Texas dips on ranking of America's most financially distressed states

Introducing CultureMap Houston’s latest initiative in reader engagement and better living. “Ask the CM Three” is a new advice column from CultureMap city editor Eric Sandler (aka me), home and design contributor Emily Cotton, and jack-of-all-trades writer Brianna McClane.

The premise is simple. Over the last year or so, the three of us have become good friends. We like helping each other think through our problems and feel like readers might appreciate our perspective on how to confront the challenges of life in Houston.

Also, if we’re being honest, advice columns are incredibly fun to read. Being exposed to other people’s problems makes our own difficulties seem a little less onerous. It’s the same sort of schadenfreude that makes articles about restaurant closures so reliably popular.

Sure, readers could submit the obvious stuff (via this Google Form). Ask Sandler for a new restaurant for date night, Cotton for tips on scoping out estate sales, or McClane for how she’s balancing working from home with school being out for the summer. But we’re hoping to be challenged with questions where we disagree — what happens when Sandler’s Gen X indifference runs into McClane and Cotton’s Millennial enthusiasm?

To explain the idea in more detail, the three of us sat down for drinks at Bar Madonna. If the overall tone seems loose, well, we were into at least our second round of cocktails before we turned the recorder on.

Eric Sandler: This was your idea, Brianna — why do you want to start writing an advice column?

Brianna McClane: I've read Dear Abby since I was a child. Since then, I've devoured advice columns from The Washington Post, The New York Times, and plenty of others. My parents are pastors, so I grew up hearing everyone's problems and listening to the advice they gave. Looking back, I think that's one reason I love advice columns.

Even if the advice isn't for you, you can still learn something from it. And if you don't, you're at least getting to enjoy someone else's drama. One of my favorite parts is when advice columns get shared on social media. I'll always scroll through the comments to see what everyone else thinks.

Emily Cotton: I religiously read The Ethicist in The New York Times. It's written by an NYU philosophy professor, and I don't always agree with him, which is part of the fun.

Our parents used to have people over for poker night — or Rook, in my house. We'd be watching "TGIF" or the NBA Finals while our parents played cards with neighbors and coworkers, and we'd overhear who was feuding with whom or which neighbor had a new scandal.

I feel like this current younger generation didn’t get to live like that — they're more apt to be “blue-light-glasses voyeurs.” They're reading it on their phones, whether it's an advice column, Instagram, or Reddit. Maybe this bridges that generational gap. Older people lived it, younger people still want it.

BM: That's a good point. It seems to me that just a few years ago, people were much more likely to ask for opinions and advice on social media. Now it's easy to ask ChatGPT instead. But advice isn't always about finding an answer — sometimes it's about connecting with another person who's been through something similar.

EC: There’s a difference between exchanging knowledge and exchanging opinions. Let's be real specific here. I don't listen to just any knowledge anyone wants to share with me. I want it to be cited. I want it to be somewhat peer reviewed.

ES: I am with you on the New York Times columns, Emily. I'll read Ask a Manager, Work Friend, and Social Q’s pretty regularly.

Houston's a big, complicated city. If you read CultureMap, we'll tell you what's going on, but we don't offer a lot of opinions and we don't really rank things. People know us — or at least feel like they know us — from reading our work. I think there's some curiosity about what we think.

ES: All right, so what kind of questions are we looking for? Do we want relationships? Parenting?

EC: I would say all of the above. At the end of the day, this is about people reaching out to other people. Think of us as your unbiased friends who'll tell you what you need to hear.

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Got a relationship dilemma? Workplace conflict? Parenting question? Family drama? We want to hear it. Submit your questions anonymously through this Google Form, and Eric, Emily, and Brianna may answer them in an upcoming installment of Ask The CM Three.