Forget soothsayers and Magic 8 Balls. The next time an inanimate object recommends that you concentrate and ask again, consult the Klondike bar instead.

Perhaps Klondike is unaware of its clairvoyant capabilities, but what it trademarked as a silly marketing jingle — "What would you do-ooo-oo for a Klondike bar?" — set the stage for a rash of takers of that very offer.

Simply put, that cream-filled chocolate cube unwittingly opened a giant can of one-upping worms. Because when the Klondike question comes paired with any material goods, people go wild with want.

In less convoluted vernacular, people do the craziest things to win contests, don't they?

As it stands, the Contest Cocktail is quite a potent mix, and it takes almost nothing to find yourself inebriated on the brew.

Start with a spirited bitter of annihilating anything that stands in your way. Add a splash of proving that you're more worthy than everyone else to the antidote. Garnish with a twist of the reward of earning something, no matter how miniscule in value. Shake vigorously, and voila! You're drunk on the contest Kool-Aid.

Now that you're sufficiently sloshed, let's play a game of truths. The rules? If you've done it, take another swig of the Contest Cocktail.

Never have I ever:

Eaten 54 hot dogs in 10 minutes.
Because, well, who craves that many encased intestines in the equivalent of a commercial break?

It seems someone failed to ask Joey Chestnut, who has humiliated the International Federation of Competitive Eating's (yes, for real) reigning champion, Takeru Kobayashi, for the last four years in the event.

Chestnut said he was "apprehensive" about his first eating contest, a lobster-eating extravaganza. "I thought the whole idea was weird. But if you agreed to do the contest, you got a free night at a hotel."

Because your health is worth throwing to the wind for a magical night at the Best Western.

Paid $13,000 for Hannah Montana tickets.
Ain't no mountain high enough to keep this mom's young pups from getting to Miley Cyrus. Did we mention the $13,000 price tag?

A stay-at-home mom, unwilling to be identified, paid the preposterous sum in an Indianapolis radio station's auction to score tickets to the show. Did you know that she paid $13,000?

In the anonymous mother's defense, the money went to a good cause, but don't let the veil of altruism shroud your perception. The woman plonked down a hefty chunk of change to win tickets to a see an entirely fabricated pop princess.

No wonder she chose to remain unnamed. We're embarrassed for her.

Held your pee for a Wii and died as a result of water intoxication.
So this one's a trick question. Sue us.

But it was no joke to Jennifer Strange. A radio contest, offering a free Wii to the winner, challenged listeners to "Hold Your Wee for a Wii" — no bathroom visits for as long as you could shift your weight from one foot to the other.

So Strange didn't pee. It turns out, water intoxication is quite deadly, and when you gotta go, you gotta go for a reason.

Dress up as a wine bottle for passes to Wine & Food Week.
None of you wanted those tickets as badly as Carla Soriano. We just wish CultureMap Chardonnay was found at your neighborhood Specs.

We smell another contest in the works.