Finding a surprising lack of Osteen's comedic work on the book market, Christian writer Don Pasco decided to take matters into his own hands and self publish a collection of the Osteen's greatest hits.
For a mere $2.99, fans now can get some of Osteen's best material in a single Amazon e-book.
Highlights include the one about the burglar who was told by a parrot that "Jesus was watching" as he tries to steal a stereo.
Parrot: I'm just trying to warn you. Burglar: Warn me about what? Who are you? Parrot: My name is Moses. Burglar: What kind of crazy people would name a parrot Moses? Parrot: The same kind of people that would name a 150-pound Rottweiler, "Jesus."
The book squeezes in two dozen more gems that manage to lampoon everyone from kindergartners to senior citizens. Not even the late Pope John Paul II escapes Osteen's quick wit.
Pasco — a Baltimore native who "played drums and sang in a Top 40 band" during the 1970s, according to his Amazon bio — clearly states that the book is "for entertainment purposes only."
Unfortunately, Osteen's legal team sees little humor in the unauthorized enterprise. Lakewood Church is reviewing the book for possible copyright infringements.
Houston pastor and comedian Joel Osteen is the subject of a new unauthorized joke book.
WGNMagazine
Houston pastor and comedian Joel Osteen is the subject of a new unauthorized joke book.
Gromit, Norbot, and Wallace in Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl.
Of all the characters that Aardman Animations has produced over the years using their stop motion clay animation technique, Wallace & Gromit have proven to be their most enduring. First seen in a 1989 short film, they have gone on to star in three more shorts, two TV series, and two feature films, including the new Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl.
Wallace (voiced by Ben Whitehead) has always been known for his zany inventions, but he’s arguably at his zaniest in this film, which opens with a Rube Goldberg-like sequence featuring multiple machines that do all the work to get Wallace out of bed and down to the breakfast table. All of the contraptions are clearly unnecessary, but Wallace is oblivious to that fact, as well as to how they often negatively impact his dog/partner, Gromit.
His latest big thing is Norbot (Reece Shearsmith), a smart robot he designed to help Gromit with the drudgery of tending to his garden (even though Gromit likes doing the work). Feathers McGraw, a penguin imprisoned after Wallace & Gromit caught him trying to steal a large diamond, uses his technical skills to start a revenge plot, taking over Norbot’s programming and unleashing it to do his bidding.
Directed by Nick Park and Merlin Crossingham and written by Mark Burton, the film is yet another reminder of the brilliance Aardman is able to conjure through their dedication to an arduous animation technique and clever storytelling.
It can not be overstated how much effort goes into making even the smallest character movements, something that takes uncountable hours to craft a 79-minute film like this (watch this video for just a taste of that work). And then consider that it’s not just characters, but things like shuffling papers, steam coming out of a boat engine, and water(!). The skill they have for this very specific artistry is on full display throughout, making each frame a joy to see.
But all of that labor would be for naught if they didn’t pair it with a great story. Feathers, making his long-awaited return after appearing in a short film 31 years ago, is a fantastic bad guy, with the lack of expression on his face somehow making him seem even more villainous. The film also has a sly commentary on how modern technology offers conveniences that are often more trouble than they’re worth, a fun addition to Wallace’s litany of superfluous inventions.
It’s the small details that really put the film over the top, though. In addition to the animation, the filmmakers insert numerous blink-and-you’ll-miss-it touches that aid the humor. They include an allusion to Cape Fear when Feathers is put in jail, a hilarious list of options when Feathers switches Norbot from good to evil (including “Pleasant,” “Boorish,” and “Bit Selfish”), and many more. All of them show the thought put into every second of the film, making viewers have to pay constant attention to catch all the little jokes.
Aardman’s recent film efforts like Early Man and Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget have not been their finest work, but going back to the well of Wallace & Gromit proves to be the boost they needed. The familiarity of the characters, the incorporation of the modern world into one that’s a little more old-fashioned, and the staggering animation is a combination that proves difficult to resist.
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Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl debuts on Netflix on January 3.
