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Living off Star Wars geek lust

Lesbian ballerina kisses & nudity aside, Natalie Portman is an inferior actressto Rachel Bilson

Chris Baldwin
Aug 23, 2010 | 1:14 am
  • Natalie Portman's A-list status depends on the fawning of Star Wars geeks.
  • While Rachel Bilson is a superior actress, Portman uses ...
  • lesbian kiss scenes with Mila Kunis to get the Stars Wars' 45-year-olds pumpedup for her new movie, Black Swan.

Natalie Portman is at it again, drawing a ton of attention for supposedly doing something daring in a film. This time it's a lesbian kiss with Mila Kunis in the upcoming ballerina thriller Black Swan.

Portman is aghast — completely aghast! — that the kiss is all anyone is talking about after the release of this "serious" December film's trailer. If only she was a better actress to convey that.

For that's the real truth behind Portman. The entire Natalie Portman phenomenon has nothing to do with acting and everything to do with Star Wars geeks.

Portman isn't a very good actress. And please don't bring up Brothers and her overwrought Lifetime movie performance — one that even Jennifer Love Hewitt could have bettered on a good day.

No, Portman stands up as an A-lister for one reason and one reason only — she's obsessed over by those who somehow still believe in the power of the Force after George Lucas' cringe-worthy prequel trio of movies.

As Kunis herself told ThirdAge.com: "Nat is like every guy's dream. She's a nerd's idea of heaven. The whole thing is silly, but I can see why people care."

Much of the buzz that propelled Portman to an Academy Award nomination for Closer centered on a stripping scene in which she didn't really strip. How shocking for the young Princess Leia or whoever the hell Portman was supposed to be in those horrid Phantom Menace movies (Apparently, Padmé Amidala).

Now, Black Swan depends on another hook designed to titillate the never-grown-up Star Wars crowd. See Luke Skywalker's MILF make out with the girl from That '70s Show. Scandalous. If you're 40 going on 13.

There is nothing wrong with being a completely overrated actress per se. Many actors built mega careers doing the same.

It's just sad to see better young actresses get overshadowed by Portman's propped-up career status. Including Rachel Bilson, Portman's acting superior in so many ways.

Watch Bilson in The Last Kiss and it quickly becomes apparent what she can do with a decent script, the scripts that Portman steals from so many more talented thespians. In fact, Bilson makes that Zach Braff movie much more watchable (despite Braff himself remaining equally annoying) than Portman's Braff movie turn, The Garden State.

Heck, some of Bilson's acting in even The O.C. is better than Portman's work in the much-better-written V for Vendetta.

If only roles were determined by skill, not who lucked into Star Wars' chick status, earning a lifetime of box-office-building drool from 45-year-old adolescents.

Portman & Kunis go at it:

unspecified
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Movie Review

An all-star cast delivers clever laughs in new comedy The Invite

Alex Bentley
Jul 10, 2026 | 2:30 pm
Olivia Wilde, Seth Rogen, Penelope Cruz, and Edward Norton in The Invite
Photo courtesy of A24
Olivia Wilde, Seth Rogen, Penelope Cruz, and Edward Norton in The Invite.

Once upon a time, well before scandal embroiled him, Woody Allen made great comedies aimed at adults. That type of film — which is different from the raunchy, R-rated comedies of the 21st century — has fallen out of favor in Hollywood, but as the new film The Invite proves, when done well it can be as funny as anything else out there.

Joe (Seth Rogen) and Angela (Olivia Wilde) are an unhappily married couple living in San Francisco. As we meet them, Joe has arrived home to Angela preparing for a visit from their upstairs neighbors, Hawk (Edward Norton) and Piña (Penélope Cruz), who have moved in relatively recently. Their impending arrival starts a new round of arguing between Joe and Angela, something they can barely contain once the other couple comes to their door.

What proceeds is a getting-to-know-you process that is mostly awkward as Joe and Angela continue sniping at each other while Hawk and Piña put in their two cents in a much calmer manner. A sticking point between the two couples — the loud sex Hawk and Piña have on an almost nightly basis — turns the film on its head with an unexpected invitation.

Directed by Wilde and written by Will McCormack and Rashida Jones, the film is a fast-paced chamber piece that takes place almost entirely in Joe and Angela’s apartment. Wilde, the writers, and the actors speed the story along not with action but through almost non-stop dialogue that often has the characters overlapping each other’s lines. The rapidity of the speech fuels the humor of the situation and establishes the differing personalities of each person.

Sex is very much top of mind for each of the characters for most of the film, but the filmmakers approach the topic in such a way that it never feels salacious. Each of the characters is a rational adult who can talk about sex in a mature manner while also acknowledging their unique feelings on the matter. And it’s the discoveries each of them makes along the way that brings about the most comedy.

But, like any comedy for adults, the film also has a dramatic tilt to it, and Wilde edges the story back-and-forth between the two tones extremely well. Joe and Angela fighting is played for laughs at times, but the sadness of their relationship comes through loud and clear. Hawk and Piña are much more intimate with each other, but the funniness of their openness is juxtaposed with a depth that arises through their conversations.

In the 2020s, Rogen has managed to make the transition from goofy stoner to stoner with real acting chops. In a stacked cast, he is the one who sells every moment the best. That’s not to say that Wilde, Norton, and Cruz don’t measure up, though; each of them inhabits their respective roles magnificently. The four actors play off each other as if they had been working together for years.

While The Invite will likely play better to those who have experience with long term relationships, its insights — and occasional bawdiness — make it a comedy that can be appreciated universally. With four actors at the top of their games and a razor-sharp script made even better by some well-done improv, it proves that you don’t need to go low to get great laughs.

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The Invite is now playing in theaters.

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