What would you do-ooo-oo?

The Contest Cocktail: How drunk do you get on winning?

CultureMap asked, "What would you do for Wine & Food Week tickets?" And this wasCarla Soriano's answer. She won.
One of the most notorious in the what-would-you-do genre, the consumption ofanything that'll fit in your mouth has become quite the contest of choice.
The more embarrassing and socially degrading a contest is, the better thewinner's prize will taste.
Sometimes it's about friendly competition, but no matter what the stakes, weAmericans love to compete.
Judges often feel the backlash of a contest gone wrong. Scorned contestants areno joke. The wrath of this one's going to leave a mark.

Forget soothsayers and Magic 8 Balls. The next time an inanimate object recommends that you concentrate and ask again, consult the Klondike bar instead.

Perhaps Klondike is unaware of its clairvoyant capabilities, but what it trademarked as a silly marketing jingle — "What would you do-ooo-oo for a Klondike bar?" — set the stage for a rash of takers of that very offer.

Simply put, that cream-filled chocolate cube unwittingly opened a giant can of one-upping worms. Because when the Klondike question comes paired with any material goods, people go wild with want.

In less convoluted vernacular, people do the craziest things to win contests, don't they?

As it stands, the Contest Cocktail is quite a potent mix, and it takes almost nothing to find yourself inebriated on the brew.

Start with a spirited bitter of annihilating anything that stands in your way. Add a splash of proving that you're more worthy than everyone else to the antidote. Garnish with a twist of the reward of earning something, no matter how miniscule in value. Shake vigorously, and voila! You're drunk on the contest Kool-Aid.

Now that you're sufficiently sloshed, let's play a game of truths. The rules? If you've done it, take another swig of the Contest Cocktail.

Never have I ever:

Eaten 54 hot dogs in 10 minutes.
Because, well, who craves that many encased intestines in the equivalent of a commercial break?

It seems someone failed to ask Joey Chestnut, who has humiliated the International Federation of Competitive Eating's (yes, for real) reigning champion, Takeru Kobayashi, for the last four years in the event.

Chestnut said he was "apprehensive" about his first eating contest, a lobster-eating extravaganza. "I thought the whole idea was weird. But if you agreed to do the contest, you got a free night at a hotel."

Because your health is worth throwing to the wind for a magical night at the Best Western.

Paid $13,000 for Hannah Montana tickets.
Ain't no mountain high enough to keep this mom's young pups from getting to Miley Cyrus. Did we mention the $13,000 price tag?

A stay-at-home mom, unwilling to be identified, paid the preposterous sum in an Indianapolis radio station's auction to score tickets to the show. Did you know that she paid $13,000?

In the anonymous mother's defense, the money went to a good cause, but don't let the veil of altruism shroud your perception. The woman plonked down a hefty chunk of change to win tickets to a see an entirely fabricated pop princess.

No wonder she chose to remain unnamed. We're embarrassed for her.

Held your pee for a Wii and died as a result of water intoxication.
So this one's a trick question. Sue us.

But it was no joke to Jennifer Strange. A radio contest, offering a free Wii to the winner, challenged listeners to "Hold Your Wee for a Wii" — no bathroom visits for as long as you could shift your weight from one foot to the other.

So Strange didn't pee. It turns out, water intoxication is quite deadly, and when you gotta go, you gotta go for a reason.

Dress up as a wine bottle for passes to Wine & Food Week.
None of you wanted those tickets as badly as Carla Soriano. We just wish CultureMap Chardonnay was found at your neighborhood Specs.

We smell another contest in the works.

unspecified

Concert News

Classic rockers Styx will sail away to Houston on summer 2025 tour

Photo courtesy of Styx

Styx will tour in summer 2025.

Legendary rockers Styx and Kevin Cronin, lead singer of REO Speedwagon, will team up to co-headline the “Brotherhood of Rock” tour in 2025, which will include a stop at The Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion in The Woodlands on Friday, June 6.

The large, 40-city tour will take place over three months, starting in Greenville, South Carolina on May 28, and wrapping up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin on August 24.

In addition to Houston, the tour will go to Austin on June 4 and Dallas on August 1. It will include special guest Don Felder, former lead guitarist for the Eagles, at all dates.

Fans can expect some of the greatest rock anthems of all time, including “Renegade,” “Keep On Loving You,” “Come Sail Away,” “Can't Fight This Feeling,” and “Hotel California.”

Styx and Cronin (as part of REO Speedwagon) first toured together in 2000 and in 2001 after the 9/11 attacks, coming together to form the Rock to the Rescue 501(c)3 nonprofit organization. This will mark their sixth time joining forces on the road.

2022 was the 50th anniversary of Styx's self-titled debut album, but they have yet to slow down. The band released their 17th album, Crash of the Crown, in 2021. Of course, not everyone is a fan, as this classic clip from The Simpsons illustrates.

REO Speedwagon's recording days appear to be done, with their last album coming out in 2009, but the main group of five has been together since 1989. On this tour, Cronin will be joined by REO's lead guitarist Dave Amato and drummer Bryan Hitt.

General tickets for the tour will go on sale starting on Friday, December 13 at 10 am at LiveNation.com.

Citi cardmembers will have access to presale tickets in the U.S. beginning on December 9 at 10 am through the Citi Entertainment program.

Styx and Kevin Cronin will be offering VIP packages via their own exclusive pre-sales beginning on Tuesday, December 10 at 10 am, as well as at LiveNation.com.

“Brotherhood of Rock” tour dates

Wed 5/28 Greenville, SC Bon Secours Wellness Arena
Sat 5/31 Tampa, FL MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre
Mon 6/2 Jacksonville, FL Daily's Place
Wed 6/4 Austin, TX Germania Insurance Amphitheater
Fri 6/6 The Woodlands, TX The Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion presented by Huntsman
Sat 6/7 Ridgedale, MO Thunder Ridge Nature Arena
Mon 6/9 Denver, CO Fiddler's Green Amphitheatre
Wed 6/11 Salt Lake City, UT Utah First Credit Union Amphitheatre
Fri 6/13 Concord, CA Toyota Pavilion at Concord
Sat 6/14 Bend, OR Hayden Homes Amphitheater
Sun 6/15 Ridgefield, WA RV Inn Style Resorts Amphitheater
Sat 6/28 Albuquerque, NM Isleta Amphitheater
Mon 6/30 Colorado Springs, CO Ford Amphitheatre
Wed 7/2 Kansas City, MO Starlight Theatre
Sat 7/5 Birmingham, AL Coca-Cola Amphitheater
Sun 7/6 Alpharetta, GA Ameris Bank Amphitheatre
Tue 7/8 Charlotte, NC PNC Music Pavilion
Wed 7/9 Raleigh, NC Coastal Credit Union Music Park
Fri 7/11 Virginia Beach, VA Veterans United Home Loans Amphitheater
Sat 7/12 Bristow, VA Jiffy Lube Live
Mon 7/14 Syracuse, NY Empower Federal Credit Union Amphitheater at Lakeview
Tue 7/15 Bridgeport, CT Hartford HealthCare Amphitheater
Fri 7/18 Gilford, NH BankNH Pavilion
Sat 7/19 Mansfield, MA Xfinity Center
Sun 7/20 Holmdel, NJ PNC Bank Arts Center
Fri 8/1 Dallas, TX Dos Equis Pavilion
Sat 8/2 Brandon, MS Brandon Amphitheater
Mon 8/4 Franklin, TN FirstBank Amphitheater
Wed 8/6 Richmond, VA Allianz Amphitheater at Riverfront
Fri 8/8 Camden, NJ Freedom Mortgage Pavilion
Sun 8/10 Burgettstown, PA The Pavilion at Star Lake
Tue 8/12 Saratoga Springs, NY Broadview Stage at SPAC
Wed 8/13 Toronto, ON Budweiser Stage
Fri 8/15 Noblesville, IN Ruoff Music Center
Sat 8/16 Clarkston, MI Pine Knob Music Theatre
Tue 8/19 Cincinnati, OH Riverbend Music Center
Wed 8/20 Cuyahoga Falls, OH Blossom Music Center
Fri 8/22 St. Louis, MO Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre
Sat 8/23 Tinley Park, IL Credit Union 1 Amphitheatre
Sun 8/24 Milwaukee, WI American Family Insurance Amphitheater

concerts music

What would you do-ooo-oo?

The Contest Cocktail: How drunk do you get on winning?

Concert News

Classic rockers Styx will sail away to Houston on summer 2025 tour

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