The Big Event

Updated with more listings: The procrastinator's guide to New Year's Eve inHouston

Pierre Peters Cuvée de Réserve Brut Blanc de Blancs Champagne
Photo courtesy of Pierre Peters
Bocelli Prosecco
Photo courtesy of Bocelli Wines
Fratelli Berlucchi Rose
Photo courtesy of Fratelli Berlucchi
Whether with Champagne or another sparkling wine, New Year's Eve calls for atoast.
Toni Blay/Flickr

UPDATE: We can never include every NYE event around town, but we've been adding as new spots hit our radar. Keep checking back for the latest.

Whether you're just looking for a great meal before heading to a house party (or to ring in the year with someone special and Ryan Seacrest), or searching for an all-out, all-night shindig, we've wrapped up some great options for bringing in a memorable 2010.

Restaurant Specials

Whether you are planning to party downtown or just finished watching the Rockets take on the Mavs, enjoy a dinner in the park with The Grove's a la carte menu or special 3-course dinner.
Foodie fave Catalan and lively Ibiza are ringing in the new year with none of the assigned seating times or prix fixe menus, just the same great food and wine as the rest of the year.
Popular new kid on the block Yelapa Playa Mexicana is pulling out all the stops with a six-course dinner of south of the border seafood-heavy faves (think gazpacho, bolinhos, and spiced guava pork) in two seatings for $78 ($108 with wine pairings).
Wine lovers won't want to miss the four-course Texas-Provence dinner at Mockingbird Bistro to be paired with the award-winning wine list. $75/person
Can't decide between dining and clubbing? Hit up Straits for a retro Singaporean five-course meal, a DJ, drink specials from Belvedere Vodka and Veuve Clicquot, plus a front row seat for the CityCentre entertainment featuring The Texas Blues Brothers tribute band and fireworks at midnight. $75/person plus $20 cover after 11 p.m.
Start out an evening in Midtown with a five- or six-course meal at t'afia with plenty of options to choose from. $65-$75/person
For a break from prix fixe rules, hit the ever-fabulous RDG + Bar Annie for open seating and the full bar and grill menus, plus a special burgers and breakfast menu starting at 11 p.m.
Enjoy a continental New Year with a sumptuous three-course classic French feast and live music at Humble's Chez Nous. $75-$125/person
Whether spent on the patio (decked out with space heaters in chilly weather) or the cozy upstairs annex, finish out 2009 with the four-course meal at Backstreet Café. $69/person
It's hard to pick the high point of New Year's Eve at Hugo's, between the four-course dinner, live music by Viento and the special after-dinner coffee concoction of espresso, steamed milk, piloncillo, cinnamon and brandy called, ironically, The Drowsy Chaperone. $69/person
The world's a cabaret at SoVino, with a cabaret-style performance by Bubba and Greg, plus a four-course prix fixe menu offered in addition to the a la carte menu. Prix fixe dinner, $45-$55/person
Bistro Provence has something for everyone, three-course dinners served in an abbreviated early bird seating and three more leisurely seatings. $48-$70/person
Ring in the new year Italian-style at Valentino, with two dinner menu options ($80 or $110) alongside Valentino's famous wine list.
Celebrate New Year's Eve in style by the bay in Seabrook at Bailey's American Grille. Enjoy a five-course meal of mouthwatering upscale American favorites, dancing in the private event room to jazz and funk by the Grady Gaines band, a midnight breakfast buffet and a shuttle to local hotels. $115/person, $200/couple

Parties/Events

The St. Regis lets you pick your party, choosing between an early 5-course dinner at The Remington with live entertainment and dancing ($95/person), a later 4-course meal that adds a bottle of champagne ($185/person) or simply hors d'oeuvres, dancing and a midnight toast in the Remington Bar ($20/person)
The Hobby Center is throwing a "Dance in the Decade" shindig at Artista, with a 4-course dinner, champagne, raffles and music by Mango Punch. $135/person
Have a thoroughly modern new year at Hotel ZaZa's "Bubbles and Babes" roaring '20s-themed bash, featuring flappers, surprise performances, silent movie screenings, a five-course dinner at Monarch and plenty of booze. From $350 per couple
Ladies, time to practice bowling in that miniskirt: New Year's Eve at Lucky Strike Lanes includes call bar, appetizer and dessert buffets, champagne toast, and DJ for $60/person and $100/couple, plus bowling and shoe rental.
The PYTs will be partying at Vintage Lounge with an open bar and tunes by The Handsomes and DJ Melodic and Young $quaddy. $75 for advance tickets and $100 at the door, plus groups can pay $300 for a table with unlimited non-super-premium bottle service.
Get the best of everything with Hotel Icon NYE packages, including a 5-course meal at Voice, a luxe overnight stay, champagne delivered to your room and a swinging lobby party. Starting at $220 per room.
Assuming a flight to Monte Carlo is not in the cards, find all the same perks in the La Torretta Lake Resort New Year's Celebration, with hors d'oeuvres, gourmet dinner stations, a casino, live music, a DJ and karaoke, plus reasonable room deals. And forget the babysitter: for $20 per child, kids can enjoy their own party with a buffet, guitar hero contest, movies and games. Party $90/person, rooms from $309 per couple including two party tickets.
Keep it chic with NYE at the Red Room, with fierce DJs spinning, drink specials, and a champagne toast, of course. $100/person
Have a killer New Year's at Keith and Margo's Third Annual New Year's Celebration at the Renaissance Houston Hotel. After the modern, interactive whodunit, enjoy a gourmet dinner, reception, dancing to DJ-spun tunes, and an optional room to crash in. From $139/person
The Black Carpet NYE Party at The Tasting Room in Uptown Park combines wine lovers, hors d'oeuvres, live music, and, of course, champagne. $50/person
There's something for everyone at Warehouse Live and Sportsmonkey's BLT party—that's black tie, lingerie and togas—with multiple DJs and live music from Adrenaline and The Spicolis. $89/person
Party on the wild Veranda at Alden-Houston Hotel with an open bar, a Times Square simulcast and breakfast bites and coffee from *17, and you can start the evening with a five-course dinner at *17, and end it at a+ or in one of Alden's guest suite. From $100/person
For a more chill Eve, hit 13 Celsius, celebrating its third anniversary with its signature understated cool, including a birthday cake, champagne and a new art installation by Jonathan Leach. $15/person
Houston's largest NYE party is at the Hyatt Regency Houston, with three floors of festivities including tunes by Mary's Band, The Argyles, DJ 33 1/3, a special VIP room and a 50,000 balloon cascade at midnight. From $299 per room.

And don't forget to get the party started early with the Culturemap-sponsored Eve of New Year's Eve party at House of Blues on Dec. 30, featuring a disco frenzy in the Foundation Room after a HOB concert by Le Freak. Get free admission with a concert ticket stub or by emailing julialarson@livenation.com and mentioning Culturemap.

Looking to listen to music to bring in the New Year? Click here for our New Year's Eve concert picks.

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Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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