weekend event planner

Here are the top 14 things to do in Houston this weekend

Sip, stroll, and score some local works at Art on the Avenue.

Photo courtesy of Art on the Avenue

By rights, Houston should be celebrating an Astros World Series victory. Alas, it was not meant to be, but plenty of activities vie for your attention on this crisp, sunny weekend.

Look for a massive art sale and experience, myriad art openings, live music, exotic cars, and a disco dinner. Here are your best bets for the weekend.

Thursday, November 4

Art on the Avenue
With nearly 500 original works from more than 250 local artists, Art on the Avenue is Houston's “buy local” fundraiser. This year’s Art on the Avenue will be a hybrid event, offering Houstonians the opportunity to attend and bid online or in-person during open exhibition hours. Thursday night's exclusive preview event will offer art enthusiasts the first look at the exhibition and sale, which continues with a party on Friday and open hours on Saturday. 6 pm (10 am Saturday).

The Menil Collection presents Marion Barthelme Lecture Series: Hilton Als
The Menil Collection will host writer, critic, and curator Hilton Als as the speaker for the museum’s Marion Barthelme Lecture Series. Based on his primary research at the Menil Archives and in the museum’s collection, the talks will explore the history and cultural context of the exhibition "Some American History." If you were a fan of Als’ writing in The New Yorker or his memorable 2013 book of essays White Girls, this is worth checking out. 6 pm.

Buffalo Bayou Partnership Gala: Connecting Houston
This gala will honor BBP Board Members Rev. Harvey Clemons, Jr., Anne Whitlock and Gloria Zenteno for their leadership in spearheading the organization’s diversity and equity initiatives. It will also celebrate BBP’s dedication to creating and stewarding vibrant parks and trails for all Houstonians to enjoy. Proceeds from this fundraising event will allow Buffalo Bayou Partnership to continue transforming, activating, and maintaining Buffalo Bayou along the 10-mile stretch from Shepherd Drive to the Port of Houston Turning Basin. 6:30 pm.

Friday, November 5

The Moody Center for the Arts presents Jasmine Hearn
Jasmine Hearn’s durational solo, N I L E : Red Riverbed Run Deep Witness Root, will be presented in the Moody galleries and terrace, and features movement, contemplation, singing, and sound. A three-time Bessie Award-winner, Hearn presents this interactive dance performance in conjunction with the fall exhibition, Kapwani Kiwanga: "The Sand Recalls the Moon’s Shadow." 5:30 pm.

Houston Police Foundation presents 13th Annual True Blue Gala
The annual True Blue Gala, hosted by Houston Police Foundation Chairman Tilman Fertitta and Police Chief Troy Finner, is an evening benefiting the heroic men and women of the Houston Police Department. Funds from this event help provide advanced training, specialized equipment, and much needed technology. This year’s gala will feature training demonstrations from HPD’s elite units, including SWAT, Bomb Squad, Helicopter, the Special Response Group, K-9, Mounted Patrol, Solo Motorcycles, and a host of others. 7 pm.

Houston Symphony presents Wonderful World: The Louis Armstrong Songbook
With his magnetic charisma, expressive scat singing, and incredible trumpet skills, Louis Armstrong changed music forever and made the whole world smile. Audiences can travel back to the golden age of jazz as Byron Stripling salutes Satchmo with recreations of iconic hits like “What a Wonderful World,” “Basin Street Blues,” “Mack the Knife,” and “Hello Dolly.” The Saturday performance will be available to livestream. 8 pm (2:30 pm Sunday).

Saturday, November 6

Foto Relevance presents Xuan-Hui Ng: "Interludes" opening day
The Singaporean, Tokyo-based artist's serendipitous landscapes capture transient moments of beauty within the vastness of nature. Propelled to begin creating art as a way to seek solace from loss, the artistʼs desire to preserve this fleeting beauty mirrors a desire to preserve precious memories in the same manner. These quiet scenes offer a shared sense of tranquility to the viewer, an invitation to be part of a deeply personal moment, and a universal appreciation of the world we live in. On display through Saturday, January 8. 11 am.

Cross Creek Ranch presents Gumbo Cook-Off
“Krewes” will go head-to-head at Cross Creek Ranch to see which gumbo recipe reigns supreme during a Gumbo Cook-Off benefitting the Fulshear Police Foundation. Attendees will be able to taste and vote on their favorite gumbos while enjoying live Zydeco music, live and silent auctions, food vendors, classic cars, fire trucks, police vehicles, games, and more. Admission is free. 1 pm.

Houston Early Music presents The Art of Counterpoint: Bach & Zelenka
Houston Early Music will present a performance by Kleine Kammermusik, an ensemble known for creating events with a historic flavor. Kleine Kammermusik's concert will showcase woodwind chamber gems from two High Baroque figures: Johann Sebastian Bach and Jan Dismas Zelenka. Each composer has a legacy of profound counterpoint — setting different melodic lines against each other — and also for brilliant melody, deft harmonic interplay and musical drama. 7:30 pm.

Sunday, November 7

Houston Exotic Auto Festival
Houston Exotic Auto Festival is the city's ultimate show of private exotic automobiles, luxury dealerships, high-end aftermarket, and elite non-automotive brands. Exotic and ultra-luxury car owners and collectors will enjoy the unique opportunity to celebrate their masterpieces in front of the most enthusiastic and demanding audience. Trophies and prizes will be awarded to the best automobiles, SUVs, off-road, and motorcycles in Houston under various categories. 11 am.

Italian Cultural & Community Center Open House
The Italian Cultural & Community Center will host an afternoon of all things Italian at their Open House. Visitors can meet the staff, discover the magic of the Italian language through demo classes, play Italian tombola, mingle with native speakers, listen to arias performed by UH Moores School of Music students, and grab a drink and light refreshments. One lucky guest will go home with a special prize. 2 pm.

Xin Chao One Year Anniversary
Xin Chào is turning one, and they’re celebrating by throwing a big, one-year anniversary bash. There will be free food, prizes, games, and a lion dance at 6 pm to bring good fortune in the upcoming year (and let’s be serious—we can all use a little luck right about now). Also, in addition to a few tried-and-true favorites, Xin Chào will be serving a special menu consisting of brand new items — fried rice with your choice of lobster or smoked beef rib, grilled mushroom skewers, salmon crudo, and crème brulée. 3 pm.

Seventh Anniversary Party at Julep
Alba Huerta's Southern-inspired cocktail bar will celebrate its birthday with some of America's best bartenders and a one-night only pop-up that's can't-miss for spirits lovers. From 6 - 9 pm, visiting bartenders — including Speed Rack co-founder Lynnette Marrero, Chicago's Nandini Khaund, Imbibe magazine bartender of the year winner Meaghan Dorman, and cocktail expert Kellie Thorn — will take their turns behind the bar. From 9 - midnight, Licorería Limantour, the Mexico City establishment ranked among the world's very best cocktail bars, will take over with a special menu. 4 pm.

Berg Hospitality Group presents Supper Club at The Annie | Disco Inferno
Put your boogie shoes on for our next Supper Club featuring Disco Inferno songs by the Richard Brown Orchestra, with singers Kelley Peters, Bob Luna, Evelyn Rubio and Clayton Mabin. Don your favorite disco/'70s attire and join our special guest and emcee, Derrick Shore, for a fantastic night with a delicious, 3-course prix-fixe meal by executive chef Robert Del Grande and chef de cuisine Jose Valencia. 5 pm.

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Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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