Live Music Now

These are the 6 best concerts in Houston this week

All hail Houston-raised Lizzo.

The R&B, pop, and hip-hop inspired artist garnered three Grammys at the music industry's biggest awards ceremony in Los Angeles this past Sunday, taking home the golden gramophones for Pop Solo Performance for the single "Truth Hurts," Urban Contemporary Album for the breakthrough hit, Cuz I Love You, and for Traditional R&B Performance for the song "Jerome." It was the culmination of years of grinding it out on the road for the Alief Elsik High School grad and University of Houston flute student.

Next week, RodeoHouston officials will reveal three secret performers that have yet to be announced. They will make these announcements at local high schools — if that drops a hint. How cool would it be to see Lizzo giving it that "Juice" on the rodeo stage at NRG Stadium this March? Make it happen, RodeoHouston.

Meanwhile, Houston crowds will get to take in music acts looking for their big break or reveling in their established success on local stages. Here are CultureMap's biggest, best, and most notable shows of the week.

Armin Van Buuren at Revention Music Center
It's time to pray at the altar of rave music. Few performers have left a legacy as strong as Dutch DJ/producer Armin Van Buuren. The trance master first gained fame in the early days of the EDM craze, taking ravers on a journey of sound, heavily relying on synths and the build-drop technique popular today.

Across his nearly 25 years behind the decks, Buuren has been named world's best DJ five times by the dance bible, DJ Mag, and he holds the record for most chart placements on Billboard for his production work. Buuren's popularity shows no sign of waning — he broadcasts his popular radio show, State of Trance, to 40 million people worldwide.

Armin Van Buuren brings the beats to Revention Music Center, located at 520 Texas Ave., on Thursday, January 30. Tickets start at $45 plus fees. Doors open at 8 pm.

CultureMap recommends: Black Pumas at White Oak Music Hall
Not many rock bands are hotter right now than Austin's Black Pumas, who have been playing the local circuit for years before gaining notice with their fantastic 2019 self-titled album filled with psychedelic-meets-R&B-meets-rock numbers.

While duo of Adrian Quesada and Eric Burton have always been talented, they've really tapped into their potential as recording artists to go alongside their fiery live performances. Their success was evident by a sweet spot on Late Night with Jimmy Kimmel to perform "Colors." Don't sleep on tickets — this show will likely sell out.

Black Pumas continue their rise at White Oak Music Hall, located at 2915 N. Main St., on Friday, January 31. Tickets are $25 plus fees. Harry Edohoukwa opens. Doors open at 8 pm.

CultureMap show of the week: Celine Dion at Toyota Center
Near...far...wherever you are... that chart-shattering refrain from the world-beating Titanic soundtrack is just one of the many major hits by French-Canadian chanteuse Celine Dion seared into our collective consciousness. The award-winning singer will step away from her extremely successful run in Las Vegas to head out on a world tour around the release of her new album, Courage.

Say what you want about Dion, the woman has some of the most powerful pipes in the business and has transformed herself from pop radio filler into one of the most polished live performers on the touring circuit. If you want to know the sheer power of a larynx, or maybe "The Power of Love," show up to Toyota Center this weekend and get ready to be enthralled by one monster of a voice.

Celine Dion performs at Toyota Center, located at 1510 Polk St., on Saturday, February 1. Tickets start at $59.50 plus service fees. Doors open at 6:30 pm.

Chaka Khan at Arena Theatre
Recently inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the ever entertaining Chaka Khan has seen a successful second career after turn in funk band Rufus. Khan is a 10-time Grammy winner and at 66 years old, shows no sign in stopping, assembling a killer live band that has been captivating audiences for years.

While she hasn't had a hit in some time, those hits are more than worth the price of admission and will no doubt get people dancing in their seats, including "I Feel For You," "I'm Every Woman," and "Tell Me Something Good."

Chaka Khan performs at Arena Theatre, located at 7326 Southwest Fwy., on Saturday, February 1. Tickets start at $39.50 plus fees. Show starts at 8:30 pm.

Saint Motel at House of Blues
The upbeat pop-disco vibes of Orange County, California's Saint Motel were on full display on their 2016 album Saintmotelevision, which gained them mainstream notoriety thanks to colorful videos for singles "My Type" and "Move." They are back with the first part of a three-part project called The Original Motion Picture Soundtrack, which will form their next full-length. If you're into non-abrasive fun, this is the show to catch this week.

Saint Motel is at House of Blues, located at 1204 Caroline St., on Saturday, February 1. Kolars open. Tickets start at $25 plus fees. Doors open at 7 pm.

Pop-rock act Saint Motel performs at House of Blues on Saturday, February 1.

Courtesy Atlantic Records

Pop-rock act Saint Motel performs at House of Blues on Saturday, February 1.

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Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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