We're All Gonna Die
Run of natural disasters triggers questions: And what really caused thatGuatemala sinkhole?
If you didn't get the memo, Mother Nature called. A few times. She wants the Earth back, and where she can't have it by asking nicely, she's decided to take it by force.
This is the only explanation we can logically conjure for what is best described as a sci-fi aficionado's wet dream. Between swallowing a home whole in Canada (complete with a family of four inside), the Cumberland River spewing floodwater all over Tennessee, and drunken Auntie Eyjafjallajökull vomiting ash all over Iceland and adjacent skies, it's plain to see that the world is slowly but surely coming to an end.
2012, kids. It's on the horizon. Start saying your goodbyes now.
Should you think we're merely pulling your leg, let's head on down to Guatemala, shall we?
On Sunday, Tropical Storm Agatha tore her way through Guatemala City, and before the locals knew it, there was a gigantic, 200-foot hole in the middle of town, where a three-story building once stood.
Not just any old hole, mind you. A perfectly circular one. A single puncture wound through the ground. As if someone had carved a tunnel between the surface and the earth's core, threw a little bit of dirt and a building over it to hide the evidence, and used the guise as a cover-up for a sinister plan to take over the world.
All right, we'll concede that perhaps one too many dystopian movies are clouding our frame of reference for better judgment. Whatever.
Whether you think the gates of hell swung open or the bedrock got depressed, one thing's for certain: That hole is round. Like, so round, it must've been pre-planned. Although sinkholes happen, we have our doubts that Mother Nature is that diabolical.
But the question remains, who — or what — is trying to break through? What does it want with us? CAN WE SURVIVE?