Fake it 'til you make it

A newbie's guide to Lost: 10 ways to bluff through the season premiere

A newbie's guide to Lost: 10 ways to bluff through the season premiere

The last season of Lost has finally arrived and if you haven't been following the series, the premiere will make no sense to you. Just missing one episode puts you way behind—and it's nearly impossible to catch up. But if you have been watching the series since the beginning, as we have, Tuesday night's premiere is the biggest thing since the mystery of who shot J.R. Ewing during the heyday of Dallas. 

Avid fans are obsessive about the series, so if you happen to be watching the show with some diehards, here's a "cheat sheet" that will get you through the night—and maybe even impress the faithful.

Before we get started, a few points to remember:

  • Lost fans pay attention to every detail— silence is absolutely golden.
  • When engaging a fan in conversation, "I don't know," "That always confused me," or "I'm still working on my theory" are perfectly valid answers to ANY question. Everyone has a theory, everyone has an interpretation, but no one really knows the answer to anything.

This being the case, here are 10 talking points to throw out into the Lost-verse that should establish you as a Lost veteran.

1. "Whatever happened to the polar bears?"

2. "It's a shame they killed off Libby."

*bonus points: "I don't understand why everyone hated Ana Lucia. I found her really complex and interesting." 

3. "I wonder what's gonna happen to Claire."

4. "Who are the true protectors of the island, the Dharma Initiative or The Others?"

5. "What's the deal with the smoke monster, anyway?"

If you want to take it to the next level, here are some more complicated routines to perform. 

6. You have two options — straight-laced Jack, or sexy, shirtless Sawyer. Pick one, and then say, "I just think Kate belongs with ________." You're sure to get strong opinions from everyone in the room.

7. Jacob has been a mysterious presence on the island since almost the beginning. In last season's cliffhanger, he was revealed as a deity-like figure and possibly killed. Initiate a comparison between Jacob and Christ.

*bonus points: Compare John Locke, who has been killed and come back to life, to the anti-Christ. People may argue he's actually the Christ character.

8. A main mystery of Lost is how the characters travel through time and space. Throw out, "Do you think its possible for them to change the future?" They wouldn't be Lost fans if they didn't care about this sort of thing.

9. Some of the characters have names that mirror a philosopher or theologian. If you're a philosophy buff, point this out and then open up discussion on their beliefs.

  • John Locke (philosopher John Locke)
  • Desmond David Hume (philosopher David Hume)
  • Dr. Charlotte Staples Lewis (theologian C. S. Lewis)

*Bonus points: Miles Straum is named to remind viewers of a "maelstrom."

**Extra bonus points: Penelope Widmore, wife of Desmond Hume, reminds us of Penelope from Homer's Odyssey. She too spends years waiting for the return of her love.

10. If you're into fashion, you can attempt a conversation on Lost styles. This topic may be a little tricky to maneuver, but here are some pointers:

  • Kate — always has a tank top, or rolled up short-sleeved shirt which is usually wet or damp.
  • Sawyer — most likely to be shirtless or almost shirtless.
  • Jack — never shirtless. Loves button-ups.
  • Juliet — Loves Old Navy styles (she may be dead though).
  • John Locke — cargo or khaki pants with an earth-toned t-shirt, tucked in.
News_Lost season finale_Feb 10
Courtesy of ABC
News_Lost season finale_Feb 10
Kate, it's time to decide. Hottie number 1 or hottie number 2 — it's not that difficult. Courtesy of ABC
News_Lost season finale_Feb 10
Shirtless Sawyer with Juliet, who may or may not be dead Courtesy of ABC