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    the goat is out

    Houston's Olympic icon Simone Biles dramatically leaps back into competition

    Steven Devadanam
    Jul 27, 2021 | 8:04 am
    Simone Biles, Olympic trials
    Biles is out after an undisclosed injury apparently sustained July 27.
    Getty Images

    UPDATE 8-2-2021: Simone Biles will compete in the balance beam finals on Tuesday, August 3, according to Team USA. This comes after the four-time Olympic gold medalist withdrew from competition for more than a week to focus on her mental health and deal with a severe cases of "the twisties."

    "We are so excited to confirm that you will see two U.S. athletes in the balance beam final tomorrow," USA Gymnastics declared in a statement, "Suni Lee AND Simone Biles!! Can't wait to watch you both!"

    ---

    UPDATE 7-31-2021: Simone Biles has pulled out of Monday's floor exercise finals, Team USA has announced. A decision about Tuesday's balance beam final is expected to be announced Sunday.

    ---

    UPDATE 7-30-2021: Simone Biles has withdrawn from event finals for vault and uneven bars, Team USA announced Friday night. "She will continue to be evaluated daily to determine whether to compete in the finals for floor exercise and balance beam," they said in a statement.

    American MyKayla Skinner, who earned the fourth-highest score on vault in qualifying, will replace Biles; USA's Jade Carey also qualified. Sunisa Lee will be the lone American gymnast to compete on uneven bars; no other teammate scored high enough in qualifying. Melanie de Jesus dos Santos of France will get Biles' spot on bars.

    Vault and uneven bar finals take place Sunday, floor exercise on Monday, and balance beam on Tuesday.

    Biles posted on Instagram on Thursday night that she was still experiencing "the twisties,” said her "mind and body are simply not in sync, and that she "literally can not tell up from down."

    ---

    UPDATE: The United States won a silver medal in Tuesday’s women’s gymnastics competition after Biles withdrew from the team final in Tokyo, NBC News reports.

    -----

    The world’s most elite Olympian is out of the U.S. gymnastics team final in Tokyo.

    Houston’s own Simone Biles, the four-time Olympic gold medalist known as the “GOAT,” has left the contest due to an unspecified issue.

    “Simone Biles has withdrawn from the team final competition due to a medical issue,” reads a statement from USA Gymnastics. “She will be assessed daily to determine medical clearance for future competitions."”

    The 24-year-old Spring resident had qualified for all six finals and was expected to go on to compete in individual all-around, floor exercise, beam, uneven bars and vault, NBC News notes.

    Undoubtedly, Biles was the favorite in these games and has set the standard for those competing against her. She is widely considered the greatest gymnast of all time and has been the biggest draw for the Tokyo 2020 games thus far.

    On Tuesday July 27, she competed in Team USA’s first vault rotation. She landed the vault then huddled with a trainer, and later exited the competition with a team doctor, as ABC13 reports.

    When she returned, Biles removed her gear, hugged teammates Grace McCallum, Sunisa Lee, and Jordan Chiles and donned a jacket and sweatpants — a clear sign she was done for the day.

    Her Monday, July 26 Instagram post reveals the pressures the young superstar endures as she represents the U.S. and aspiring gymnasts everywhere:

    It wasn't an easy day or my best but I got through it. I truly do feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders at times. I know I brush it off and make it seem like pressure doesn’t affect me but damn sometimes it’s hard hahaha! The olympics is no joke!Now, Houston and the world will watch to see when and if the GOAT can spring back into action.

    View this post on Instagram

    A post shared by Simone Biles (@simonebiles)

    This is a breaking news story; CultureMap will update with details.

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    Movie Review

    Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

    Alex Bentley
    Dec 26, 2025 | 2:30 pm
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda
    Photo by Matt Grace
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

    In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

    The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

    Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

    Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

    The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

    It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

    Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

    Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

    ---

    Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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