Glee cap: You say good-bye, I say hello to the new one-liner queen
From the moment I heard the musical theme for the psuedo-new-season premiere of Glee was songs with "Hello," in the title, my first thought was, "For the love of Wheat Thins, please, spare me the Lionel Richie."
But it wasn't to be, just as the neat wrap-ups from December — Finn choosing Rachel over Quinn, Will leaving Terri and kissing Emma, Rachel channeling her inner Barbra to lift a united team to a sectionals victory — were meant to be unceremoniously unwrapped in this ep.
The most exciting development this return season is the introduction of Jesse St. James, star of rival Glee squad Vocal Adrenaline, as Rachel's new love interest. Jesse, played to cocky but adorable high school perfection by Jonathan Grof, was introduced as Rachel's perfect foil when he opened with a critique of her sectionals solo: "You totally lack Barbra's emotional depth, but you're talented. (Recall Rachel's overture to Finn in the series premiere, "You're very talented. I should know, I'm very talented too." Talk about made for each other!)
Proof of their talent? Jesse and Rachel's version of Lionel's "Hello" was damn close to tolerable. When the closing scene where Rachel and Jesse decided to see each other in secret showed Jesse to perhaps be not all that he seems, I took it pretty hard, even though I can't freaking wait to see how this plays out.
The other new cast member, of course, is Broadway diva Idina Menzel as Vocal Adrenaline's coach, who was also getting her rival squad serve on with aren't-you-supposed-to-be-dating-Emma coach Will. Idina has not sung — yet — but her character might be deliciously evil, so I'll take her.
Sue Sylvester is back, of course, and as smarmy as ever, after she roofied the principal and blackmailed him with scandalous photos. Her plot to bring down Will Scheuster and the Glee kids continues, with the renewed participation of Cheerio/Glee spies Santana and Brittany. And look out, Sue, Brittany is lapping at your heels for the best one-liner delivery with her dim, deadpan observations. Exhibit A, on why the duo didn't wreck the sectionals performance: "We were seduced by the glitz and glamour of showbiz." Exhibit B, after scaring away Finn from a date with her and Santana: "Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?"
What did it all mean, Gleeksters? Did you want to set Will on fire with his own hair products for screwing up (and then ending) his relationship with Emma? Is Jesse St. James loving Rachel for all the wrong reasons? Did you catch blink-and-you'll-miss-them Mercedes, Kurt, Quinn, and Puck?
Are dolphins just gay sharks?