Stop the Lindsanity

A jail-time plan for Lindsay Lohan: Find that imaginary pants-swapping friend

Lindsay Lohan, left, reacts with her attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, aftersentencing by Judge Marsha Revel in Beverly Hills, Calif.
Lohan flaunted her alcohol monitor at the Polaroid beach house a few summersago.
I wonder if she'll go natural before reporting to jail. Those roots are bound tobe nasty after 90 days.

It was hard not to feel a pang of sympathy for Lindsay Lohan watching her reaction upon hearing she'd been sentenced to 90 days in jail and an additional 90 days in an in-patient rehab facility, that is until Judge Marsha Revel read off the list of her offenses and finely illustrated the actress' complete disregard for reality. (In her two DUI arrests, Lohan lied about driving the car, and told an officer to his face she "didn't do drugs" when she had cocaine in her pocket. She denied even owning the pants she was wearing.)

Lohan appears so delusional when it comes to her own accountability that I think jail will be easy for her — she can ride out her sentence in her own fantasyland, where her cell is the Chateau Marmont, the toilet seat is covered in blow instead of filth, and the people heckling her are ardent fans.

But in case she's at a loss for what to do with her court-ordered personal time, and because I'm fond of making lists, here are the top five ways Lindsanity should spend her jail time:

- Write tiny messages on her fingernails and hope the other inmates have zoom lenses.

- Plot revenge — on her father for partying without her, her attorney for sucking at her job, the judge for being a bitter bitch, and her imaginary friend for loaning her those pants.

- Strike up another ill-fated lesbian relationship.

- Release a rap album.

- Actually wean yourself off of drugs and alcohol.

Aww, who am I kidding? I'll put my iTunes order in now.

Watch Lohan react below:

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pat saddles up

Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo makes history with election of first female chairman of the board

Photo courtesy of the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo

Pat Mann Phillips saddles up in 2024.

In 2022, the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo made history by making local rap icon Bun B the first Black headliner from Houston. Now, the venerable institution has made history again with the appointment of its first female chairman of the board.

Pat Mann Phillips, a rodeo life member since 2001, will begin her three-year tenure as chairman of the board starting with the 2024 Rodeo, according to an announcement. She takes over for departing chairman Brady Carruth.

“As the newly elected Chairman of the Board, I am humbled and honored to lead the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo and our amazing team of dedicated volunteers,” Phillips tells CultureMap. "Together, we embark on a transformative endeavor to propel our organization to its fullest potential. By breaking new ground and pushing boundaries, we will elevate the rodeo experience to unprecedented heights, capturing the essence of our vibrant community and its unwavering spirit.”

Her first objective, according to the rodeo, will be to collaborate with the executive committee to lead the Rodeo, focusing on its core mission of promoting agriculture and supporting Texas youth and education.

Heralded by peers and staff for her high-energy, positive, genuine, compassionate, and humble nature, Phillips has served on myriad rodeo committees, various committees, including the Corral Club – Suites, Directions & Assistance, Jr. Rodeo, and Special Children's committees.

She was elected to the board of directors in 2012 and rodeo vice president from 2016 to 2018. During her tenure, she oversaw the Transportation, Magazine, Special Children's, Agricultural Education (formerly Ladies' Go Texan), Souvenir Program, and Communications & Special Services committees. She joined the rodeos executive committee in 2018.

Consummately Houston and rodeo, Phillips holds a BBA in Petroleum Land Management and a BBA in Finance from Texas Tech University and boasts more than 30 years of experience in the energy industry. She is currently the executive director of Energy Services for Revenade, a global management consulting firm.

Rodeo is a family affair: She and her husband, Tim Phillips have contributed financially through auction buying groups, season tickets, and donations to the Rodeo's Educational Fund. Tim Phillips, a former chair of the Jr. Rodeo Committee, continues to serve on the Special Children's Committee, per the rodeo.

Pat and Tim Phillips also walk the walk: they own Trinity Spirit Ranch in Field Store, Texas and manage their family ranch in Johnson County, Texas. Pat is also a charter member of Texas Women Venture Fund and a member and former director of Ladies of Texas Tradition, per her bio. She is a mentor and board member in organizations including Amigas Para Niños and the American Association of Professional Landmen.

“Our rich traditions serve as the cornerstone of our mission, and it is my hope that through our collective efforts, we not only preserve these traditions but also ignite a flame of inspiration within others,” Par Phillips says. “I am thrilled to saddle up for this exhilarating journey ahead. Together, we will leave a lasting legacy, inspiring generations to come and making a profound difference in the lives of those we touch.”