Observations & ruminations

Golden Globes rundown: Ricky Gervais' snarkiest lines, best penis jokes & oh,yes, the winners — Clooney, Streep & Madonna

Ricky Gervais lived up to his billing
Handout Photo/Getty Images North America
George Clooney won Best Actor in a Drama for his role in The Descendents
Handout Photo/Getty Images North America
Jane Fonda wins my award for "The Most Smokin' Hot MILF."
Handout Photo/Getty Images North America
The Artist won Best Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical

In the wake of watching Sunday’s telecast of the 69^th annual Golden Globe Awards on NBC, some random observations and ruminations:

AS NASTY AS HE WANTED TO BE: Didn’t look or sound like Ricky Gervais had reined it in at all for his third gig as host. “It’s so good,” he wisecracked at one point in the evening, “having a job where you can get drunk and say what you want. And they pay you.”

“It’s so good,” Gervais wisecracked at one point in the evening, “having a job where you can get drunk and say what you want. And they pay you.”

"The Hollywood Foreign Press have warned me,” he announced early on, “that if I insult any of you, or any of them, or offend any viewers or cause any controversy whatsoever, they'll definitely invite me back next year as well.”

If that’s true, well, I guess his remarks about Jodie Foster’s Beaver guaranteed a four-peet.

THE LONG RUN: Do you think the people making the seating arrangements thought Laura Dern really didn’t have a shot at winning her Globe as Best TV Actress – Comedy for Enlightened? I mean, geez louise, the poor woman was at a table so far back in the auditorium that she had to walk down steps, bob and weave her way through tables on the main floor, and then dash up steps to pick up her prize. Honest: I was afraid she wouldn’t get there before the clapping stopped.

BEST INTRO OF THE NIGHT: Seth Rogen stands next to Best Film Actress – Comedy award co-presenter Kate Beckinsale and announces: “Hello, I’m Seth Rogen. And I am currently trying to conceal a massive erection.”

Hey, Seth, I’ve interviewed the lady. I can feel your pain.

TURNABOUT IS FAIR PLAY: Brad Pitt introduces the clip from The Ides of March. George Clooney introduces the clip from Moneyball. Coincidence? I don’t think so. Of course, neither did any other reasonably sentient adult watching the show.

MEOW: Ricky Gervais introduces Madonna (presenter of the Best Foreign-Language Film award) by introducing her as “The Queen of Pop,” interrupts himself to take a dig at Elton John – “Not you, Elton! Sit down!” – then caps it off with allusions to various and sundry Madonna hits. Including, of course, “Like a Virgin.”

But Madonna strikes back: “If I’m still just like a virgin, Ricky, why don’t you come out here and do something about it? I haven’t kissed a girl in years… on stage.”

Really, when was the last time you saw two people at an awards show who seemed less in love?

CLASSIEST ACT: OK, I admit it, Sidney Poitier looked every minute of his 84 years as he paid tribute to Morgan Freeman upon the occasion of Freeman’s receiving the Cecil B. DeMille Award for lifetime achievement – a prize Poitier himself was given way back in 1982. His speech was interminably slow, halting. But when he more or less invited Freeman into the pantheon of living legends – “Welcome aboard, Morgan Freeman!” – I am not the least bit ashamed that I got all teary eyed.

UPSET: I predicted that Michel Hazanavicius would get the Best Director award for The Artist. Instead, Martin Scorsese won for Hugo, my favorite movie of 2011. I have never at any point ever in my life been happier to see one of my predictions proven wrong.

SON OF A BITCH: Is it just me, or did Uggie the pooch from The Artist appear eager to hump Jean Dujardin’s leg the whole time the movie’s producer tried to give his acceptance speech?

AND THE AWARD FOR MOST SMOKIN’ HOT MILF GOES TO: Jane Fonda.

MOST OBVIOUSLY HAMMERED WINNER: Jessica Lange.

BEST PENIS JOKE: George Clooney’s shout-out to Michael Fassbender (Shame).

BEST NON-BLEEPED NAUGHTY BIT: Morgan Freeman to Helen Mirren: “Watching you handle a gun [in Red, their only co-starring stint to date] makes me know I don’t want to piss you off.”

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE MEGAPLEX: Throughout the parade of accolades for The Artist, I found myself thinking: Am I the only one who felt that writer-director Michel Hazanavicius kinda-sorta steps on his own punchline in the movie’s final moments? I mean, it’s supposed to be something of a mildly surprising payoff when we learn the real reason why faded silent-movie superstar George Valentin (Jean Dujardin) has avoided making talking pictures, right? (Not exactly a spoiler: The guy has a pronounced French accent.) But this revelation comes across so hastily and off-handedly — to me, at least — that I’ll bet the joke goes right over the heads of many people. Even people who like the film.

LEAST SURPRISING WIN: Meryl Streep for The Iron Lady. Seriously: Was there ever any doubt?

WORST PERFORMANCE: Meryl Streep trying to look surprised… when she won for The Iron Lady.

I TOLD YOU SO: Madonna got her Golden Globe for Best Song – just like I predicted. Would I lie to you?

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Movie Review

Feuding couple fights for survival in dark comedy Over Your Dead Body

Photo courtesy of IFC Films

Jason Segel and Samara Weaving on Over Your Dead Body.

When dysfunctional couples are depicted in movies, about the worst that typically happens is an acrimonious divorce. But in the new comedy/thriller Over Your Dead Body, the husband-and-wife have already gone way past that point by the time they’re introduced to the audience, with their plans leaning toward murder.

Dan (Jason Segel) is a low-level filmmaker relegated to directing pop-up ads, while Lisa (Samara Weaving) is an actor making do in small theater productions. The film finds them heading toward a rare getaway to a remote lake cabin, but it’s clear from the start that the married couple has been at odds for months, if not years. As the film begins, Dan clumsily drops hints at an alibi for his planned murder of Lisa to his ailing dad (Paul Guilfoyle) and others.

His shoddy planning was already sussed out by Lisa, who turns the tables on him when he tries to attack her, revealing a plan of her own. The situation naturally heightens their shared enmity of each other, but their blind hatred turns out to reveal the presence of Pete (Timothy Olyphant) and Todd (Keith Jardine), two escapees from a nearby prison who were helped by guard Allegra (Juliette Lewis). What was once a shared murder plan turns into a fight for survival, forcing Dan and Lisa to work together.

Directed by Jorma Taccone (The Lonely Island) and written by former SNL writers Nick Kocher and Briand McElhaney, the film aims to mine comedy out of darkness. Dan and Lisa’s ire for each other is palpable, and their interactions early in the film are uncomfortable. As the film turns increasingly violent with the introduction of other unsavory characters, most of the humor is derived from the creative ways people are attacked and the ultraviolence that results from them going after each other.

It’s a little tough to get fully invested in the story when the filmmakers throw the audience directly into the plot with almost zero setup. There’s not even a cursory montage of Dan and Lisa being in love, so it’s hard to care a lot about their current hate for each other. Likewise, the presence of the prison guard and escapees is completely random, and the three of them aren’t utilized well in the story despite having a couple of well-known actors portraying them.

The saving grace of the film, though, is the twists and turns it takes in the final act. Everyone on screen is put through the wringer, with each of them suffering multiple injuries or worse. The mayhem becomes so chaotic that it’s almost impossible to tell what’s going to happen next, which slightly makes up for the fact that the story as a whole is lackluster. Even though the audience knows they’re being manipulated, the sequences are entertaining enough to overcome that fact.

The cast as a whole is solid. Segel (How I Met Your Mother, Shrinking) uses his comic sensibility to keep the proceedings light. Weaving (Ready or Not) has done multiple movies in this vein, so she knows how to navigate the comedy/thriller waters. Olyphant feels a little out of place, but he has a presence that elevates his part. Lewis goes a little too manic in her part, and Jardine ably embodies the dumb brute.

The comedy history of Taccone, Segel, and Weaving keeps Over Your Dead Body as a positive experience even when the story doesn’t quite measure up. The film never becomes fully predictable, giving the audience a great dose of pandemonium that lifts it up despite its other faults.

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Over Your Dead Body is now playing in theaters.

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Observations & ruminations

Golden Globes rundown: Ricky Gervais' snarkiest lines, best penis jokes & oh,yes, the winners — Clooney, Streep & Madonna

Movie Review

Feuding couple fights for survival in dark comedy Over Your Dead Body

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