weekend event planner

Here are the top 8 things to do in Houston this weekend

Don your ugly sweater and catch a screening of the beloved holiday classic, A Christmas Story.

We're at the halfway mark to Christmas, which means a ton of holiday-themed events. Think movie screenings, caroling, and even horses (more on that soon). Here are your best bets for the weekend.

Thursday, December 12

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Movie Party at Alamo Drafthouse LaCenterra
Alamo Drafthouse LaCenterra will be showing several holiday-themed films this weekend: Love Actually, Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence, The Holiday and, of course, the classic A Christmas Story. But it's kicking things off with a screening of the 1989 yuletide installment of the Griswold saga, where Chevy Chase stars as a incessantly incompetent dad who tries to give his family a good, memorable time for the holidays. 7:30 pm.

Natasha Leggero and Moshe Kasher at Improv Houston
Natasha Leggero and Moshe Kasher are a married pair of comedians who each have some impressive credits. Leggero co-created and stars in the Comedy Central period-piece farce Another Period, while Kasher is best known for co-hosting the now-defunct podcast The Champs with Neal Brennan. But ever since they got together for their Netflix special The Honeymoon Standup Special (where Leggero was pregnant with their first child), they realized they work better as a team. 8 pm (7:30 and 9:45 pm Friday; 7 and 9:30 pm Saturday).

Friday, December 13

Crockett Kids Orchestra at Understory
Construction/development company Skanska will be hosting up to 40 pint-size prodigies from Crockett Elementary for a festive lunchtime performance on The Great Steps of Understory in Bank of America Tower. The local community will have the chance to support these up-and-coming artists through a fundraiser by Skanska, which will help supply much-needed instruments and equipment. This will be both an educational experience for students and the chance to support one of Houston’s extraordinary performing arts programs. Noon.

Budweiser Clydesdales at Space Center Houston
We've already talked about Space Center Houston lighting things up this holiday season with its new, Galaxy Lights experience. But, this weekend, the Budweiser Clydesdales will be around making things even more festive. Eight, high-stepping horses, measuring up to six feet tall and weighing more than 2,000 pounds, will be parading around Space Center Houston’s entrance with president/CEO William T. Harris and resident mascot Commander Quest riding the hitch. 6-8 pm.

Saturday, December 14

Dixie's Never Wear A Tube Top While Riding A Mechanical Bull at Hobby Center for the Performing Arts
Since the title is definitely a mouthful, we were curious about what this obviously over-the-top show is all about. It appears this is the latest production to star Dixie Longate, the fast-talking, gum-chewing, ginger-haired Alabama gal who previously won over off-Broadway audiences with Dixie's Tupperware Party. This one has her giving hysterical life-lessons learned after a hard night of drinking. And, apparently, a box of moon pies and a cardboard cutout of Julie Andrews is involved. Runs through December 22. 2 and 8 pm (1 and 5 pm Sunday).

Keeper of Atlantis & the Cryptographers at Cactus Music
This will be the one and only show of Houston's own Ramon "LP4" Medina, also known as Keeper of Atlantis. A member of psychedelic rock group The Linus Pauling Quartet for nearly a quarter of a century before the band parted ways, he'll be performing and promoting two new releases he's done with his backup band, the Cryptographers. Both albums, which consists of home studio recordings and other misfit songs, will be available for sale with bonus assorted goodies from the LP4 vaults. 1 pm.

Sunday, December 15

A Christmas Story Market & Movie Night at Karbach Brewing Co.
Karbach Brewing Co. is getting in the holiday swing of things with its Christmas holiday market. Guests can get some holiday shopping done at the Shop Local Market in the Biergarten and enjoy an ugly-sweater contest, Rock-A-Bully Christmas pet portraits, art stations for kids, and oh-so-much-more. Following the market, Alamo Drafthouse will bring out the big inflatable Rolling Roadshow and be pouring the beer for a screening of A Christmas Story at 6. Noon.

The Gumbo Jam at Shoeshine Charley's Big Top Lounge
This weekly, Louisiana-inspired jam session is home to all things funky and groovy. Singers, rappers, poets, musicians, and horn players from all over can show up and party to the loose, laid-back vibe of #TeamHornSection and The Gumbo Band. Come be a part of this social and musical gumbo — while also eating the best gumbo in Houston. Anybody down with the Cajun stuff — whether it's music or cuisine — should be down with this. 8:30 pm.

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Movie Review

Action-packed Kraven the Hunter showcases gritty Marvel antihero

Photo by Jay Maidment

Aaron Taylor-Johnson in Kraven the Hunter.

One of the oddest things about the blockbuster era we live in is that while Disney owns the rights to the majority of Marvel comic book characters, Sony Pictures owns the rights to Spider-Man and any affiliated characters. Since they’re sharing Spider-Man himself with Disney, Sony has been trying to capitalize on those rights by making stand-alone films using niche characters that only comic book fanatics would know.

Having exhausted Venom and whiffed on attempts with Morbius and Madame Web, they’re trying again with Kraven the Hunter. Also known as Sergei Kravinoff, Kraven (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) is a self-styled vigilante who, as the film tells it, travels the world exacting vengeance on the truly bad people of the world. He’s the son of Nikolai (Russell Crowe), a hard-edged Russian oligarch, and brother to Dmitri (Fred Hechinger), who is relatively weak compared to the rest of his family.

The origin story has Kraven gaining his animal-like powers - including super-strength, speed, and jumping abilities - as a teenager from a mysterious serum given to him by a girl named Calypso (played as an adult by Ariana DeBose) after he was mauled by a lion. The two maintain a tenuous partnership as adults, with Calypso helping him hunt down other villains like Aleksei Sytsevich (Alessandro Nivola) and The Foreigner (Christopher Abbott).

Directed by J.C. Chandor and written by Richard Wenk, Art Marcum, and Matt Holloway, the film looks and feels enormously lazy, something made merely to hold on to potentially valuable intellectual property. Other than the tense family dynamic between the Kravinovs, little makes sense in the story. Kraven has an indecipherable moral code that has him going after poachers - because he’s part lion? - in addition to other high-powered criminals, with no clear goal except to … get back at his father?

The laziness extends to the action scenes, which feature Kraven being mostly impervious to any damage, whether it’s hand-to-hand combat, knives, or guns. The CGI-heavy scenes don’t even allow moviegoers to enjoy an R-rated bloody free-for-all, as all of the blood splatter is computer-generated, too. Since apparently one Spider-Man villain is not enough, three others make appearances with abilities that are under-explained and CGI that is poorly done.

That’s not even counting Calypso, another Spider-Man villain whose purpose in this film is nebulous at best. Her early connection with Kraven is so coincidental as to be laughable, and her continued reasons for helping him as an adult strain credulity as well. The only saving grace of her presence is that the filmmakers don’t try to shoehorn romance into the plot; perhaps they’re saving that for the (inevitable?) sequel.

Taylor-Johnson has had one of the most prolific-yet-anonymous careers in modern Hollywood, with appearances in big films like The Fall Guy, Bullet Train, and Tenet that have made very little impact. Even as the star here, he fails to hold your attention, with the story and visuals doing him no favors. DeBose has followed up her Oscar win for West Side Story with schlock like I.S.S., Argylle, and this, which doesn’t bode well for her career. At least Crowe gets to chew the scenery.

With a contractual inability to mention the name “Spider-Man,” movies like Kraven the Hunter exist in a weird area that forces filmmakers to make up stories for characters to which most people have no attachment. And just like Sony’s previous efforts, it is a very poor way to spend two hours in a movie theater; avoid at all costs.

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Kraven the Hunter opens in theaters on December 13.

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