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    Were the clues in CSI?

    Get used to this girl: Taylor Swift shows signs of near Springsteen-levelstaying power

    Michael D. Clark
    May 25, 2010 | 12:01 pm

    My favorite performance by country music's new "It" girl, Taylor Swift, is one she most certainly won't duplicate during her two-night concert stay in Houston. It was not her 2006 debut single, "Tim McGraw", from her multi-platinum, self-titled first album, nor any of the country chart-topping country singles (take your pick, "Love Story", "You Belong With Me") from the follow-up album Fearless.

    That album has arguably been the most successful album of the last two years, settling in for an 11-week stay atop the Billboard 200 album charts when it was released near the end of 2008 and breaking sales and radio play records for a female solo country artist that were once only thought possible for Shania Twain.

    In addition to selling over six million copies of Fearless in the United States, Swift sold about 15 or 20 million more internationally and took the album to the top of the country charts in countries from Canada to Turkey.

    (Sidenote: I would love to get a hold of an extended version of the Turkish country album chart and see who Swift's competition was for that accolade.)

    Perhaps most amazing was that 13 songs from Fearless charted on the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart ... out of a possible 13 songs.

    Take that Bruce Springsteen, The Beatles and — especially, Garth Brooks.

    (After all the positioning Brooks did in the '90s to cement himself as the pre-eminent county star of all-time and Nashville's equivalent to Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley rolled into ... I like to believe that every time a young talent like Swift knocks him down a peg an angel gets their wings.)

    So what, pray tell, could Swift have done to surpass this magnificent climb to the top of Music Row Mountain at the ripe old age of 20 years-old?

    It was her guest starring role in a 2009 episode of CSI: Crime Scene Investigations in which Swift plays Haley Jones, a troubled teen who, through a complicated butterfly effect watches the people around her die and eventually completes the dark, forensic circle through her own demise.

    Her acting was nuanced, subtle and memorable which told me a couple things about Taylor Swift:

    1) Unlike Shania Twain, she is not going be a lyrical Frankenstein created in a lab by a team of producers, session players and makeup assistants.

    2) Don't expect Swift to fade away like so many "It" girls after reaching the pinnacle. My guess is that she will continue to surprise with every album and a variety of other projects.

    In other words, enjoy this early pop ride while it lasts. Much like that CSI performance, her career is about to get much more nuanced, complicated and interesting.

    Pop stardom should only be the tip of the top.

    Taylor Swift, 7p.m. at the Toyota Center tonight & Wednesday

    Tickets: $25 - $59.50.

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    Movie Review

    Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

    Alex Bentley
    Dec 26, 2025 | 2:30 pm
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda
    Photo by Matt Grace
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

    In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

    The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

    Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

    Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

    The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

    It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

    Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

    Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

    ---

    Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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