I'm back, bitches.

For those who are interested, I've been hibernating at the Houston Museum of Natural Science greenpenthouse. I treated myself to a couture-themed Christmas, which included an Hermès snuggie and custom LV root cover-all (contrary to rumors, I did not have my tuber bedazzled for New Year's Eve). You'll all be happy to know that Diego and I are back on speaking terms and we're in talks of opening a chef-driven raw food restaurant in the former location of Chances.

FYI, my New Year's resolutions include:

• Make nice with the ferns in the greenhouse.
• Oust Audrey.
• Stop dating horticulturists.
• Get Stink-O-Meter plated in gold.
• Bloom anew.

But enough about me — I want to talk about you and your responsibility to vote in the current CulturePoll for yours truly.

Allow me to clarify I don't appreciate the label of "fake Twitter account" — I'm not Heidi Montag's boobs or Ted Danson's hair — but nevertheless, I'm not one to forego the spotlight. Sure, I was bloomshy for a few days, but when it comes to winning, I'm all in.

To all of my fans: Don't disappoint me. You know how I get hormonal. Or at the very least, bring me an espresso.