weekend event planner

Here are the top 9 things to do in Houston this weekend

Things go Overboard with NobleMotion Dance.

Photo courtesy of NobleMotion Dance

With the recent announcement of celebs — Lamar Odom, Dawson's Creek heartthrob James van der Beek, and former Trump press secretary Sean Spicer, among them — who'll make up the contestants for the next season (the 28th!) of Dancing with the Stars, now is a good time to tell you that Dancing vets Val and Maks Chmerkovskiy will be in town this weekend for Dance with Me Studios' Team Match events. They'll certainly be in attendance for the Jungle Wonderland gala, happening on Saturday night.

Dancing stars aside, as always, here's your list of weekend fun.

Thursday, August 22

Last Call Before Fall at Jack O'Connors
The For the Love of People Group will be having a nice celebration full of influencers, artists, brands, and businesses. Enjoy great music and sip on cocktails while indulging in shopping, networking, photo ops, beauty experiences, and fashion showcasing local brands. This event is all about beauty, fashion, and strong women celebrating each other, so bring your friends, your mom, your aunties, your uncles, your husbands, and boyfriends/girlfriends. 6-10 pm.

Friday, August 23

Warehouse 72 Grand Opening weekend celebration
Warehouse 72 Modern Bistro and Bar replaces the beloved Spaghetti Warehouse, which was lost during Hurricane Harvey. The new venue is hosting a weekend of grand opening events, including music and art offerings. Friday at 6 pm, California-raised musician, singer, songwriter, and producer, Madeline Edwards, will perform her Southern-soul-inspired new jazz-fusion sounds.

Saturday and Sunday from noon to 3 pm features the artist Sebastien “Mr. D 1987” Boileau and some of the muses portrayed in the larger-than-life murals that grace the walls of the restaurant. Nab screen print mural-inspired artwork on your own T-shirt, or on a complimentary tote bag or bandana, while supplies last. Musician Charlie Perez and friends will perform. On Sunday from noon to 3 pm, magician Michael Blanco will amaze and delight.

Nelly/TLC/Flo Rida at the Woodlands Pavilion
Let's all go back to the '90s and the aughts with this throwback package concert. First up, we got Nelly, the Band-Aid-wearing MC who took his St. Louis brand of rap and shot to the top of the charts. Then, we have TLC, the crazysexycool girl group who gave us such hits as "Creep," "Waterfalls," and "No Scrubs," the anthem for ladies who are tired of deadbeat dudes. Finally, there's Flo Rida, the Sunshine State rapper who has set off many a party with hits like "Low" and "Right Round." 7 pm.

Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am at 14 Pews
Earlier this month, Toni Morrison passed away at the age of 88. The Pulitzer Prize-winning author left an astounding body of work, from Song of Solomon to Beloved. She was also the subject of this recently released documentary, directed by photographer Timothy Greenfield-Sanders. Oprah Winfrey, Hilton Als, and Angela Davis are a few of the people featured who sing the woman's praises. And if you can't make these Friday and Saturday screenings, the MFAH will also screen the movie on Tuesday, September 24. 7 pm.

Man Overboard! at the Hobby Center
Sam Houston State University associate professors of dance Andy Noble and Dionne Noble and their NobleMotion Dance company are celebrating their 11th season by presenting two cutting-edge evenings of dance at Zilkha Hall. This production, an examination of unintended consequences, whether it be political polarization, environmental issues, or the inundation of artificial intelligence, is composed of four distinct works. They feature innovative collaborations with artificial intelligence, industrial designers, and media artists. 7:30 pm.

Saturday, August 24

Peter Max: The Retrospective at Off the Wall Gallery
In case you didn't know, this month marks the 50th anniversary of Woodstock, the three-day music fest/disaster area where hippies descended to a farm in New York and watched dozens of musicians perform. Off the Wall Gallery will be celebrating the anniversary by hosting an exhibit featuring the work of legendary, psychedelic-art master Peter Max. After all, Woodstock was all about peace, love, freedom, and music — all significant sources of inspiration for Max. 5 pm (1 pm Sunday).

Brittmore Rescue presents Come Heels or High Water Soiree: Havana Nights
Over at the Decorative Center of Houston's Stetzel & Associates showroom, Brittmoore Rescue will be putting on its second-annual Come Heels or High Water Soiree. This year, it's a Havana theme, featuring a runway show by Lucho of Uptown. After the cocktail hour with light bites, libations, silent auction, and the "Little Havana Market," local philanthropists will be modeling the pieces. Proceeds raised are going to promote rebuilding homes around the community that were affected by disasters such as flooding. 7 pm.

Sunday, August 25

East End Brew Cruise
Kitschy watering hole East End Brew will have quite the party going on this weekend. It's billed as a family-filled day of beautiful cars, killer tunes, cool art, and more, hosted by the Veteranos Tejanos Car Club. There will also be a pin-up contest, hosted by local pin-up model Jacky Oh, where the winner will receive some swag from Cali-based, vintage-fashion boutique Revolver Clothing Co. DJs Simmer Down and Twinkle-Toes will provide the music. Noon to 6 pm.

Jax Grill 26th Anniversary
It's that time of year again where Jax Grill celebrates its anniversary with amazingly-discounted burgers. Since it's the 26th anniversary, the quarter-pound hamburgers and cheeseburgers at both locations — 6510 S. Rice Ave. in Bellaire and 1613 Shepherd Dr. — will be 26 cents. (It will be limited to the first 200 customers and one per customer.) There will also be drink specials, including $4 frozen house margaritas, $5 flavored house margaritas, $2.75 domestic bottled beers, and $3 import bottled beers. 4 pm.

event-planner

Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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