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    Kill Coyote, Will Travel

    Bear Bryant's Junction Boys draw Rick Perry (plus one security detail) toHouston

    Chris Baldwin
    Apr 28, 2010 | 4:48 pm
    • Gene Stallings and the Junction Boys owned the night.
      Photo by John R. Lewis
    • Texas Children’s Hospital President and CEO Mark A. Wallace and wife, ShannonWallace, left, were all smiles with Gov. Rick Perry and Gary L. Rosenthal, TexasChildren’s Hospital board of trustees member.
      Photo by John R. Lewis

    When Herb Wolf heard that the Texas A&M Junction Boys — essentially legendary football coach Bear Bryant's torture center test case team — had been chosen as the honoree for the Texas Children's Cancer Center's annual major fundraiser benefit, he was one skeptical Junction Boy.

    "I didn't know if anybody would show up," Wolf said. "I thought whoever came up with the idea might be fired. But look at this. It's amazing."

    Wolf gestured toward the crowd that would soon fill the Hilton America- Houston's largest ballroom, a throng more than 100-tables strong that included coyote-terminator Gov. Rick Perry and his plus one: A very large security detail. (Maybe, they were expecting another beast downtown.)

    Wolf wasn't the only one pleasantly taken aback by the turnout Tuesday night. After all, past "An Evening With The Texas Legends" events have featured Lance Armstrong, Roger Clemens and Apollo astronauts. There was a natural wonder if a bunch of old college football players in their 70s who are largely famous only as a group could draw the people — and the money — for the cancer center. But more than 1,000 people did show and raise $668,000 for the Texas Children's Cancer Center.

    It helps to pick a story from the school where the governor went. This is the first year that Perry has attended the Texas Children's Cancer Center event and he left little doubt what lured him, changing a Bible psalm to, "And the wicked will have their (University of Texas) Orange cut off."

    It was a Texas A&M lovefest — and everyone played along, even if Junction Boy Gene Stallings, who later coached the Aggie football team when Perry went to the university, admitted that the governor didn't exactly draw his attention back in those days.

    "(Perry) was on the Yell squad," Stallings said of the male cheerleaders at A&M, who are chosen in a student body vote to lead the yells at school events, particularly sports events. "He wasn't really around the football team and our players. But I'm a big believer and admirer of his now."

    Perry's security team — which has the Secret Service look down with earpieces and black jackets — is a collective admirer of ensuring the governor has plenty of space. Perry's team declared this a no-interviews night and the Governor Cops took pains to enforce that, with one tagging this innocent CultureMapper as a potential trouble maker.

    "Those guys think (Perry's) going to be President some day," Junction Boy Bob Easley said, observing the scene.

    Dr. David Poplack — the director of Texas Children's Cancer Center — was more taken with one of the most unconventional dinner entrances ever. The Junction Boys walked through a long line of Texas A&M Ross Volunteers, who raised sabres high to form an arch of swords — while a Texas A&M choir belted out a song.

    "That was one of the most impressive dinners we've ever had," Poplack said. "The entrance with all the swords and the choir alone was something else."

    When you're trying to cure pediatric cancer (Poplack's stated goal and one that he never shies away from) and nearly 20 percent of your annual funding comes from philanthropy, "impressive" is important at these events. Attendees who paid $300 per person or $3,000-$50,000 per table were amused by the Junction Boys' stories from the stage with former Houston Chronicle and Houston Post sports columnist Mickey Herskowitz trying (often vainly) to keep order as the night's interviewer.

    In truth, most of the Junction Boys didn't need a setup man. Most sports fans know the story of Bryant's infamous Junction, Texas summer camp, when the then first-year Aggie coach Bear Bryant brought two busloads of 100 players to a drought-stricken, tiny Texas town and preceded to put them through a death march of a training camp, one that would result in about 100 lawsuits today. More than 60 players quit the team before the end of the 10-day camp.

    The 36 who stayed are called Junction Boys — and on this night (with 28 of the living 32 showing), comedians.

    "I look over in the locker room one day and Bob (Easley) has on a pair of woman's panties," Billy Huddleston said. "I ask Bob what's going on and all he said was, 'All my underwear was dirty.' "

    Dennis Goehring recalled the typical blunt way Bryant reacted when he asked if he could get one of those summer jobs the coach had been handing out. "First of all," Goehring remembered Bryant barking, "we don't have a job for you. Second, you're not a football player."

    Stallings focused on his prayers for mechanical intervention. "We went on buses down a hill to the river and I was thinking, 'If the brakes would just fail.' Every time," Stallings said. "That would have been a way out (of the grueling camp) without having to quit."

    Long after Perry and his security moved on, the Junction Boys lingered around an emptying ballroom, trading more stories and quips.

    "It shocks me that people still care about a bunch of old farts like us," Junction Boy Ray Reed Barrett said. "Who would have pictured that?"

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    Movie Review

    Rachel McAdams goes feral in Sam Raimi's gory new comedy Send Help

    Alex Bentley
    Jan 29, 2026 | 2:30 pm
    Rachel McAdams in Send Help
    Photo by Brook Rushton
    Rachel McAdams in Send Help.

    Director Sam Raimi has gone through different phases as a filmmaker, including leading the first Spider-Man trilogy and joining the MCU with Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. But he first gained notice with the gory and funny Evil Dead movies, a sensibility he’s returning to with his latest film, Send Help.

    Linda Liddle (Rachel McAdams) is a meek and eccentric middle manager at a financial firm that’s just named Bradley Preston (Dylan O’Brien) as its new nepo CEO. Bradley’s dad had promised Linda a promotion to vice president, but she gets passed over in favor of one of Bradley’s frat buddies, sending her into a mild rage. Still, she gets invited along on a planned business trip to Thailand, during which she hopes to prove her worth.

    Unfortunately for most of the passengers on the private plane, it crashes into the ocean, leaving only Linda and Bradley alive on a deserted island. Linda, who has privately developed survival skills, adapts quickly to the forbidding environment, while Bradley tries to revert to bossing her around. But Linda quickly understands the power dynamic has shifted, and she uses this knowledge to try to keep Bradley in line, turning their stranding into a battle of wills.

    Directed by Raimi and written by Damian Shannon and Mark Swift, the film is the classic “so bad it’s good” kind of experience. McAdams, inarguably an attractive and charming person, is given stringy hair, an antisocial personality, and quirks like eating tuna fish at her desk to make her as off-putting as possible. Bradley, along with almost everyone else at her office, is stereotyped just as hard in order to set up the twist of fate.

    When the action shifts to the island, things get even more over the top. The audience has already been primed for Linda to demonstrate her survival expertise, but the film does way more than just show her making fire. Whether it’s flawlessly building a shelter or hunting a wild boar, everything Linda does is portrayed in a slightly off-kilter manner. Then they turn everything up to 11, indulging in gore that is so unnecessary that you can’t help but laugh.

    The filmmakers prove they’re in on the joke the rest of the way, including a variety of preposterous but hilarious scenarios that would cause massive eyerolls if they were actually trying to take the film seriously. While they do a great job of showing Linda’s ability to handle herself in the wild, they also show that she is somehow the only person in the world who could get a glow up after a plane crash and weeks living in nature.

    McAdams, an Oscar-nominated actor for Spotlight, is way too high class for a movie like this, which makes her presence here all the more interesting. She is all-in on whatever Raimi wants her to do, and she’s at her most fun when she goes the animalistic route. O’Brien, who was great in the recent Twinless, doesn’t get as much of an opportunity to show his range, but he still proves to be an interesting foil for her.

    Were it released in any other month, Send Help might be looked at as bottom of the barrel material. But with the movie year just getting started, it’s easier to forgive its outrageous plot twists and just have fun, especially since Raimi and his team put the rest of the film together so well.

    ---

    Send Help opens in theaters on January 30.

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