and a trio of super soldiers escapes into the wild. Trained to kill everyone in their path, it’s not long before they set their glowing eyes on the trailer park.

Directed by Adam Wingard and written by Simon Barrett, the film has elements of horror, action, and comedy, but the filmmakers struggle in finding the right combination of the three. Wingard and Barrett divide the film’s focus between the trailer park and the military facility for a long time at the beginning of the film, and the quirkiness of people at the former mixed with the bold weirdness of the people at the latter keep viewers off balance in a bad way.

Once they finally settle into the main part of the story where the super soldiers go on a rampage, the filmmakers overpromise and underdeliver. The showdown between a seemingly unstoppable group and an angry woman and her band of misfits seems destined to be highly entertaining, but comes off as underwhelming. The sequence is filled with brutality with no meaning and heroics that feel more accidental than purposeful.

The ham-fisted way in which the story plays out is disappointing since the film has a bunch of characters who could have been great if used properly. The trauma of Celeste’s military career and personal life are hinted at, but don’t come into play as much as expected. Hans and his wife Hanna (Rebecca Hall) are completely off-the-wall, but their eccentricities seem to be apropos of nothing. The super soldiers are initially intimidating, but the climactic sequence undercuts them significantly.

Arjona has yet to fully break out despite some good roles in Hit Man and the Disney+ show Andor. She makes for a good lead here, embodying the toughness of a military veteran while still being relatable. Stevens and Hall go all in with their bonkers characters, but the story doesn’t serve them well. Comic relief comes in the form of Reginald VelJohnson and Eric Wareheim, and they do a great job in smaller roles.

A movie like Onslaught is typically one where the audience just turns off their brains and enjoys the carnage. But Wingard and Barrett try a little too hard by throwing in oddball characters that don’t add much to the story, forgetting to pay enough attention to the mechanics of the plot in the process.

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Onslaught opens in theaters on September 4.

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