I'm gonna make this quick, because it does not require much explaining.There are two types of people in the world:
Type A: Those who think that rock band Rush is a bunch of overindulgent, guitar and drum play highlighted by a lead singer, Geddy Lee, whose voice is to humans what dog whistles are to canines.
Type B: Those who think Rush is the best thing to come out of Canada since professional hockey moved south and who worship at the altar of every snare and tom tom thump emitted from the drum kit of Neil Peart and every nasal note that comes out of Lee's skinny body.
Count me among the latter.
The only upside of getting older as a rock n' roll fan is that important markers can be celebrated with the artists. In the case of Rush, this current Time Machine Tour is the 30th anniversary of arguably the trio's greatest album, Moving Pictures. To mark the occasion the album will be played in its entirety — from Tom Sawyer to Vital Signs — in the course of a two-and-a-half hour set.
POOF!!! SPLAT!!! (That was my head blowing off in anticipation of this blessed event).
Rush will also be unearthing some little-played older gems out of its four decade archive and preview a few cuts from a new album (it's 19th), Clockwork Angels, to be released next year.
If none of this means anything to you, stay far away from this show.
For those of you who — like me — have grown up with Rush and nearly passed out when I said they were playing Moving Pictures in in it's entirety.... you are a Type B Rush fan and should do anything and everything in your power not to miss this show.
Rush, Saturday 7:30 p.m. at the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion
One of the oddest things about the blockbuster era we live in is that while Disney owns the rights to the majority of Marvel comic book characters, Sony Pictures owns the rights to Spider-Man and any affiliated characters. Since they’re sharing Spider-Man himself with Disney, Sony has been trying to capitalize on those rights by making stand-alone films using niche characters that only comic book fanatics would know.
Having exhausted Venom and whiffed on attempts with Morbius and Madame Web, they’re trying again with Kraven the Hunter. Also known as Sergei Kravinoff, Kraven (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) is a self-styled vigilante who, as the film tells it, travels the world exacting vengeance on the truly bad people of the world. He’s the son of Nikolai (Russell Crowe), a hard-edged Russian oligarch, and brother to Dmitri (Fred Hechinger), who is relatively weak compared to the rest of his family.
The origin story has Kraven gaining his animal-like powers - including super-strength, speed, and jumping abilities - as a teenager from a mysterious serum given to him by a girl named Calypso (played as an adult by Ariana DeBose) after he was mauled by a lion. The two maintain a tenuous partnership as adults, with Calypso helping him hunt down other villains like Aleksei Sytsevich (Alessandro Nivola) and The Foreigner (Christopher Abbott).
Directed by J.C. Chandor and written by Richard Wenk, Art Marcum, and Matt Holloway, the film looks and feels enormously lazy, something made merely to hold on to potentially valuable intellectual property. Other than the tense family dynamic between the Kravinovs, little makes sense in the story. Kraven has an indecipherable moral code that has him going after poachers - because he’s part lion? - in addition to other high-powered criminals, with no clear goal except to … get back at his father?
The laziness extends to the action scenes, which feature Kraven being mostly impervious to any damage, whether it’s hand-to-hand combat, knives, or guns. The CGI-heavy scenes don’t even allow moviegoers to enjoy an R-rated bloody free-for-all, as all of the blood splatter is computer-generated, too. Since apparently one Spider-Man villain is not enough, three others make appearances with abilities that are under-explained and CGI that is poorly done.
That’s not even counting Calypso, another Spider-Man villain whose purpose in this film is nebulous at best. Her early connection with Kraven is so coincidental as to be laughable, and her continued reasons for helping him as an adult strain credulity as well. The only saving grace of her presence is that the filmmakers don’t try to shoehorn romance into the plot; perhaps they’re saving that for the (inevitable?) sequel.
Taylor-Johnson has had one of the most prolific-yet-anonymous careers in modern Hollywood, with appearances in big films like The Fall Guy, Bullet Train, and Tenet that have made very little impact. Even as the star here, he fails to hold your attention, with the story and visuals doing him no favors. DeBose has followed up her Oscar win for West Side Story with schlock like I.S.S., Argylle, and this, which doesn’t bode well for her career. At least Crowe gets to chew the scenery.
With a contractual inability to mention the name “Spider-Man,” movies like Kraven the Hunter exist in a weird area that forces filmmakers to make up stories for characters to which most people have no attachment. And just like Sony’s previous efforts, it is a very poor way to spend two hours in a movie theater; avoid at all costs.
---
Kraven the Hunter opens in theaters on December 13.
