I'm afraid when Ozzy Osbourne takes the stage these days, but not in the same way I was nearly 30 years ago. Back then all-things-Ozzy were synonymous with faux-Satanism and his concerts included some ritual sacrifice of biting the head off a bat or stomping puppies with his boot heel.
These days I'm just afraid that Ozzy, Prince of Darkness — now 62 years-old but scuffling and mumbling as if he's not a day over 80 — will break a hip.
(For the record: The puppy thing is an urban myth. The bat-biting did happen once in 1982, but he thought the bat was rubber. No one was probably more upset by that incident then Ozzy once he realized that he just munched on a rabies-infested winged rat.)
As a rule, the more hard-core the music, the less gracefully it ages. It's no wonder then, that after 42 years of turning the misdirected rage of his teenage fans into head-banging chants like "War Pigs" and "Crazy Train" — first with Black Sabbath in the late 60's and 70's before going solo in 1980 — Ozzy's consciousness level is somewhere between Mr. Magoo and the Crypt Keeper.
The truth is that Ozzy is not very dangerous anymore. If he tried to bite the head off a bat these days my guess is that his Polident would give before the bat's spine did.
That does not mean, however, that he is not a still an entertaining showman. And it certainly doesn't mean that this member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (inducted with the rest of Black Sabbath in 2006) and his airtight band of youthful henchmen don't have a lot of music to offer. Recent setlists have included Sabbath favorites like "Fairies Wear Boots" and "War Pigs," as well as solo nuggets like "Mr.Crowley" and "Shot In The Dark."
Bonus: Get there early, because heavy metal guitar maestro Slash (he was the sane member of Guns n' Roses) opens for Ozzy and his self-titles new album is one of the better hard-charging blues-based metal albums to be turned out since the hey-day of AC/DC.
The Gold Over America Tour cast performing on NBC's "America's Got Talent."
First came the gold medals, now comes the Gold Over America Tour, the gymnastics mega-show headlined by Simone Biles, currently touring 30 cities around the United States and coming to Houston’s Toyota Center on Saturday, October 19.
Joining Biles are fellow Paris Olympic champions Jordan Chiles, Jade Carey, and Hezly Rivera, along with bronze medal-winning men’s team members Paul Juda, Brody Malone, Asher Hong, and Fred Richard, plus other gymnastics superstars. Adding men to the G.O.A.T. showcase is a new twist; the 2021 tour, post-Tokyo Olympics, had a cast made up entirely of women women.
It’s a change that Biles hopes will help elevate men’s gymnastics around the country.
Juda, for one, couldn’t be more grateful. The Olympic medalist is still riding the wave of excitement from winning the first USA men’s team medal in 16 years, along with having achieved his own dream of competing in the Olympic individual all-around final.
We recently chatted with Juda, who took us behind the scenes of the G.O.A.T. show, the squad, and life on the tour bus as a college student missing classes to travel the country like a rock star.
CultureMap: At the Olympics this summer, the whole vibe of men’s and women’s USA gymnastics seemed happy and supportive of each other. How are you carrying that camaraderie into performing together as a troupe in the Gold Over America Tour?
Paul Juda: I think during the whole Olympic experience we just had a lot of joy. We had a lot of of fun outside of those two hours of competition. So the competition in and of itself was kind of like a "mission critical," and we were pretty focused, but we still tried to keep it light.
On this, there's no real competition; we’re here to put on the best show possible for the audience. And as long as we can kind of keep leaning in on each other like our support system, the shows are going to come easier because it's going to be a long tour. It's going to be hard, but fun together.
I can already see even just on the the two nights and three days that we've been here together, we've had a lot of fun. We're all best friends here, and we're going to bring that kind of energy to the stage.
Q: The last Gold Over America Tour was all women - and the theme was very much female empowerment, and girls as superheroes. Now that men are included, what can we expect from the show this time?
PJ: I think it's awesome (men are included) and I'm not even gonna lie, this tour just got, like, a million times better after making a medal. I'm really excited to get to do the show. It's going to be a lot of back and forth (between men and women). Yeah, we're doing some gymnastics; we're trying to learn a little bit of dancing. We've got lights, we've got a lot of songs, and we're bouncing off of each other's stories. There's going to be a lot of really fun, fun parts. (Note: Here's a preview.)
CM: Figure skating has shows like “Stars on Ice” and the old “Ice Capades” that they can join after the Olympics to perform for audiences. Would you like to see something like that for gymnasts, who often don’t get to really “entertain” audiences?
PJ: Yeah, (in gymnastics) we use the human body to all of its maximum capability, and (learning) dance moves, I enjoy using a different side of my brain. I'm a guy who would also enjoy a musical or a Broadway show or something like that, just for the element of like, “Wow. Look at the choreography and how they're able to add the music and the lights and everything in the whole production.”
And then you couple it with the fact that we have, like, extraordinary strength and flexibility and we can kind of do almost circus-like events, but then also add in a touch of difficulty - like hey, okay, they're not just acrobats; they also spent 20 years doing this sport.
I feel like it's the ultimate show. You know, it's some dance lights, some music, a storyline, you can watch your favorite athlete and then see him or her in a kind of different light. Now the athlete literally just gets to have fun out there. I wouldn't see why people wouldn't want to see more of this type of show.
CM: There’s so much buzz around gymnastics during the Olympics. How do you keep those fans interested the other three years in between, especially men’s gymnastics?
PJ: I'm hoping this tour does that, and I'm also confident, like anything that we do afterwards on the global stage (like "pommel horse guy" Stephen Nedoroscik competing on Dancing With the Stars), I hope people are like, "Oh yeah, I see them doing that. But I also remember they represent men's gymnastics."
Paul Juda on parallel bars for the University of Michigan team.Photo by John Cheng
Q: A lot of cast members are in college, including yourself (a graduate student), and you’re also captain of the University of Michigan Men’s Gymnastics team. How will you balance your studies and college athletics commitments while you’re on tour?
PJ: (He holds up a notebook with a calendar planner filled in.) This. I'm looking at my schedule today, I've got a weekly reflection. I've got a case to work on. I've got a data analytics assignment, a lecture to watch, and a reading quiz to do, so, it's a lot for sure. Hopefully after this tour I can come back and be in a really good place with my team. It's really bittersweet. (Teammate Fred Richard and I) we were able to have our only really big tailgate of the year for the Michigan football game last week. And I'm just so heartbroken because that that's like my favorite part of the year.
I think my team will be okay, though, and I've left some excellent people in charge … phenomenal captains, and I have no doubt that they'll keep the team on pace, and if they need anything from me, they'll text me.
And on top of that, in terms of school, I think honestly, if anything, it’ll just keep me doing the right things. I got to go to bed early to wake up early and get some homework done, that's probably for the best. I’ll try to do some lectures on the tour bus and stuff.
CM:The reception in Houston - hometown of Simone Biles and adopted hometown of Jordan Chiles - will be nuts, and of course Fort Worth is where the last National Championships was held this past summer. What cities are you most looking forward to?
PJ: Chicago and Detroit are going to be my two main places. I've got a lot of people coming for the Detroit show from University of Michigan, and then Chicago, that’s where I'm from. Every time that I've visited Texas, I really enjoy Texas. We'll have a lot of fun. I'm excited to see the Texans come out and specifically in that Austin area, we've got a lot of people there.
CM: Well, don’t forget your cowboy hat.
PJ: Alright!
Note: This interview was edited for clarity and brevity. The Gold Over America Tour, presented by Athleta, will take place at 7:30 pm October 19 at the Toyota Center in Houston. For tickets ($35-$500) and more information, visit the website.
Paul Juda on parallel bars for the University of Michigan team.Photo by John Cheng