The day of days has finally arrived.

Hold onto your wallets, Apple disciples. The Get Your Free iPhone 4 Bumper Madness has begun.

Barely making the self-imposed deadline of "next week" after last Friday's emergency press conference, iPhone 4 owners began receiving the highly-anticipated "iPhone 4 Case Program" notifications via email for collection of their silicone saviors.

It seems Apple isn't calling it what it is — The Day You Fixed Your iPhone 4 with Plastic on Apple's Dime. But no bother. We won't look a gift recourse in the mouth.

The email itself is relatively generic. It addresses you by the ever-so-illustrious name of "iPhone 4 owner," and alerts you of your eligibility to receive an iPhone 4 Bumper (the capitalization is Apple's touch) at no charge before September 30th. Unless you purchased your phone before July 23rd, that is. 'Cause if you were an early iPhone 4 adopter, you must scoop up the offer no later than August 22nd.

Huh? For a limited-time only? We're scratching our heads in bewilderment, too.

From there, you're prompted to download the iPhone 4 Case Program app from the App Store and choose your free security blanket.

Yes, friends, there's an app for ... oh, you get the picture.

For those of you with visions of plum (or magenta or orange or blue) dancing through your heads, don't get your hopes up. Your options — while offered from a diverse array of top manufacturers like Belkin, Incase, Griffin, and Speck — are as black as black can be.

In short? You're either getting black, or you're getting nothing. Sure, two options are of the clear persuasion, but we'd like to see that in your box of Crayolas.

While it's hard to complain about anything free (although we've fared quite well already), we think there's a legitimate gripe amidst the veiled goodwill here. Hold onto your knickers, technophiles — shipment of these magic cases will take anywhere from three to a whopping 10 weeks, depending on the iPhone case you choose. Ten. As in five plus five.

Was that a kick in the groin we felt? Ouch, Jobs.

We're not sure whether we should thank O Great One's creator for his generosity or balk at his botching of, yet again, another iPhone 4-related debacle. We're leaning toward the balk.

But this is Jobs' final offer. What can we do but reluctantly take the scraps? Because the iPhone 4 is still the prettiest flower blooming in the smartphone garden, and we Appleheads are still its biggest fools.

At least when Time releases its list of the biggest tech failures of this decade, we iPhone 4 holders can proudly say that we were so there. And that, in and of itself, makes fanboyhood worth it. Believing is belonging.