Pitbull's Dirty Rodeo Night

Pitbull's dirty night at the Rodeo: Stripping dancers, plenty of tongue and the world's largest VIP party

Here’s a true life lesson from the 2015 Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo: It’s a Pitbull world party and we’re just guests at it.

This year’s rodeo has already given us some spectacular performances, but only Armando Christian Pérez (aka Mr. Worldwide, Mr. 305, Pitbull) could so easily turn his concert into a stadium-wide party with 75,013 — the highest rodeo attendance this year — of his favorite Houston friends on his guest list. There was standing room only, until they sold out all the room we could stand in, and still the party went on.

Pitbull is such an expert at throwing a “Don’t Stop the Party” party, I feel like his example can serve as a party-planning tutorial for us all. So if you too want your next get-together to get your audience, I mean guests, on their feet and never let them rest, try these tried and true Pitbull partying tips.

Make a Dramatic Entrance After Your Guests Arrive

All the best divas and divos know this one and Pitbull certainly did too only appearing after a burst of NRG fireworks and then a scrolling bio on the giant Rodeo video screens above the stage. Now normally announcing your presence with an entry from your Wikipedia page might seem a bit gauche, but the scroll effect and narrative of his humble beginnings and how he battled life’s adversities to get there that night, made it seem like Pitbull was going to fight the Imperial Fleet for us right there on stage.

Always Let Them See You Sweat

A wet all over body sheen is hot, sexy and shows you’re working hard for your guests’ enjoyment, be it a special guest of one or tens of thousands. Pitbull began the night in a crisp black jacket, shirt, and pants and ended sans jacket, with his black shirt so soaked in his own sweat, he looked like he had just risen from the Atlantic waves ready to join us for a walk along his beloved Miami beach.

An Interest in Genealogy Can Be a Great Icebreaker

If Pitbull ever gets bored hosting these party extravaganzas across the globe, he might want to try his hand as a census taker. Certainly citizens would be much more likely to give their personal stats if Pitbull came knocking at their door.

I lost track after about the seventh costume change made by the lovely Pit dancers, but couldn’t figure out where the hell they were stripping and changing.

Armando took a breather after letting it “Rain Over Me” to poll the dancing crowd on our heritage and our rainbow of ancestral homelands. (For the record, the screams for Mexicano almost brought the roof down, even though we had been continuously raising that roof since Pitbull first took the stage.)

Have a Discreet Place for Your Guests to Freshen Up

I lost track after about the seventh costume change made by the lovely Pit dancers, but couldn’t figure out where the hell they were stripping and changing, because they would just suddenly pop up out of nowhere, hips thrusting alongside Pitbull in an entirely new and song-appropriate attire. It wasn’t until late into the show that I realized there were some black curtains towards the back of the revolving stage.

Always the gentleman, and a bit like a magician, Mr. Worldwide kept our attention on himself until his ladies were ready to materialize again.

If Your Best Friends Can’t Be There, Get Your New Friends Involved in Helping Entertain.

Not even Pitbull could call upon J.Lo, Usher, Marc Anthony, Kesha and Christina Aguilera to all attend his Rodeo party and sing their parts in his hits, so while their recorded presence was there Friday night, he also asked the rest of us to sing the best lyrics with him. Not only did our singalong bring us closer, now we all can say we understudied brilliantly for Usher.

It Never Hurts to Give Them a Taste of Your Best Attributes

Forget Miley Cyrus, Pitbull is the true master of the tongue flash and wag.

Don’t Be Afraid to Have a Hokey Theme

Sometimes a party with a message can fall flat, but if it’s truly sincere, take a chance. Pitbull did, using stories from his life and rise to fame as an inspiration for his guests to turn negativities and adversities into fuel to make positive changes in our lives and in the world. He let us muse on that final lesson as we headed home, our hips still gyrating away as we went.

Pitbull's Rodeo Set List:

Don’t Stop the Party

International Love

Hey Baby

Danza Kuduro

Sube Las Manos Pa' Arriba

Fireball

After the Rain

I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)

On the Floor

I Like It

DJ Got Us Falling in Love

Hotel Room

Timber

Feel this Moment

Give Me Everything

Pitbull certainly enjoyed himself on the grand Houston Rodeo stage.

Photo by Chinh Phan

Pitbull certainly enjoyed himself on the grand Houston Rodeo stage.

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Movie Review

Star TV producer James L. Brooks stumbles with meandering movie Ella McCay

Photo courtesy of 20th Century Studios

Emma Mackey in Ella McCay.

The impact that writer/director/producer James L. Brooks has made on Hollywood cannot be understated. The 85-year-old created The Mary Tyler Moore Show, personally won three Oscars for Terms of Endearment, and was one of the driving forces behind The Simpsons, among many other credits. Now, 15 years after his last movie, he’s back in the directing chair with Ella McCay.

The similarly-named Emma Mackey plays Ella, a 34-year-old lieutenant governor of an unnamed state in 2008 who’s on the verge of becoming governor when Governor Bill (Albert Brooks) gets picked to be a member of the president’s Cabinet. What should be a happy time is sullied by her needy husband, Ryan (Jack Lowden), her agoraphobic brother, Casey (Spike Fearn), and her perpetually-cheating father, Eddie (Woody Harrelson).

Despite the trio of men competing to bring her down, Ella remains an unapologetic optimist, an attitude bolstered by her aunt Helen (Jamie Lee Curtis), her assistant Estelle (Julie Kavner), and her police escort, Trooper Nash (Kumail Nanjiani). The film follows her over a few days as she navigates the perils of governing, the distractions her family brings, and the expectations being thrust upon her by many different people.

Brooks, who wrote and directed the film, is all over the place with his storytelling. What at first seems to be a straightforward story about Ella and her various issues soon starts meandering into areas that, while related to Ella, don’t make the film better. Prime among them are her brother and father, who are given a relatively small amount of screentime in comparison to the importance they have in her life. This is compounded by a confounding subplot in which Casey tries to win back his girlfriend, Susan (Ayo Edebiri).

Then there’s the whole political side of the story, which never finds its focus and is stuck in the past. Though it’s never stated explicitly, Ella and Governor Bill appear to be Democrats, especially given a signature program Ella pushes to help mothers in need. But if Brooks was trying to provide an antidote to the current real world politics, he doesn’t succeed, as Ella’s full goals are never clear. He also inexplicably shows her boring her fellow lawmakers to tears, a strange trait to give the person for whom the audience is supposed to be rooting.

What saves the movie from being an all-out train wreck is the performances of Mackey and Curtis. Mackey, best known for the Netflix show Sex Education, has an assured confidence to her that keeps the character interesting and likable even when the story goes downhill. Curtis, who has tended to go over-the-top with her roles in recent years, tones it down, offering a warm place of comfort for Ella to turn to when she needs it. The two complement each other very well and are the best parts of the movie by far.

Brooks puts much more effort into his female actors, including Kavner, who, even though she serves as an unnecessary narrator, gets most of the best laugh lines in the film. Harrelson is capable of playing a great cad, but his character here isn’t fleshed out enough. Fearn is super annoying in his role, and Lowden isn’t much better, although that could be mostly due to what his character is called to do. Were it not for the always-great Brooks and Nanjiani, the movie might be devoid of good male performances.

Brooks has made many great TV shows and movies in his 60+ year career, but Ella McCay is a far cry from his best. The only positive that comes out of it is the boosting of Mackey, who proves herself capable of not only leading a film, but also elevating one that would otherwise be a slog to get through.

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Ella McCay opens in theaters on December 12.

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