Observations & ruminations

Golden Globes rundown: Ricky Gervais' snarkiest lines, best penis jokes & oh,yes, the winners — Clooney, Streep & Madonna

Ricky Gervais lived up to his billing
Handout Photo/Getty Images North America
George Clooney won Best Actor in a Drama for his role in The Descendents
Handout Photo/Getty Images North America
Jane Fonda wins my award for "The Most Smokin' Hot MILF."
Handout Photo/Getty Images North America
The Artist won Best Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical

In the wake of watching Sunday’s telecast of the 69^th annual Golden Globe Awards on NBC, some random observations and ruminations:

AS NASTY AS HE WANTED TO BE: Didn’t look or sound like Ricky Gervais had reined it in at all for his third gig as host. “It’s so good,” he wisecracked at one point in the evening, “having a job where you can get drunk and say what you want. And they pay you.”

“It’s so good,” Gervais wisecracked at one point in the evening, “having a job where you can get drunk and say what you want. And they pay you.”

"The Hollywood Foreign Press have warned me,” he announced early on, “that if I insult any of you, or any of them, or offend any viewers or cause any controversy whatsoever, they'll definitely invite me back next year as well.”

If that’s true, well, I guess his remarks about Jodie Foster’s Beaver guaranteed a four-peet.

THE LONG RUN: Do you think the people making the seating arrangements thought Laura Dern really didn’t have a shot at winning her Globe as Best TV Actress – Comedy for Enlightened? I mean, geez louise, the poor woman was at a table so far back in the auditorium that she had to walk down steps, bob and weave her way through tables on the main floor, and then dash up steps to pick up her prize. Honest: I was afraid she wouldn’t get there before the clapping stopped.

BEST INTRO OF THE NIGHT: Seth Rogen stands next to Best Film Actress – Comedy award co-presenter Kate Beckinsale and announces: “Hello, I’m Seth Rogen. And I am currently trying to conceal a massive erection.”

Hey, Seth, I’ve interviewed the lady. I can feel your pain.

TURNABOUT IS FAIR PLAY: Brad Pitt introduces the clip from The Ides of March. George Clooney introduces the clip from Moneyball. Coincidence? I don’t think so. Of course, neither did any other reasonably sentient adult watching the show.

MEOW: Ricky Gervais introduces Madonna (presenter of the Best Foreign-Language Film award) by introducing her as “The Queen of Pop,” interrupts himself to take a dig at Elton John – “Not you, Elton! Sit down!” – then caps it off with allusions to various and sundry Madonna hits. Including, of course, “Like a Virgin.”

But Madonna strikes back: “If I’m still just like a virgin, Ricky, why don’t you come out here and do something about it? I haven’t kissed a girl in years… on stage.”

Really, when was the last time you saw two people at an awards show who seemed less in love?

CLASSIEST ACT: OK, I admit it, Sidney Poitier looked every minute of his 84 years as he paid tribute to Morgan Freeman upon the occasion of Freeman’s receiving the Cecil B. DeMille Award for lifetime achievement – a prize Poitier himself was given way back in 1982. His speech was interminably slow, halting. But when he more or less invited Freeman into the pantheon of living legends – “Welcome aboard, Morgan Freeman!” – I am not the least bit ashamed that I got all teary eyed.

UPSET: I predicted that Michel Hazanavicius would get the Best Director award for The Artist. Instead, Martin Scorsese won for Hugo, my favorite movie of 2011. I have never at any point ever in my life been happier to see one of my predictions proven wrong.

SON OF A BITCH: Is it just me, or did Uggie the pooch from The Artist appear eager to hump Jean Dujardin’s leg the whole time the movie’s producer tried to give his acceptance speech?

AND THE AWARD FOR MOST SMOKIN’ HOT MILF GOES TO: Jane Fonda.

MOST OBVIOUSLY HAMMERED WINNER: Jessica Lange.

BEST PENIS JOKE: George Clooney’s shout-out to Michael Fassbender (Shame).

BEST NON-BLEEPED NAUGHTY BIT: Morgan Freeman to Helen Mirren: “Watching you handle a gun [in Red, their only co-starring stint to date] makes me know I don’t want to piss you off.”

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE MEGAPLEX: Throughout the parade of accolades for The Artist, I found myself thinking: Am I the only one who felt that writer-director Michel Hazanavicius kinda-sorta steps on his own punchline in the movie’s final moments? I mean, it’s supposed to be something of a mildly surprising payoff when we learn the real reason why faded silent-movie superstar George Valentin (Jean Dujardin) has avoided making talking pictures, right? (Not exactly a spoiler: The guy has a pronounced French accent.) But this revelation comes across so hastily and off-handedly — to me, at least — that I’ll bet the joke goes right over the heads of many people. Even people who like the film.

LEAST SURPRISING WIN: Meryl Streep for The Iron Lady. Seriously: Was there ever any doubt?

WORST PERFORMANCE: Meryl Streep trying to look surprised… when she won for The Iron Lady.

I TOLD YOU SO: Madonna got her Golden Globe for Best Song – just like I predicted. Would I lie to you?

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Movie Review

Star TV producer James L. Brooks stumbles with meandering movie Ella McCay

Photo courtesy of 20th Century Studios

Emma Mackey in Ella McCay.

The impact that writer/director/producer James L. Brooks has made on Hollywood cannot be understated. The 85-year-old created The Mary Tyler Moore Show, personally won three Oscars for Terms of Endearment, and was one of the driving forces behind The Simpsons, among many other credits. Now, 15 years after his last movie, he’s back in the directing chair with Ella McCay.

The similarly-named Emma Mackey plays Ella, a 34-year-old lieutenant governor of an unnamed state in 2008 who’s on the verge of becoming governor when Governor Bill (Albert Brooks) gets picked to be a member of the president’s Cabinet. What should be a happy time is sullied by her needy husband, Ryan (Jack Lowden), her agoraphobic brother, Casey (Spike Fearn), and her perpetually-cheating father, Eddie (Woody Harrelson).

Despite the trio of men competing to bring her down, Ella remains an unapologetic optimist, an attitude bolstered by her aunt Helen (Jamie Lee Curtis), her assistant Estelle (Julie Kavner), and her police escort, Trooper Nash (Kumail Nanjiani). The film follows her over a few days as she navigates the perils of governing, the distractions her family brings, and the expectations being thrust upon her by many different people.

Brooks, who wrote and directed the film, is all over the place with his storytelling. What at first seems to be a straightforward story about Ella and her various issues soon starts meandering into areas that, while related to Ella, don’t make the film better. Prime among them are her brother and father, who are given a relatively small amount of screentime in comparison to the importance they have in her life. This is compounded by a confounding subplot in which Casey tries to win back his girlfriend, Susan (Ayo Edebiri).

Then there’s the whole political side of the story, which never finds its focus and is stuck in the past. Though it’s never stated explicitly, Ella and Governor Bill appear to be Democrats, especially given a signature program Ella pushes to help mothers in need. But if Brooks was trying to provide an antidote to the current real world politics, he doesn’t succeed, as Ella’s full goals are never clear. He also inexplicably shows her boring her fellow lawmakers to tears, a strange trait to give the person for whom the audience is supposed to be rooting.

What saves the movie from being an all-out train wreck is the performances of Mackey and Curtis. Mackey, best known for the Netflix show Sex Education, has an assured confidence to her that keeps the character interesting and likable even when the story goes downhill. Curtis, who has tended to go over-the-top with her roles in recent years, tones it down, offering a warm place of comfort for Ella to turn to when she needs it. The two complement each other very well and are the best parts of the movie by far.

Brooks puts much more effort into his female actors, including Kavner, who, even though she serves as an unnecessary narrator, gets most of the best laugh lines in the film. Harrelson is capable of playing a great cad, but his character here isn’t fleshed out enough. Fearn is super annoying in his role, and Lowden isn’t much better, although that could be mostly due to what his character is called to do. Were it not for the always-great Brooks and Nanjiani, the movie might be devoid of good male performances.

Brooks has made many great TV shows and movies in his 60+ year career, but Ella McCay is a far cry from his best. The only positive that comes out of it is the boosting of Mackey, who proves herself capable of not only leading a film, but also elevating one that would otherwise be a slog to get through.

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Ella McCay opens in theaters on December 12.

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