Trendysomething in Somo
Movies and mushu: A holiday guide for heebs
Chanukkah has come and gone, so what's a Jew to do on Christmas Day?
While many Houstonians spend the 25th gathered around the tree, there are still plenty of kosher options for the heeb-on-the-go. I compiled this list of Asian persuasion and cinematic distractions to keep you busy on Jesus' b'day. Feel free to make it your own — just don't get caught alone at the bar at Katz's.
The Gluten-Free Jew
Macro-biotic maccabees shouldn't let themselves be deemed "high maintenance." It's a schlep, but Longpoint Road landmark Vieng Thai is a go-to spot for rice noodles and the like. You won't find white wheat-infused wontons here — just bowls of delish yellow curry to slurp with your favorite Yid. We hear that the red curry served over brown rice is as epic as parting the Red Sea.
The Jewish American Princess
If the mall is your take on a temple, then head to Gigi's Asian Bistro at the Galleria. It's prime picking to find a nice Jewish boy out on the town with the family. (You know you want to save time and meet the mother before the first date.) Find inspiration for your future family during a screening of Little Fockers, showing at Edwards Greenway Palace.
The Heights and Mighty Jew
Dragon Bowl Asian Bistro in the Heights is open 11 a.m. - 4 p.m. Cultural inauthenticity is key here: Where else can you order a California roll, sesame chicken and pad thai? While you're in the vicinity, head to microcinema 14 Pews for a 7 p.m. screening of Marwencol, a documentary about the fantasy world of Mark Hogancamp. After being beaten into a brain-damaging coma by five men outside a bar, Mark builds a one-sixth scale World War II-era town in his backyard, dubbed Marwencol. Antics ensue.
The New-Age Jew
For everyone who hasn't finished his or her Eat, Pray, Love moment, there's The Moghul's Restaurant on the west side. South Asian delights await the heeb who left his heart in Goa during that wild post-bar exam trip. After sampling samosas, do yourself a favor and see Today's Special at River Oaks Theatre. The film is a story of discovery for young Manhattan chef, Samir, as he reconnects with his heritage through cooking Indian food.
The Two-Timing Jew
Sequels, that is. Whoever doesn't believe in the second coming hasn't seen the remake of True Grit by the Coen Brothers, nor stopped by the relocated Café Chino on the Southwest Freeway. See Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon duke it out and then wash it down with jasmine tea across the highway.