Watch out for those German youth

Blow your vuvuzela! The U.S. is done, but the World Cup isn't dead

If, before the World Cup started, you’d told me that on June 27th the U.S. would be in the same position as England, France, and Italy, I would’ve given a mighty blast on my vuvuzela.

Oh well. At least we aren’t suffering the same torments of national self-loathing as our partners in elimination. We did just about as well as you could have reasonably expected before the games began. It’s true, however, that we had started to dream bigger dreams. The semifinals were in reach. All we had to do was beat Ghana and Uruguay. Not exactly a piece of tres leches, but doable.

Except, of course, that Ghana was the same team that showed us the door in 2006, and on Saturday it did so in a manner that was strikingly similar. In the 22nd minute of the 2006 game, Ghana defender Haminu Draman descended on a timidly dribbling Claudio Reyna like a lion falling upon a lesser animal, took the ball away in a majestic display of power, leaving Reyna crumbled on the ground, and flicked in the first goal. The U.S. came back to equalize, but it was clear that our guys couldn’t match the Ghanaians’ power.

This weekend was déjà vu all over again. The game had scarcely started when Kevin-Prince Boateng yanked (no pun intended) the ball from former Dynamo Ricardo Clark and scored a power goal of his own. (Clark had an unhappy tournament, as he allowed seventh-minute goals in two different games.) And the Black Stars winning goal in overtime came when Asamoah Gyan, looking like a bull running through the streets of Pamplona, fended off the suddenly very puny looking Carlos Bocanegra and smashed one past keeper Tim Howard — who frankly didn’t live up to his pre-tournament hype.

Having watched Ghana tiptoe their way through a losing effort against Germany, I was taken aback by their display of power and aggression against the U.S. I’d like to see how they celebrated over at the Ghana House.

Speaking of Germany, the young Teutons were the revelations of the weekend. After a lifetime of watching World War II movies in which all Germans look like they’re going to grow up to be Erich von Stroheim, it was hard for me to grasp that the young men flying with the greatest of ease through the dazed looking Brits were in fact Deutsches.

Of the European nations who have previously won a World Cup, only Germany seems to be producing exciting young talent. I wonder what the difference is between their approach and that of Italy, France and England?

Like U.S.-Ghana, Mexico-Argentina was a replay of 2006. The script didn’t change much for that pair either. The previous game was something of a classic, decided in overtime by one of the best goals I’ve ever seen (by Maxi Rodriguez). This year’s game got off to a fiery start. The Orange Bar crowd was roaring and slamming tequilas as the teams traded long breakaways and displays of dribbling and one-touch passing.

But, unlike Argentina, Mexico was not able to maneuver the ball in front of the goal, and generally had to settle for long-distance kicks — some of which came very close to going in.

El Tri lost its composure after the refs allowed a goal made by the clearly offside Carlos Tevez to stand, and they never really regained it. This game was a study in the fine line between being a good team and a great one.

Mexico displayed the elements for international success, which I believe will one day come for them, but they still can’t put it all together. Maybe they need a coach like Diego Maradona, who for me is the single best story of the tournament, and the main reason I’m now pulling for Argentina.

Friday’s semifinal between Germany and Argentina (another rematch from 2006) has the makings of a free-flowing classic.

Ghana, in the meantime, will try to muscle Uruguay, who slogged through the rain to defeat a very game and capable South Korea in Saturday’s early game. That was the least interesting match of the weekend, though it did feature a star performance by the young striker Luis Suárez. His second goal, a curling shot that he bent out of the mud and right into the inner half of the far goalpost, was the most purely beautiful play of the tournament so far.

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Movie Review

Onslaught's brutal mix of horror, action, comedy can't find its footing

Photo courtesy of A24

Adria Arjona in Onslaught.

The most important thing for any movie to establish early on is its tone. No matter the genre, a film needs to make its audience understand how they should feel as the story unfolds so that they’re willing to go along with whatever transpires on screen. A film that doesn't do that, such as the new Onslaught, runs the risk of failing to connect with viewers even if it has some interesting or fun elements to offer.

One of the biggest issues for the movie is that it fails to fully invest in its main character, Celeste (Adriana Arjona). She’s a military veteran who now lives in and manages a desert trailer park, which is filled with a motley crew of offbeat people. She also has a contentious relationship with her ex, who unexpectedly drops off their daughter, Daisy (Blake Kennedy), soon after the film begins.

Celeste has a stash of high-powered weapons, showing she hasn’t left her former career fully behind. Her expertise comes in handy when something goes wrong at a nearby military contractor facility run by Hans Kemmler (Dan Stevens), and a trio of super soldiers escapes into the wild. Trained to kill everyone in their path, it’s not long before they set their glowing eyes on the trailer park.

Directed by Adam Wingard and written by Simon Barrett, the film has elements of horror, action, and comedy, but the filmmakers struggle in finding the right combination of the three. Wingard and Barrett divide the film’s focus between the trailer park and the military facility for a long time at the beginning of the film, and the quirkiness of people at the former mixed with the bold weirdness of the people at the latter keep viewers off balance in a bad way.

Once they finally settle into the main part of the story where the super soldiers go on a rampage, the filmmakers overpromise and underdeliver. The showdown between a seemingly unstoppable group and an angry woman and her band of misfits seems destined to be highly entertaining, but comes off as underwhelming. The sequence is filled with brutality with no meaning and heroics that feel more accidental than purposeful.

The ham-fisted way in which the story plays out is disappointing since the film has a bunch of characters who could have been great if used properly. The trauma of Celeste’s military career and personal life are hinted at, but don’t come into play as much as expected. Hans and his wife Hanna (Rebecca Hall) are completely off-the-wall, but their eccentricities seem to be apropos of nothing. The super soldiers are initially intimidating, but the climactic sequence undercuts them significantly.

Arjona has yet to fully break out despite some good roles in Hit Man and the Disney+ show Andor. She makes for a good lead here, embodying the toughness of a military veteran while still being relatable. Stevens and Hall go all in with their bonkers characters, but the story doesn’t serve them well. Comic relief comes in the form of Reginald VelJohnson and Eric Wareheim, and they do a great job in smaller roles.

A movie like Onslaught is typically one where the audience just turns off their brains and enjoys the carnage. But Wingard and Barrett try a little too hard by throwing in oddball characters that don’t add much to the story, forgetting to pay enough attention to the mechanics of the plot in the process.

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Onslaught opens in theaters on September 4.

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