weekend event planner

Here are the top 8 things to do in Houston this weekend

Sip and stroll at Brenner’s on the Bayou’s annual fall wine fest.

Photo courtesy of Brenner's on the Bayou

This weekend sees the triumphant return of The FOMO Factory, and at Alamo Drafthouse LaCenterra, the trendy multiplex is launching a new film festival: Graveyard Fest.

Starting on Thursday, this four-day fest will feature a slew of horror-themed flicks (just in time for Halloween!), including classic chillers (David Cronenberg's Rabid), much-buzzed-about thrillers (Knives and Skin) and, for opening night, a "Twinkie Feast" screening of Zombieland: Double Tap.

Of course, there's plenty more fun on tap for this weekend.

Thursday, October 17

Are You Smarter Than a Breakthrough Student! at Saint Arnold Brewing Company
Education program Breakthrough Houston is looking for folks to test their knowledge in a quiz bowl, with questions taken from Breakthrough’s middle school curriculum. Gow Media CEO, David Gow, and Carla Dawson — the hosts of The Boss and The Gloss show — will serve as quizmasters for the evening.

This features three rounds of trivia, with the top two tables competing against a table of Breakthrough 8th graders for the prize. Guests will enjoy an Oktoberfest menu from the Saint Arnold kitchen, plus plenty of beer and wine. 6-9 pm.

13th Floor Media and Influencer Night Houston
The outfit known as 13th Floor is out here ready to freak people out with this media and influencer night. VIPs will gain access to the main haunt, an axe-throwing class from Sister Axe Throwing Company, escape areas, and a VIP lounge and bar area, sponsored by Devil's River Whiskey. Cameras, cell phones, and other devices will not be permitted inside the haunt without previous coordination. Photography will be welcome outside on the surrounding premises. 7:30 pm.

Friday, October 18

Fandemic Tour on NRG Center
Fandemic is officially upon us, and let us rattle off the stars that'll be at this three-day event: Sebastian Stan, Milo Ventimiglia, The Phelps Twins, Sean Astin, Jon Bernthal, Emmy Raver-Lampman, Tom Hopper, a Buffy reunion, stars from Game of Thrones, The Umbrella Academy, and more. It's an entertainment extravaganza celebrating all things pop culture, gathering celebrities, artists, illustrators, professional and amateur cosplayers, vendors, and exhibitors with programming and panel discussions. 3 pm (10 am Friday and Saturday).

The Network's Annual Erotic Ball at Cle Houston
The Network's Erotic Ball is here for those freaky-sneaky Houstonians who want to get all hanky-spanky for an evening. Now in its tenth year, the ball is a two-night event that embraces all that is adult-oriented, but with a classy and upscale twist. Attendees can enjoy live music, DJs, erotic performers, exotic dancers and wild sideshows, and partake in playful interactive fun. 9 pm (10 pm Saturday).

Saturday, October 19

Brenner's on the Bayou Wine Festival
Wine aficionados are invited to stop and smell the rosé at Brenner’s on the Bayou’s annual fall wine fest. Guests will be able to sip on the exquisite collection from 18 exclusive wineries (J. Lohr Vineyards, Premium Ports, Francis Ford Coppola Winery, and more) and stroll around the scenic grounds.

Live music comes courtesy of the new Blue Bar, and several of Landry’s chefs will be on-hand to prepare and share signature light bites from seven of Houston’s top restaurants to pair with these exceptional wines. 3 pm.

Halloween Edition Silent Disco at 40 Below
The recently revamped underground “Premium Experience” lounge and bar known as 40 Below (located under Revention Music Center) will have a special edition Silent Disco this weekend.

It's Halloween-themed, which means there will be themed drink specials and games and a costume contest with contest-ticket prize packages. Of course, once you get your pair of Quiet Events headphones, you'll get to hear six local DJ’s spinning a mix of EDM, hip-hop, Latin, Top 40, and more. 9 pm.

Sunday, October 20

Cigna Sunday Streets at Spring Branch
This month, Cigna Sunday Streets will be ib Spring Branch, on Mathewson Lane between Gessner Road and Conrad Sauer Drive and Conrad Sauer Drive between Mathewson Lane and Westview Drive. It's also home to the new Conrad Sauer Detention Basin and pedestrian walking trails.

There will be two new additions – the first 250 attendees will receive $10 food vouchers to use with participating vendors and an area for people to try the Instagram-worthy Goat Yoga (yoga practiced in the presence of — and in tandem with — live goats). Noon-4 pm.

Experience Hendrix at Revention Music Center
Now in its second decade, Experience Hendrix celebrates the musical genius of Jimi Hendrix by bringing together a diverse array of extraordinary musicians, ranging from Joe Satriani to Buddy Guy, as well as Jonny Lang, Dweezil Zappa, Eric Johnson, and many others. Billy Cox, bassist for both the Jimi Hendrix Experience and Band of Gypsys, anchors the rhythm section. 8 pm.

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Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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