Beyond The Boxscore
False Cowboys bravado: Dallas didn't beat the Texans as much as the NFL scheduledid
Part of you wants to feel bad for the diehard Houston Texans fan who forked over $600 for a seat to a game that was as falsely advertised as any movie trailer that touted Bradley Cooper for an Oscar.
And it was pretty easy to meet several of those fans in the giddy pregame chaos around Reliant Stadium on a Sunday afternoon that more resembled the jocular atmosphere of an SEC college football showdown than your typical NFL Sunday afternoon. Kirby (which suddenly had Cowboys-level parking prices in those independent business lots — Jerry Jones would have been so proud) will never be mistaken for the Between the Hedges setting of Athens, Ga., but the largely good-natured yelling between Boys and Texans fans came about as close as pro football gets outside of Green Bay.
"I would have paid a thousand bucks to see my Texans whoop on those losers in the star helmets," Manny Sanchez, who proudly admitted to dropping six C-Notes to get into Reliant before it all unraveled in an ultra-predictable 27-13 Cowboys romp, said. By Monday morning, Sanchez will probably be trying to convince his co-workers he got in for only six bucks.
That's about how much this game is worth in determining each team's future.
Just because Roy Williams finally recorded a 100-yard receiving game, David Buehler finally converted a clutch kick and Jason Garrett finally didn't make a glaring boneheaded call doesn't mean that the Cowboys are any closer to getting to that Super Bowl in Jerry World. Just because Matt Schaub found himself shaken and less than stirred, Mario Williams went back into the Defensive End Witness Protection Program and Gary Kubiak's team looked about as inspired as snoozing monk doesn't mean that the Texans have taken a huge step back.
This game was never going to be a coronation of the Texans as the new NFL power in the league's most football-mad state. Not with the desperation so much higher on the other sideline.
"Why did we have to lose to them though?" Houston fan Anthony Reynolds asked. "I'd rather have lost that Redskins game, maybe even the first two games. We're going to hear about this one for years."
Not really. Not if the Texans are in the playoffs in January and the Boys are home. That's not how it works in the NFL either. You don't get to pick and choose your victories — especially early in the season when things are almost bound to shake out certain ways as talent settles to its various levels.
It's not sexy and it certainly doesn't keep the sports talk radio machine rolling, but the truth is that this was a schedule loss for Houston as much, if not more, than a physical loss.
The results of this game played out largely as the NFL law of averages dictated. Dallas is too talented to start 0-3 — even bad coaching can only hinder a team so much. Houston was bound for a letdown after rallying from 17 points down to steal a game against the Redskins. This is the most talented Texans team in the history of the franchise, one that should put Andre Johnson in the playoffs for the first time (as long as he can stay on the field), but it's not the 2007 Patriots.
If Houston had somehow come into this game 0-2 and Dallas was 2-0, the final score would have almost assuredly have been reversed.
That's just how it works in this league of parity, where the talent gap between the good-but-not-great teams can never be that large. It doesn't fit neatly into a screaming soundbite, but reality is the standings dictated this domination more than the Cowboys' determination.
Even the good, playoff teams in Roger Goodell's league are going to finish with four more wins than losses. When you're heading for 10-6, a 3-0 start against three good teams is hardly likely. Likewise, when you're racing towards an 8-8 or 9-7 disappointment — as these Cowboys still are — 0-3 isn't really in the cards. Especially when you've already lost at least one game you should have won.
Did you really think the Texans were ready to rip off a 13-3 record, to establish themselves as the best in the league without ever having tasted the playoffs?
That's the only way you should be truly crushed by what played out on this September Sunday. This doesn't mean you don't rail against the near inevitability of a schedule loss. This doesn't excuse the Texans for showing less fight than usual, for clearly being outcared by the opposition.
"The thing I told the guys is that I'm disappointed," Kubiak said in his postgame press conference. "We had our chances."
Predictably, many of those chances were blown up by the Cowboys' Lawrence Taylor wanna-be overpowering overmatched blockers. DeMarcus Ware sacked Schaub three times, as the quarterback paid dearly for Duane Brown's inability to avoid getting caught for taking performance enhancing drugs. Legit Super Bowl contenders may have one critical player suspended for PEDs, but clearly not two.
"Our quarterback's went down too much in the last two weeks," Kubiak said.
Meanwhile, Tony Romo nearly passed out of a protective bubble, his white jersey as unruffled as a socialite's favorite cocktail dress. And no matter how much Romo habitually distrusts Roy Williams, no QB of sound mind isn't going to keep throwing to whoever Texans rookie cornerback Kareem Jackson is futilely attempting to cover (can Nick Saban be flown into Houston for an emergency DB intervention?)
You don't beat a schedule loss with two so-easily-exploited flaws.
So Romo is smiling free again, spewing soundbite-friendly cliches that say nothing happily — which is really little different than what he does after a loss. And Johnson — the most competitive Texan — isn't only battered (again), but his pride is bruised too. The large Cowboys contingent in the packed Reliant got its say too, dominating the second-half cheers, laughing at any notion that this still isn't a city with divided allegiances.
So what.
It still all means little in the big picture of the season. Few Sundays figure to ever matter less. No matter the high cost in the stands.
"I'm just sick of hearing about the Cowboys this and the Cowboys that," Sanchez, the $600-single-seat-man said pregame. "They don't walk on water you know."
Oh, Sanchez will hear plenty now — maybe for as long as several weeks.
But talent and coaching play out over a marathon season — and the Cowboys will not be walking anywhere in the playoffs, while the Texans are still right on course to get there.
It's the NFL. Sometimes the schedule beats you.